Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got a positive response?

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Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got a p... - 5/5/2010 5:30:59 PM

MissAsylum

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I am not complaining, bitching, whining or what have you. I'm just really curious if anybody has sent a message that was very rude(like calling them a bitch or something like it) and you got a willing partner out of it.

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/5/2010 5:33:32 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
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On extremely rare occasions - like once or twice in my fifteen years in the lifestyle - I have gotten a good friendship out of responding politely but firmly to an inappropriate message, telling them that is not the way to go about things. sometimes they are just new and clueless but, on rare occasions, teachable. mostly, though, they are just one of the three - clueless.

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/5/2010 5:36:54 PM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
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i've gotten a friendship out of it to a long time ago. but i just randomly wondered,"hmmm...has that ever really worked?"

(in reply to tsatske)

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/5/2010 6:55:33 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
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quote:

I'm just really curious if anybody has sent a message that was very rude(like calling them a bitch or something like it)

I have never sent such a message. What would be the point? I'd do far better to just move along.

(in reply to MissAsylum)

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/5/2010 7:29:22 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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I've received quite a few of those out of the blue, unsolicited mean emails. It is really weird, to say the least. I don't get it. Makes no sense to me. I mean, if you think someone is disgusting, a bitch or pathetic, why write to them at all? People are weird.

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/5/2010 9:30:09 PM

DarkSteven

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That's just not my style. Even if I knew she wanted that, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it nor being in the relationship that would follow.

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/5/2010 9:32:46 PM

Jeffff

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Besides... isn't that a given?

Why belabor the obvious?

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/6/2010 2:59:03 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
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From: Newcastle, Australia
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Ahh, the age ol formula for getting girls:

"Treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen".

Unfortunately, not my style - one of those boring nice guys who mostly finished last... <shrugs>

Focus.

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/6/2010 3:30:06 AM

reynardfox

Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
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The phalluscentrics who send emails like that don't expect a response, they expect rejection under any circumstances and simply get off on causing offence, hiding as they are behind their inboxes. They're just drones doing what they think real males do. Pity they get such a pathetic version in their little brains.

(in reply to MissAsylum)

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/6/2010 6:59:25 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
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You know, I can't really base much off of online email. But I'll open with a joke frequently in real life, which can often be interpreted as a pure ass kind of thing to say if it were written down. With timing, tonal inflection, yada ya, it's clear I'm being ironic in a friendly way; I'll say something like "My god, woman! Did your grandmother dress you?" to someone in a slinky, clearly not grandmotherly outfit and get a laugh, a smile, and it generally sets the kind of tone I like. I don't say this to be egotistical, I can be very intimidating in a 'the man' kind of way; especially if I'm dressed up. And something about the way I carry myself. So I enjoy conversations where the girl feels comfortable taking potshots at me. Gives me excuses to push back a little harder, later... ^_^

Try to say the same thing in an email, here, and... yeah. Let's just say that aimed, insult-style humor and ability to roll with the punches just does not seem to be a trait of the BDSM crowd, even IRL. The ones that *do* throw some ironic statements out there overdo it. Yet I see and hear it all the time in the rest of the world.

Email compared to a real life pickup is like a morse code message describing a scene versus hi def visuals of it. Some bits just don't translate.

Also... Fact of the matter is, the pickings are kind of slim these days on this site. Really, the quality of women that show up here has been spiraling downwards. I haven't even sent any nice introductory letters in several months, much less insulting ones.

Hm, to be honest some of the women's profiles are so bad I've been tempted to write an email telling them just how bad they were, but I haven't done that either. Mostly just in case they do interpret it as a come-on.

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(in reply to reynardfox)

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/6/2010 9:46:27 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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Happens all the time treat a girl poorly and she keeps coming back for more. Hell I read about it in the paper prolly once a week or so.

The latest one girl comes home finds boy in bed with a third girl. Guy proceeds to point a shotgun at his girl that lived there with him. Due to spend 2 years in the can. The "walk in girl" and him rode off "into the sunset". Stupid is as stupid does. Read they "deserve each other"

BadOne

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/6/2010 3:35:52 PM

warlock1935

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I moderated a small group once, and I did it because the guy who started it didn't. A troll had gotten on there and would rant insultingly and at length to just everybody who posted. He got some people to respond to him, and they started answering in kind. When I finally talked the owner to let me moderate, the guy just went off on me. No matter how gently and reasonably I talked to him, he just got wound up tighter and tighter. I stopped talking to him and banned him from the group, but he'd already wrecked it.
The point is that some people are just rage-aholics and a***oles, and most of them love doing it over the network because they can avoid getting punched in the nose. If I were you, I'd just block them and move on.
~~Warlock

(in reply to MissAsylum)

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/6/2010 3:48:57 PM

warlock1935

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Hi DMF - I've noticed the same thing - now I use different jokes on e-mails than I do in R/life. Cocky humor has to be very selective to work online. In R/l, for example, I like to walk up to women who wear distressed, artfully torn up jeans and say very slowly: "Excuse me, but do you know (pause) there's a hole in your pants?" Never fails to get a laugh and to break the ice thoroughly. Online I use joking comments on something they wrote or a line in their profile, but of course when it doesn't come off right I probably just don't get a reply, so it's hard to tell if I've gotten it right.

I've noticed the that Collarme has deteriorated just as Bondage.com has - do you know a good site to use these days? I"m having some luck with FetLife, but it's not as easy to use as Collarme and Bondage.com were.
~~Warlock

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

You know, I can't really base much off of online email. But I'll open with a joke frequently in real life, which can often be interpreted as a pure ass kind of thing to say if it were written down. With timing, tonal inflection, yada ya, it's clear I'm being ironic in a friendly way; I'll say something like "My god, woman! Did your grandmother dress you?" to someone in a slinky, clearly not grandmotherly outfit and get a laugh, a smile, and it generally sets the kind of tone I like. I don't say this to be egotistical, I can be very intimidating in a 'the man' kind of way; especially if I'm dressed up. And something about the way I carry myself. So I enjoy conversations where the girl feels comfortable taking potshots at me. Gives me excuses to push back a little harder, later... ^_^

Try to say the same thing in an email, here, and... yeah. Let's just say that aimed, insult-style humor and ability to roll with the punches just does not seem to be a trait of the BDSM crowd, even IRL. The ones that *do* throw some ironic statements out there overdo it. Yet I see and hear it all the time in the rest of the world.

Email compared to a real life pickup is like a morse code message describing a scene versus hi def visuals of it. Some bits just don't translate.

Also... Fact of the matter is, the pickings are kind of slim these days on this site. Really, the quality of women that show up here has been spiraling downwards. I haven't even sent any nice introductory letters in several months, much less insulting ones.

Hm, to be honest some of the women's profiles are so bad I've been tempted to write an email telling them just how bad they were, but I haven't done that either. Mostly just in case they do interpret it as a come-on.

(in reply to DMFParadox)

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/6/2010 9:11:17 PM

afkarr

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
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If they can call me a slut in a complete grammatically correct sentence with proper punctuation, I may be willing to consider replying, as judging from the mail I tend to receive, the ability to form a complete thought seems to be at a premium.

Meanwhile, I keep waiting for DS to talk dirty to me.......I guess my kink may not be his kink.....

(in reply to warlock1935)

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/6/2010 11:54:23 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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I've had a few friendly exchanges that started off with me receiving a "Hello, bitch" or "On you knees for Master" cmail. Such things make me think "newbie", and I sometimes reply, letting them know that they are completely out of line and shooting themselves in the foot. Most either don't reply or start hurling insults, but a few have taken my comments to heart and given thoughtful replies. Occasionally, I have been asked for advice on improving a profile or advice on approaching someone interesting. When that happens, I'm happy to help.

quote:

Really, the quality of women that show up here has been spiraling downwards.

Come check out some of the cmail I get, sweetie.... it ain't just the women, LOL. As for aimed, insult-style humor and rolling with the punches, someone who can make me laugh (particularly at something I've written) gets bonus points. Finding a D who can take a few pot shots in return is a bit more challenging.
Welcome back, BTW

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(in reply to afkarr)

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/7/2010 5:32:06 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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Things that make me go hmmmm

BadOne

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/7/2010 5:50:10 PM

Phoenix73Sir

Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline

Sadly 95% of my mail wants to move immediately to messenger and then 20 minutes later is some chick stuck in Africa some place. I personally have never sent out anything other than a "neutral" email of course flattering the obvious but never ever treating any of the subs or slaves I write to as anything less than an equal.

To my mind a friendship first then move from there. At worst, the best result I ever got was form a message I wrote that simply said "Damn! You look HOT in that corset!" and from that I have developed one hell of a friendship.

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/8/2010 8:40:19 AM

whipmaker7

Posts: 82
Joined: 4/30/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

I am not complaining, bitching, whining or what have you. I'm just really curious if anybody has sent a message that was very rude(like calling them a bitch or something like it) and you got a willing partner out of it.

I don't get it. Why would i want to do that?

Then again... a lot of relationships start off all nice then roll down the hill to inevitable hostility. I suppose when you start the relationship out of hostility, you only have one place to take it to... being nicer, lol.

(in reply to MissAsylum)

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/8/2010 9:22:50 AM

auditguy

Posts: 182
Joined: 3/7/2009
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I've sent these types of messages as a joke to profiles that I found particularly amusing and have gotten some surprising replies, but I attribute that to those profiles being desperate guys posing as girls and not realizing I was pulling their chain.

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RE: Have any of you sent a woman a mean message and got... - 5/8/2010 2:17:54 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
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Auditguy:
>>I've sent these types of messages as a joke to profiles that I found particularly amusing and have gotten some surprising replies, but I attribute that to those profiles being desperate guys posing as girls and not realizing I was pulling their chain.>>

You know... it has come to my attention recently that it sometimes pays to give the benefit of the doubt in these cases, until they conclusively prove fakery. Some gorgeous, sweet women I know have the writing skills of a three year old.

That said, it pays to throw a few tests on her. Don't spend too much time with one, until you've got convincing evidence.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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