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Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 5:44:41 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
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I thought i would ask this after reading the cum on command post, see if anyone had any idea what was going no with my body :)

I find that I have issues with orgasm control, not that I cum without permission or that if told to wait i cannot hold, its more that I will be highly excited, begging, pleading and the Dom says no, and i hold, and i remain worked up and he says no and i hold and then sometimes it gets to the point where it just goes, no warning no anything, I will be writhing, begging etc etc, feeling like I can't possibly cling on any longer, to the point of tears streaming down my face, logically i would say this would be the point of cumming without permission but i don't do that, litterally will be gasping and begging then nothing, arousal gone, sensations gone, all desire to cum just leaves, i could have just been doing an arobics workout for all the sexuality in me - just wondered if anyone can shed any light on this?

Post #: 1

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 5:51:50 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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Perhaps you are trying too hard to control your body and your reactions and they are fighting back by shutting down?

Maybe its a health issue -- only a doctor frankly could tell you that.

Maybe other things are going on in your life and this is taking a stressful toll on your body.

I'm assuming you've told your dom about this? He might want to consider just letting you come whenever for a while and see if its a real inability that is developing or something else.

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Post #: 2

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 5:55:51 PM

scratchingpost

Posts: 231
Joined: 11/16/2005
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This is a normal reaction to bodily stimulation eventually it becomes desensatised and the orgasm just disappears. I have had that happen wtih submissives when teaching orgasm control/denile, and it has happened to me as well. when i was learning to control mine. I know it offers no solution but I do hope it offers comfort in that you are not alone or abnormal.

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Post #: 3

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 5:56:22 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Thanks for the response, to be honest I don't think it's medical, I have no problems with orgasming at other times, I thought it maybe possible that my body closes down rather than risk disapointing subconciously.
I am not with a Dom at the moment though there is one that it is heading that way with *g* so I thought i'd see if anyone had any ideas because I really like this man and don't want anything to cause any problems.

It's more something that has been as long as i can remember

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Post #: 4

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 5:58:01 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Thank you very much for that :) it is nice to hear that it has happened to others :)

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Post #: 5

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 6:00:10 PM

BrianSenior

Posts: 88
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

Be up front and let Him know, somthing for Him to research and help you to overcome. Perhaps not holding out as long, watching and learning your point of no return and not letting you pass it. Perhaps. ~BK~

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Post #: 6

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 6:00:16 PM

OneX2

Posts: 157
Joined: 1/3/2006
Status: offline

That sounds a lot like ecstasy to me. You can look at the extended orgasm for readings on this. Looking at it like this you have an experience that most people long for. Enjoy fine tuning it. You might want to check out my post on hypnotic submission under The Left Hand of Slavery. Have fun!

Joseph

(in reply to amaidiamond)

Post #: 7

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 6:00:44 PM

sweetbbwsub31

Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

I am just beginning to learn to control mine, however, i have had the same problem. Just relax...it takes time sweetie.

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Post #: 8

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 6:07:58 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

It's frustrating for me now because, whilst I was not with someone it didn't matter, now it is going the way that i will belong to someone and I really don't want to let him down, to me, depriving him of the pleasure of watching me fight to hold out would be not that much different to loosing the battle and orgasming, i get the feeling though that this man is someone that will help me work through, I'm generally used to trying to sort out these things on my own.

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Post #: 9

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 6:14:01 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

I am trying to learn how to walk the balance of not cumming until he tells me and not losing it after he tells me yes. So many times I will be right there, but I have to ask first before I can orgasm. By the time he tells me yes I can, I often feel I have to rev myself back up again in order to cum. I was used to cumming at will and this is definately a bigger challenge.

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Post #: 10

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 6:20:06 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

I thought i would ask this after reading the cum on command post, see if anyone had any idea what was going no with my body :)

I find that I have issues with orgasm control, not that I cum without permission or that if told to wait i cannot hold, its more that I will be highly excited, begging, pleading and the Dom says no, and i hold, and i remain worked up and he says no and i hold and then sometimes it gets to the point where it just goes, no warning no anything, I will be writhing, begging etc etc, feeling like I can't possibly cling on any longer, to the point of tears streaming down my face, logically i would say this would be the point of cumming without permission but i don't do that, litterally will be gasping and begging then nothing, arousal gone, sensations gone, all desire to cum just leaves, i could have just been doing an arobics workout for all the sexuality in me - just wondered if anyone can shed any light on this?

The exact same thing happens to me- if I get to the point of orgasm I either have to orgasm or shut down. And if I shut down I won't be able to orgasm for quite awhile. Just how my body works.

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Post #: 11

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 7:16:42 PM

wytchywoman

Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

Thank you very much for that :) it is nice to hear that it has happened to others :)

You're not the only one. My owner used to use orgasm control by introducing severe pain when I was at the point of wanting sexual release. My body shut down. Just like Pavlov's dogs. I learned to associate sexual release with severe pain and just shut down at a point.

Luckily he watched me closely and learned that for me, at least, that didn't work. I don't mind pain as a general rule. I love to be whipped, but when someone tells me I can't have sexual release without interrupting the natural nerve to the clit thing without snapping me back out of that state by causing severe pain, yeah...the nerve endings in that lower region just gave up for awhile.

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Post #: 12

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 9:18:14 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
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Try being a guy

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Post #: 13

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 9:27:08 PM

wytchywoman

Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

Try being a guy

No thanks. I have enough problems trying to keep up with my own gender. :) Still I can only imagine how that might affect a male. -shudders-

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Post #: 14

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 9:40:08 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

And here I thought I would only have to learn how to fake an orgasm. It's a bit disconcerting to find out that now have to learn to fake a non-orgasm.

(in reply to wytchywoman)

Post #: 15

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 10:47:30 PM

DigitBox

Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline

I haven't done much in the area of orgasm control but have experienced the loss of arousal and just can't get it back easily.
For me it usually happens when I start to worry if I'll be able to actually make it to that peak experience. Or I get worn out. But I have had happen what others here have described as like a desensitization.

Things are different for me though since my plumbing and electrical is different. That can complicate things in ways that would be outside of the experience of most men and women.

But nerves are nerves and feelings are feelings so I've definitely had the power go off during the storm.

(in reply to amaidiamond)

Post #: 16

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 10:54:41 PM

wytchywoman

Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DigitBox

I haven't done much in the area of orgasm control but have experienced the loss of arousal and just can't get it back easily.
For me it usually happens when I start to worry if I'll be able to actually make it to that peak experience. Or I get worn out. But I have had happen what others here have described as like a desensitization.

Things are different for me though since my plumbing and electrical is different. That can complicate things in ways that would be outside of the experience of most men and women.

But nerves are nerves and feelings are feelings so I've definitely had the power go off during the storm.

Bingo! You got it! I find it hard to believe that anyone can tell a nerve ending to cum or not cum on command. That just makes me wonder whether these people who claim to have the power to make someone "cum on command" aren't being faked out.

Example: I get cramps in my feet when I lie down. That's a response to muscles and nerves. I can't lie in bed and command my muscles and nerves to "just stop that shit".

I have to get up and walk it off. I have to exercise those muscles that are bitching at me. When someone tells me I can't cum after building me up to it, those same nerve endings (by the same token) will shut down eventually.

There is a bit of a difference between muscle cramps and spasms and orgasm control, admittedly.

_____________________________

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to DigitBox)

Post #: 17

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 10:58:31 PM

wytchywoman

Posts: 510
Joined: 2/27/2006
From: Southeastern Michigan
Status: offline

Yes..my sexual organs shut down faster than my legs and feet. Isn't that a total joke? My clit shuts down when someone introduces pain into what I would like to be sexual release.

But when my legs and feet start cramping they won't shut up till I drag my ass out of bed and walk the cramps out. How disgusting is that? -grin-

_____________________________

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Post #: 18

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 11:37:37 PM

dorsaisgirl1

Posts: 156
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

i have that problem sometimes daddy gets me right at the edge and then says cum and all of a suden i can't .its like it just goes away and it gets me so frustrated becouse i wan't to cum for daddy so badly. but thank goddess it don't happen all the time.

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Post #: 19

RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 11:44:36 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Its happened to me too.

Also, I cum easier if I cum often, if I havent cum for a couple of days I find it harder to...i must shut down or something...one reason denial would never work for me. ..

Prolly a bit off topic but i think orgasm denial is more of a male sub thing...does it work for any women here...or should i start a new topic?

< Message edited by slavejali -- 4/6/2006 11:47:29 PM >

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Post #: 20

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