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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 8:29:06 PM

slavekal

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If he is that small, you might want to use hypnosis as opposed to a physical device.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/4/2010 9:44:11 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear Mistress LLsboy;

I would recommend looking into "Recon dot com." That is a Gay Leather site however, when it comes to male "cock" gear--they might have something.

The problem is size and how it escapes inside the groin. These belts of chastity can be defeated by anybody if they have the will to do so.

There was a case very long ago before the "scene" was more Internet and public, where a Dominant used rubber bands. Problem is, she didn't remove them and damaged the penis quite severely.

If I had your problems as an issue, I would speak with a medical doctor. They must have had study cases in medical school about splinting a sprained "cock" and how they kept it stable, secure and ...maybe in your case; preventing it from going inverted.

The balance between medically safe play and fetish is a very fine line.

I have been fortunate that all my slaves were average and didn't have an inverted penis. However, again -- just my personal feelings about the situation .... I would communicate what his behavior is doing to the over all trust level in the relationship. Prefer him however, if he is so self serving--he is crossing the line that creates the distinct difference between domination and submission. Perhaps masterbating for hours and creating a very, very sore cock--the thought of stroking it any more may be avoided--as he remembers the hours of forced masterbation. (So what if he has nothing but air...the fact that he has to continue stroking until it is quite sore...he might appreciate stopping.)

The "Cali" bracelet may be the best form of chastity--as it goes around the shaft and not in a belt. Any form or measure of arousal/stimulation the teeth inside the ring will bite into the shaft. Thus, deflating the phalus. As it is in the middle of the shaft, the male can't stroke himself fully--just a few fingers at the most.

I do wish you much luck.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 5:09:27 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

So . . . how was mine wrong?

I will however mention that, while what you write is correct about authority, I wouldn't want to be the police in my relationship any less than I would want to be a mother. I want to be a partner and a lover in the leader and dominant role. To me, this is fundamentally different.

- LA

But you wouldn't be much of a police officer, LA - because this is BDSM. Your partner in question would, as I've said, still be mostly obeying rather than being forced. Otherwise he wouldn't consent to that chastity device in the first place. It would be more a case of injecting a *bit* of that 'police officer' into the proceedings. In other words, I don't think this is 'fundamentally' different. I think it's just a *little* different.

I do think that force is a kink in its own right. Perhaps it has more to do with S&M than D/s. It must have something to do with one of those categories - because, otherwise, how else are we going to categorise it? Should dominants who are into adding some physical force go to another website? It doesn't make sense to me.

Pfft. All I know for sure is that chastity on the basis of pure obedience, and chastity on the basis of being forced - by means of a chastity device, say - are *somewhat* different things. The chastity device may take away something, but I think it'd add something else. If you're a purist - into a sub obeying, solely, no force involved: fine. But, hell, injecting some physical kind of force into it all also seems fine to me. I don't think the central principles of D/s are under any great threat here.

Peon, perhaps I should put it this way. I, as well as many Dommes like Lockit and LadyPact and a few others who have chimed in, are much more interested in an obedient man rather than a disobedient one. We see obedience as a sign of maturity and respect to us.

I personally don't use chastity devices as I have mentioned quite a few times before. I am all about personal accountability.

Forced to me has more to do with D/s than S&M because S&M is about play whereas D/s is about dynamics. My preferred dynamic is simple: when with me, a man cannot touch himself while he is erect. Forget about not coming, there is a no touching policy in place. I decide when and how and where. I trust that the men I am with want this dynamic and appreciate it and "get off" on it. They also like the challenge I give them and are proud that they can live up to it.

- LA

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 5:51:31 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Peon, perhaps I should put it this way. I, as well as many Dommes like Lockit and LadyPact and a few others who have chimed in, are much more interested in an obedient man rather than a disobedient one. We see obedience as a sign of maturity and respect to us.

- LA

I do see what you've been trying to say, LA - believe me . . . but I don't find myself agreeing.

As I've tried to make clear, whether or not a chastity device is involved, it is *still* about obedience much more than anything else. That is because this is BDSM - it has to be that way. It isn't an either/or. It's not a case of 'If there is X involved, there cannot be any Y involved'.

The 'force' element is something that either d-type or s-type might get into. If so, then no doubt both could feel that fine qualities like maturity, respect and pride are involved in some way, too. Put it this way - I wouldn't respect a domme any less, nor feel that she's less mature, because she wanted to put me in such a device.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 6:01:06 AM

OttersSwim

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My Lady and I have discussed chastity devices and they are attractive to her. Not because I am disobedient, but because a device would fairly constantly remind me of Her and our dynamic. In a word, it is a way of helping me to be "present" in our dynamic more often. Life gets hectic and stressful and in the runaround it can be easy to loose that D/s connected feeling.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 6:57:45 AM

mnottertail

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How about a CB2 instead of a CB2000?

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 7:05:12 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
a device would fairly constantly remind me of Her and our dynamic. In a word, it is a way of helping me to be "present" in our dynamic more often.

Interesting you should say that. I've very often wondered about making a chastity device that 'she's' helped to design. So it's got a double-function - serving a similar purpose to a collar.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 7:15:35 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

I work long hours and he is home alone most of that time. It is a peace of mind for me.

Well if the situation is causing you stress at work, then you should definitely get some help with it. I can understand how you would want to be able to focus on your work with out the stress of worrying if you husband is touching his dick or not. I bet your boss would be happier also.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 8:16:49 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I never said it was wrong. I just don't understand the mindset of a sub who has to be "kept" from his dick. When my Mistress said "don't touch", I didn't touch. Now if she wanted to put a device on me, that's fine. It was her pussy. Her decision. But she wouldn't have done it because she was worried that I wouldn't listen. She knew I would. She would have done it because she thought it was hot or she might do it just to annoy me.

So when all these sub guys are put into chastity what do you think is on their minds? Do you think they believe they have been put into chastity because Mistress says so or because Mistress feels like it? or because Mistress says 'this is mine and you don't touch'?
Locking away the crown jewels is a clear statement to a sub that his tackle belongs to her, not to him. To lock it away is to say 'don't touch' it couldn't be clearer than that.
I have put guys into chastity and not because I have seen them touching their dicks but I may just say 'I noticed you touching what belongs to me and your going to need a little reminder that this is unacceptable' I want a reason/ a head fuck for putting him into chastity.
I don't put him in chastity because I don't trust him. If I didn't trust him I wouldn't be with him. I put him in chastity because it feels good to both of us but personally I like a reason for doing it.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 8:45:46 AM

Baldbalzs

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I see no reason that devices would not work on a small penis as well as a larger one , a CB2000 might be ideal for a tiny dick, it is shorter than the other in the CB line , keep him shaved and in the CB2000 and send him to the gym this way he will learn a lesson

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 8:52:21 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I never thought of hypnosis, Kal!

Sunny, you make a wonderful point regarding addiction, that's why I IMO the keeping your hands off is not the same as quitting smoking. Addiction issues are way bigger than D/s and BDSM should never take the place of therapy. When I had my dick-handler, I just ignored the behaviour. He was an alcoholic (a "dry drunk") and pointing out the habit was just increasing it.

Peon, I guess we're just not on the same page! I love to PLAY with chastity. Locking someone away for the day/weekend/whatever and sending him on his merry way--OR going off on mine? HOT. Setting restrictions---like, you can masturbate all you like but you must share it with me via phone or whatever? Teasing the hell out of him... serious FUN. But, if I say, "No masturbation without supervision", and you agree, I expect that you will comply to the best of your ability. I do NOT expect that I will have to monitor your every movement and interrogate you every time we meet. It's a trust issue, really.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 11:15:24 AM

Lockit

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Because of my nickname, I get a lot of attention from those who love chastity and to be locked up. I don't know them and yet they want to be locked for me. Excuse me? Why the hell would anyone want to be locked by a stranger? The reason is they like it. They want it, they beg for it, they want to talk about their cock and how it feels and the focus is nothing but their enjoyment of it all. I have gotten to know some who really enjoy this and the focus was always their cock. Their denial, not my denial of them and all about their kink/fetish. I was just some woman they begged out of how many others, to be their keyholder.

Now pointing that out some might think that is my only thought about it and that isn't the case. With someone I am involved with, you bet I am going to use chastity at some point and for a few reasons. Claiming ownership, remember me darling, oh yes, you can't just whip it out, you often are woken up at night and must walk it off and on and on. Just like leashing him to the bed by cock and balls, chastity has a place and it is a fun place.(Thank you T for showing me the pleasure in this area and teaching me the basic in's and out's!) Not a place where correction is used because how can I punish or correct something with enjoyment?

Personally I don't want to talk about his cock all the time. It isn't my only tease and denial or play method. It is a sometimes thing. You never know, it isn't reward or punishment. It is another form of play. Oh surprise darlin, guess what? hehe... and yum, yum. But, if I cannot trust him, I am going to be finding out what the problem is. Is it us, is it him, is it addiction, emotional need/whatever? Depending on how he acts in other area's, I will determine whether I help/play or move on. It is about trust and if you cannot be trusted, for any reason, there are some real serious things we will be discussing!

The guy seems to have too much time on his hands and then... well... you know the rest of the story. I can't help myself mistress... I miss you, I need it... and as long as I do, you are paying attention. Is the bother actually his beating off or what he might be beating off to? Is there something deeper? I would suspect there is.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 11:18:14 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

So when all these sub guys are put into chastity what do you think is on their minds? Do you think they believe they have been put into chastity because Mistress says so or because Mistress feels like it? or because Mistress says 'this is mine and you don't touch'?
Locking away the crown jewels is a clear statement to a sub that his tackle belongs to her, not to him. To lock it away is to say 'don't touch' it couldn't be clearer than that.
I have put guys into chastity and not because I have seen them touching their dicks but I may just say 'I noticed you touching what belongs to me and your going to need a little reminder that this is unacceptable' I want a reason/ a head fuck for putting him into chastity.
I don't put him in chastity because I don't trust him. If I didn't trust him I wouldn't be with him. I put him in chastity because it feels good to both of us but personally I like a reason for doing it.

Absolutely not. I think there are 100's of reasons that men are put in chastity. However the OP states that " I work long hours and he is home alone most of that time. It is a peace of mind for me."

So to me that indicate that she does it because she doesn't trust him to keep his hands off.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 12:11:46 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Peon, perhaps I should put it this way. I, as well as many Dommes like Lockit and LadyPact and a few others who have chimed in, are much more interested in an obedient man rather than a disobedient one. We see obedience as a sign of maturity and respect to us.

- LA

I do see what you've been trying to say, LA - believe me . . . but I don't find myself agreeing.

As I've tried to make clear, whether or not a chastity device is involved, it is *still* about obedience much more than anything else. That is because this is BDSM - it has to be that way. It isn't an either/or. It's not a case of 'If there is X involved, there cannot be any Y involved'.

The 'force' element is something that either d-type or s-type might get into. If so, then no doubt both could feel that fine qualities like maturity, respect and pride are involved in some way, too. Put it this way - I wouldn't respect a domme any less, nor feel that she's less mature, because she wanted to put me in such a device.

I expect obedience and honesty, but I also have a fetish for restraints, bondage, gear and things that are diabolical. I also like having a physical impact on my man by reminding him who is in charge. I don't use locked chastity with my primary because we're sexually very active and it's just not our thing, but I find locked chastity to be very exciting as a control thing - but more a "distraction" thing, and a "make teasing and denial more painful" thing.

Any sub that is close enough to me that I care whether or not he ejaculates against my orders, I have already accepted that he is HONEST with me. But even though I may trust him to hold still if I say, "don't move," doesn't mean I don't want to see him in a straitjacket because it turns me on. I don't lock a man in chastity because I have to; I lock him up because it makes me excited.

Now, if a man comes to me and views chastity and devices as his focus and me as the means to an end, all desire goes out the window anyway.

Akasha

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 4:02:56 PM

cloudboy

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Help is at hand:

Solution #1

Solution #2

Helpful Chart:

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 5/5/2010 4:04:40 PM >

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 7:19:27 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Any sub that is close enough to me that I care whether or not he ejaculates against my orders, I have already accepted that he is HONEST with me. But even though I may trust him to hold still if I say, "don't move," doesn't mean I don't want to see him in a straitjacket because it turns me on. I don't lock a man in chastity because I have to; I lock him up because it makes me excited.

Now, if a man comes to me and views chastity and devices as his focus and me as the means to an end, all desire goes out the window anyway.

Akasha

This reflects my feelings exactly.

- LA

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 7:48:55 PM

MzticStormz

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Aakasha seems to have a way with words that express the feelings for many of us. Thank you :)

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/5/2010 11:04:35 PM

missfrankie

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My perspective is also that he lacks discipline. You might use a little mind control- reassure him that there will be consequences if he defies you.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/7/2010 12:58:07 PM

atUrMercy

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quote:

Well...that makes it hard for him to make my meals, clean my house and all that other stuff that I really keep him around for! Thanks for the reply though.

You're so cruel.

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RE: Need help w/ putting small penis in chastity - 5/7/2010 4:33:15 PM

Cowboy1957

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Get a birdlock chastity device. It comes in different sizes, colors and has smooth inside walls or spiked.

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