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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 12:04:24 AM   
SailingBum


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cmere bitch Ill show you anal...  Smirkle

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 1:32:04 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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You could be. I personally wouldn't put much stock in not having good grammar or proper spelling, unless it was so bad they were not litterate, or it was super lazy, like typing u, instead of you. and so on and so forth.

But then again I have been known to skip completely posts that were really bad due to a unique writing style that was hard to read, and baby speak is one that really makes me just shake my head sometimes, if done to an excess.

For example , and I kid you not, one person on an ageplay forrum, every single word is kid speak, like mez saz meme no wikke.

which would translate into me says me no likes.
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I got sucked in by another friendly email last night, luring me off to chat land, and I found myself wondering if this standard of mine is unreasonably blocking me from perfectly nice guys, instead of just the con artists it is meant to block me from.

Let me be clear, by reasonable grammar, I am specifically talking about rejecting those whose grammar makes me immediately suspect that English is not their first language. I am not talk about too much slang or txtspk. that is a differant issue, causing me to suspect we have differing 'real ages' and just wouldn't be a match. I mean things like using the wrong tense, and other odd turns of language - accedintal reduncices, ect. The guy last night said 'I would like us to talk on here once in a while some each day', for instance (and every other sentence he wrote to me was simularly odd.)

I would welcome a forieghn penpal. If someone said to me 'Is my English Good? I write you from Ghanna, i hope my English is suffiecent', i would think 'Wow, a chance to talk to somone with a tottally differant cultural perspective! How cool!' I am talking about those whose odd speach is a poor fit for thier insistance, even when I ask, that they are American born and raised. Last night's guy told me He was Texas born and bred, but Educated in London.

Am I blowing off some potentailly nice guys with what actually amounts to snobbery? or are my instincts bead on?

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 1:37:15 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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Maybe so, and maybe not.

I try, honestly I do, and I am a whole lot better since I got mozilla FireFox, and it's built in spell checker, but I am still woefully inept at knowing stuff like sentance structure and stuff, and that goes for punctuation.

So I may leave out comma's where one should of been, or put a comma where it should of been a period. 
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve

When someone writes a letter and it's patent they've willfully neglected the most basic punctuation and capitalization rules, that indicates to me they are lazy and uninspired.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 1:42:11 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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Yup. It sure can. I know I wouldn't know what a transposed adverbs or  irregular plurals and verbs  was, if it walked up and introduced itself to me. And English is my first and only language spoken, and I was born and raised in an American town.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

transposed adverbs and pronouns, and the inability to use irregular plurals and verbs - but maybe, as someone suggested, the education system leaves that all too common?


< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 5/7/2010 1:43:21 AM >

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 6:42:54 AM   
Guilty1974


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I actually did spell check the entry - i corrected the spelling of Grammer based on my spellcheckers suggestion.


Personally I wouldn't have done that, because I simply know it's grammar and not grammer. And I'm foreign, not a native speaker, never lived in an English speaking country (well, except for holidays). Perhaps you should reconsider your OP.

On the other hand, I do share your feeling. I don't like reading posts full of typos or grammar errors (though I probably fuck up a few tenses every once in a while as well) or without proper interpunction. It looks lazy and uninterested and it takes effort to understand the meaning.

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 7:03:22 AM   
sunshinemiss


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Hello tsatske,

Other countries don't have spell / grammar checkers etc. on their computers *in English*. At least the ones here in Korea don't. If you rely on a computer, you could have a number of mistakes as you learned from this very thread. Frankly, if you expect others to write with proper grammar, you might want to learn it yourself and not rely on a computer. My experience is that most foreigners who know English as a second language know a whole lot more about grammar than native speakers know.

Is good grammar a reasonable standard? Yes, depending on your standard. Have you factored in other variables? For example, spoken English and written English are very different, informal speech and formal speech are very different, and writing as if you are speaking is different from all of them - let's not even talk about accenting the language! The way people post could be any of them or any combination of them. To "judge" someone's posts, you would need to know which type of "speech" is being used. As an aside, I was going to correct your spelling of "grammar" as well as your poor grammar, but other folks beat me to it. The fact that you ask this question with your own poor grammar says a whole lot. Your expectation is common in the USA, but I don't know about other English-speaking countries. I know we tend to be kind of snootie tootie about English in the USA. Frankly, we don't deserve this attitude. We're just not good enough as a society to deserve it (as this thread has shows).

Good luck with your search,
sunshine

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 12:07:44 PM   
angelikaJ


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I do not want this to come across as an attack of the OP. It is not meant that way.

I am curious as to why you persisted in spelling grammar incorrectly after numerous people pointed it out to you. A quick google search would have easily verified it.
As for the numerous grammatical errors --in your first post especially, I had originally given you the benefit of the doubt and thought you were being ironic.

My sense of puzzlement comes from wondering since good grammar seems to be a challenge for you, then isn't it a bit difficult to use that as a litmus test?
Do you view it as being a bit hypocritical?

Yes, I do think it is valid point and proper spelling and grammar tend to be important to me. Having said that, I have a friend who is dyslexic and I try for compassion when I interact with people who struggle in similar ways.

*laughs at self*
edit: spelling X2

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 5/7/2010 12:09:25 PM >


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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 12:55:22 PM   
xBullx


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Just to make a humorous and ironic jab at your post I concocted the following post:

Not only do I believe you should hold any possible suitor to rather high standards; in your case I believe an elevation of said standards is in order. If not it's all together possible, that without a mate of exceptional quality any future children of yours will face insurmountable challanges.

I had to edit, I guess that means I'm not her guy.

< Message edited by xBullx -- 5/7/2010 1:19:00 PM >


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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 1:04:46 PM   
Caius


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quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx

Just to make a humorous and ironic jab at your post I concocted the following post:

Not only do I believe you should hold any possible suitor to rather high standards; in your case I believe an elevation of said standards is in order. If not it's all together possible, that without a mate of exception quality any future children of yours will face insurmountable challanges.


Nice burn not-withstanding, I was hoping and praying for that superficial grammatical or spelling error to crop up by the end of that sentence.  And though you saved it 'til the very last but you didn't disappoint us Bull. ;).

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 1:11:18 PM   
thatsub


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Is it a reasonable standard? Yes. However, you are definitely eliminating many good potential matches, who do not fit criteria of what you're afraid. The only thing that consistently good grammar is indicative of is education + being anal at the same time.

From my personal observations (English is my second language), many native speakers have good grammar, but bad spelling skills. Grammar in itself is the main language skill -- ability to construct coherent sentences and put words together in correct order; while spelling is rather more of an "education" then a language skill. So, paying more attention to specifically grammar and not spelling will give you better results at figuring out who is who.

But then again, are you trying to avoid people in Guana, or just non-native speakers? I know you got your anecdotal evidence that grammar is linked to somebody's current physical location, but in most cases it is not true. If you're just getting a bad vibe from someone and think they're BSing you, maybe it's a good time to stop your communication w/o a need to link it to their bad grammar/spelling?

Just my 2 cents.

< Message edited by thatsub -- 5/7/2010 1:13:26 PM >

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 2:14:50 PM   
Caius


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As someone with a background in linguistics, I can never seem to walk away from this discussion.  In empirical work, linguists find it necessary to distinguish between what is called 'descriptive grammar' and 'prescriptive grammar'.  Descriptive grammar are those rules which, due to the syntactic nature of the language, when broken make the statement in some way obscure, nonsensical, or just outright unintelligible; most all native speakers of that dialect will recognize the oddity naturally without having to be told it is somehow flawed.  So for example, double negatives -- in English  double negatives are considered jarring and usually to amount to a positive (unlike some languages where they stay a negative).  Prescriptive grammar, by comparison, are rules imposed for cultural reasons usually deriving from some (typically asinine) concept of propriety.  For example, the not ending a sentence with a preposition rule someone noted earlier and every English teacher who was never particularly liked by her pupils drilled into you.  Know where that comes from? This obtuse tradition is a veteran, arising hundreds of years ago when the English scholars of the time (dominated by the clergy) decided to apply their Latin sensibilities to the structure of English, spawning this and probably many other rules that died out because they were just unworkable and felt like unnatural and unnecessary rules.  Because it never made any sense -  English and Latin differ massively in their word order and syntactical form.   No preposition is ever found at the end of a Latin sentence because in Latin the preposition is a part of the same word as the verb and the verb in Latin is not found at the end of a sentence, therefore neither will you find the preposition there.   But in English, as in all surviving Germanic languages,  you can put that sucker all over the place without risk of making word-soup out of  your sentence.  People will still understand you fine. 

This all has relevance to new trends in speech and even internet communication. The lesson we learn from the above is that you can't constrain language very easily, because we all inherit and remarkably uniform way of using it (because we literally have much of it hardwired, mostly identically, into our brains and learning only alters it so much) and most of us instinctively know that kind of bullshit for what it is.   People will not be stopped from using their innate language tools to adapt and adopt any form if it proves useful enough.   And that's the way it should be. We're talking about one of the most highly evolved of human capacities.   Again, not that you could stop it even if you tried.  Another thing that becomes undeniable when you study the structure of language is how quickly it can change.  You (general you, not OP) think you could talk an English speaker of a few generations back, so long as you stuck an occasional 'prithee' in where appropriate?   No, you'd spend nearly as much time gawking and attempting to communicate through gestures as if we sat you down with a modern Uighuir.    So, goofy as we may find them, we better learn to try to decipher  the changes occurring now (even if they do at times seem like the laziest of shortcuts) because the process is only accelerating now that we have vast new ways to communicate with the written realm and more languages are directly influencing one-another than at any previous period in history by far.  Not to mention media and other institutions trying to find every bizarre way to use language to influence you in ways that quite frankly long ago passed into the vein of Orwellian.  And this word of warning goes double for people who stand by one language as somehow more pure, refined, or powerful and refuse to consider that anything else should ever be spoken around them. They're going to have conniptions when they see what's coming if they don't learn to have some perspective on language.

However, most of the above is peripheral, at best, to the OP's question, and I think she is unfairly catching flak for misinterpretations of her stance.  She's clearly stated that she is not judging their level of language skill so much as the veracity of their claims as to where they are from, based on their language.   That is not just reasonable, I'd say she'd be an idiot if the idea didn't occur to her.  All I can do to address her question there is to say that I think you should go with what you believe the language is telling you, but don't allow it alone to make up your mind.  Feel the person out, or better yet, just confront them with your suspicions directly. If there is a reasonable explanation, they can give it.  And there are reasonable explanations; as someone else pointed out already, they might very well be the member of an insular emigrant community.  Rarer and rarer, but it does happen.  I seem to recall Texas has an ample little south-east Asian population.

Hey, wanna hear a linguist/kink joke?   How do phonologists do it?  With constraints.   

Trust me, that's fucking hilarious. 

< Message edited by Caius -- 5/7/2010 2:36:30 PM >

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 3:17:22 PM   
switch2please


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Wow. Terrible joke - my favorite kind 

Bad grammar and/or spelling IS a big turn-off for me if I'm communicating with someone online. If I wince every time I receive a message, I'll end communication. I am that bitchy about it. I don't expect perfection but consistently incorrect grammar or spelling will drive me crazy, so I remove myself from the situation. Lazy 'txt' abbreviations are also a major pet peeve of mine. It's not a prerequisite to making friends in public, but online when all I have is the written word, it is absolutely something I require.

It is my first language but of course my English is not absolutely perfect. I write quite a bit but mainly performance pieces to be read aloud. I understand that while a measure of active voice is now instinctive in my writing, I also have an informal writing style and tend towards run-on sentences as well as long messages. If I get that little red squiggly line underlining anything (rarely), I search for the proper spelling and correct it as a basic courtesy to the reader.

I do have to say though, I know plenty of non-'ethnic' individuals who also have terrible spelling and syntax. It's not a phenomenon limited to minorities. If I'm informed up front that the person I'm exchanging messages with is not using their first language, or has dyslexia, or some other condition that would make it difficult to type, I'm far more likely to be lenient with my standards. However, if we're unable to converse coherently I will end communication.

And now for something completely different... does anyone else find it odd and a little cruel that there is an 's' in 'lisp', or that 'dyslexia' is not one of the easiest words to spell? I'd also like to note that 'palindrome' is not spelled the same way backwards and forwards. Thank you. 

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 3:23:25 PM   
thatsub


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With respect to U.S. English, double negatives is not a very good example, becasue depending on where the speaker is from (within US) and what community he/she grew up in use of *certain* double negatives might be a normal thing. "Yeah righ!" and "ain't nobody" are just couple of examples of the top of my head. It is definately not a generally accepted proper *formal* language, but none the less you can hear it very often in every day speach.

There are also other variations and local flavors of English that might be weird unless you're used to them. Take, for example, use of "axe" insted "ask", which is common in Detroit area (there're might be other places - I don't know). How often do you "axe" someone in California? :)

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 3:57:49 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

My experience is that most foreigners who know English as a second language know a whole lot more about grammar than native speakers know.


I wouldn't make that generalisation. English is my second language, but a very close second.

Other than basic reading and writing, I didn't really have to tackle English until University. I'm still not a spectacular writer nor do I have all grammar rules mastered, but I do work at it daily. I would say many native speakers of equal education surpass my abilities specifically in terms of grammar.

- LA



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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 4:04:24 PM   
kittinSol


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quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx
challanges.


It's "challenges"  .




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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 4:10:59 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx
challanges.


It's "challenges"  .



Mais merde, tu es un petit dico anglo ambulant! Quel adaptation ;-)

- LA


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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 4:24:10 PM   
blueeyedbbwsub


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Mais maudit, c'est trop drole. (et merde, ou sont les accents sur mon clavier?)

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 4:31:30 PM   
Caius


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quote:

ORIGINAL: switch2please

Wow. Terrible joke - my favorite kind 



Happy to oblige.  I personally love it, but then how often does a person come across a niche joke like that which they are so ideally suited to be tickled by? Come on, a generative grammar and bondage joke!?  


quote:

ORIGINAL: thatsub

With respect to U.S. English, double negatives is not a very good example, becasue depending on where the speaker is from (within US) and what community he/she grew up in use of *certain* double negatives might be a normal thing. "Yeah righ!" and "ain't nobody" are just couple of examples of the top of my head. It is definately not a generally accepted proper *formal* language, but none the less you can hear it very often in every day speach. 

There are also other variations and local flavors of English that might be weird unless you're used to them. Take, for example, use of "axe" insted "ask", which is common in Detroit area (there're might be other places - I don't know). How often do you "axe" someone in California? :)



Yes, but this is precisely why I was careful to use the word dialect and not language.  But for the sake of simplicity let's use something common to all dialects of English.  Say, the placement of the verb and necesity of the preposition in regard to mentally labbeling object and subject.  So, for example, "Pitches domi jefff." or "domi jefff catches" are unclear when we try to demonstrate who between domi and jefff pitches and who catches.  A kind artificial and forced example, but you get the point.  For an even better one that isn't hindered by being shoehorned into doubling as a crack at fellow posters, consider the typo I just corrected form the above sentence where I initially told s2p "a niche joke like that for which they are so ideally suited to be tickled by" wherein the "for" became superfluous. Notice however, that if I hadn't added "to be tickled by" then the "for" once again becomes not just acceptable, but necessary.  This is what descriptive grammar is, a collection of thousands of learned rules layered upon thousands of instinctual rules that a person processes mostly without overt conscious thought and effort, the violation of which we detect instantly, even when we can't expressly describe the rule.  Most language is like that.  

BTW, I forgot to mention earlier that the distinction you made between written and spoken language and their respective uses and forms is spot on and a major division in the theory of language instruction (and to a lesser extent linguistics itself).  In fact the division is called literally formal/informal grammar.   As for the ask/ax variation, "ax" is actually found all over U.S., usually in black communities, and elsewhere.  More so than that, it's a pretty common occurrence for that sound change to occur (a voiceless velar stop changing to a velar fricative after a vowel of that sort in a monosyllabic word) in many languages. 

< Message edited by Caius -- 5/7/2010 4:41:59 PM >

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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 4:33:49 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: blueeyedbbwsub

Mais maudit, c'est trop drole. (et merde, ou sont les accents sur mon clavier?)


Ici :-).

- LA


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RE: Is good grammer a reasonable standard? - 5/7/2010 5:34:38 PM   
SaharahEve


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve

When someone writes a letter and it's patent they've willfully neglected the most basic punctuation and capitalization rules, that indicates to me they are lazy and uninspired.


Or maybe they just have a learning disability. Not all of us are so quick to judge.

For the record, a man I once dated couldn't spell to save his life. He wasn't all that talented at reading neither. I don't know any man to date that as skilled as he was with anything manual from building a house, fixing a car, slaughtering and butchering the animals he raised on his uncle's farm, anything that required physical talent. And even though never finished high school, he had an engineer's mind.

There are multiple intelligences. Yet it takes an open mind to be able to see them in people.

- LA



LadyAngelika:

That sounds wonderfully open-minded and benevolent, and though you may be correct in cases that represent a minor fraction of those who contact me, most need only apply the rules of grammar they already know from grade school to make a much needed good impression, as they would when pressed to write anything of any importance that reflects well upon their character (official letters, school essays, resumes, applications, etc.)

In your zeal to get up on the soap box to flaunt how open-minded you are at the expense of my words, you forgot to consider the terms patent and willful contained within them. For the record (as I see it needs to be made clear now for the self-important forum sniper), I can let a comma here or a capitalization error there slide by, but—when u r talking like this 4 no other reason than ur own convenience when writing to a 'dominate'—it's clear your writing is poorly constructed, and probably for little more than the sake of quick-speak laziness.

P.s. There are multiple intelligences? Wow, utterly shocking, LA. Perhaps one day I'll be open-minded enough to not need these communiqués from you in a public forum. One day, perhaps.

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