RE: People are NOT always what they claim...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: People are NOT always what they claim...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: People are NOT always what they claim...

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 4:57:33 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I tend to agree, how can one be on the phone with someone and not know they were a teen?--there are so many ways it leaks out--I am sorry that the friend got betrayed and felt hurt---but it makes Me wonder--although I am curious- I do KNOW of a situation that exists in the Georgia area--where this could have happened.

Let it be a lesson--

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 4/7/2006 4:59:19 AM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 21

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 5:13:21 AM

foxnotinsox

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: eastern Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I tend to agree, how can one be on the phone with someone and not know they were a teen?--there are so many ways it leaks out--I am sorry that the friend got betrayed and felt hurt---but it makes Me wonder--although I am curious

At 15, I had moved out of the house, and was dating a guy in his late 20s.
At 18, I celebrated my coming of age (ie, legal drinking age in Quebec) by going to my favourite hangout.. the regulars were shocked when they learned of my true age.
I had more maturity at 15 then some do at thrice that age =)

It's easy to get the wool pulled over one's eyes when there is a desire for something more to happen. Perhaps they spoke well as friends .. perhaps the girl was savvy (which happens more and more earlier these days) .. who knows. Yes, I am sorry your friend is hurting, because being deceived .. no matter the manner in which it was done .. makes one wonder if they can trust anyone ever again. A hard lesson learned. It might take time, yet trusting can be rebuilt .. just with better safeguards for the next time..

oxox,foX
Veni vidi veni

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 22

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 6:14:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

7 months with no offline contact? What mature financially stable adult cannot get the funds together to meet someone within 2 months? If they really want a relationship, what's stopping them?

It sucks but it's really no different than the, I'll go with thousands, doms and subs and other people online who are pretending to be who they aren't all over the place. This is just a more rare occurence that got kept on the line.

She should be doubting herself- and hopefully next time she'll make better choices.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 23

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 1:36:16 PM

MasterRenegade77

Posts: 1852
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate N.Y. (Broome Co.)
Status: offline

I Myself have learned from My past mistakes (never been involved W/a Teen T/G) I was involved in a couple Long Distant Relationships where the slaves would come up W/innumerable excuses why they couldn't send a recent pic... (They were "women", I talked to them on the phone) Now I insist that a prospective slave come up w/a web-cam in short order...
(they're cheap now wally-world has them for uinder $30)
If they don't want to invest that small amount into a new relationship then I have to assume they'd invest very little of themselves in a relationship either...
"OR"
They're just a big OOOgly Beeffalo & they don't want me to find out this Factoid...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 24

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 1:49:08 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Yeah I found that interesting too makes you wonder what they talked about mostly *grin*

Is that horrible of me to think that? If so, sorry.

I'll join you in being horrible...lol
I thought the same...how did a 15 y/o manage to lead her on for 7months....hmmmmm

There must have been clues along the way.Sometimes We are too blind to see them I guess.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 25

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 1:58:04 PM

tears4him

Posts: 30
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

7 months with no offline contact? What mature financially stable adult cannot get the funds together to meet someone within 2 months? If they really want a relationship, what's stopping them?

It sucks but it's really no different than the, I'll go with thousands, doms and subs and other people online who are pretending to be who they aren't all over the place. This is just a more rare occurence that got kept on the line.

She should be doubting herself- and hopefully next time she'll make better choices.

No, she should not be doubting herself. Not everyone who is mature and finacially mature can always make the funds available for an off line meet within two months. This woman was dooped. Sad story and sorry for you. But it happens. When I was 15 I could pass for 21 with no problems. Some are too quick to judge this woman for the way things went. On yet another thread, a woman is being attacked by an asshole who is calling her a whore. Lots of support over there. But if one gets dooped, it's all their fault. Lay no blame on the others door step as well.
To the OP, sorry about your friend. Hope they get through this and not give up on themself.

_____________________________

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah blah blah

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 26

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 2:02:55 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wytchywoman
I hate to see anyone hurt, but please don't rage about it.

People need to learn to use their natural instincts.

This the point in which I disagree. letting off steam or raging and having a good rant is one of the most positive and healthy things you can do.. If you mind is on the magickal bent.. OOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh Boy what energy to be directed against the offender <<<<Totally evil chuckle>>>>>

I do agree and try to teach those close to be to develop theie "Gut Feeling" . The comments which are used in a jocular vien these days: "Use the Force.." or "Feel the Force" have much more truth to them yhan many cane ever hope to comprehend..

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

well rest assured i am just exactly what I pretend to be...an ugly opinionated and bitter old bastard...

We know Arpig but we do love you anyway....

< Message edited by IronBear -- 4/7/2006 2:05:44 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to wytchywoman)

Post #: 27

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 2:16:20 PM

SpankMuhButt

Posts: 1416
Joined: 1/4/2006
Status: offline

At 15 I could have never pulled this off. I didn't even makeout with a boy till I was 15, and I was such a prude up until 98 lol damn how things have changed lol

_____________________________

If you had one shot, one opportunity, To seize everything you ever wanted, One moment, Would you capture it or just let it slip?

gina

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 28

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 2:20:04 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Perhaps looks wise you could pass for 21...but at 15 there is still some immaturity.

I do feel bad for her it sucks to be fooled.
But We are responsible for ourselves and our own actions.

I make a mistake I own it,I move on and hope I learned something.

The op of this is about someone not seeing clearly/being fooled...the other thread is an unwarranted attack.
Totally different scenarios.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to tears4him)

Post #: 29

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 2:43:43 PM

JoeT2000

Posts: 32
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

The problem with the place where the internet meets BDSM is it's the perfect breeding ground for sexual fantasy. How many pics of submissives have I seen that appear torn from the cover of Gorean novels. How many Doms are 6'4 and built like Conan... erm... sure. I tell you something... I find it hard to believe that all the Doms with Sir or Lord in their nicks have been knighted by the Queen... then again... there is some deviance in the English aristocracy... and maybe they breed more than I realise.

The friend who was mislead by a 15 year old. Well the 15 year old was the one deceiving... but I find myself struggling to understand how you wouldn't suspect... maybe the talk of Bratz was misinterpreted. That said... the gigglz of many submissives do make me wonder if school finished early today.

My usual nick online is Joe_the_Toad. Am I small green and warty... well you be the judge. Do I have an exceptionally long tongue... well so I'm told ;op

In seriousness, anyone coming into this world online needs to have some common sense, and realise that that beguiling 5'7 brunette with the fuck me eyes and the 36DD chest is possibly a welder from Slough called Kevin who is exploring his anally expansive fantasies.

The only way to be sure is to meet the person, in a safe public place at first if the relationship is to be pursued. For those who sell all and move without putting in some "courting" time... well in my opinion that's madness and naivety in the extreme.

Great tips... do they like their family... do they get on with their mother... how many "long term" friends they have... are all good signs of the building blocks of their emotional stability. Do they like themselves... is there confidence there (but beware the narcissists...). Try meeting their friends and family first.

Personally... I think completion of the MMPI should be mandatory for any online relationship (grins). I think online BDSM attracts a number of people with "personality disorders"... That said, I've met some fantastic people online who do appear well balanced and decent... and hey... I'm online... so there are people who are genuine, decent, intelligent etc... I mean, look at me. (Gives you a dazzling smile).

Common sense... taking things slowly, and if you're looking at serious relationship... try courting first... before selling everything and committing all. The police checks... yes fair enough if you want to... but why not meet them, do your own questioning, and use your own judgment... at the end of the day, no check will tell you if someone has bodies buried at the bottom of their garden, unless they've been caught.

One other thing... trust is also quite nice in a relationship. Ah the dychotemy of being a "grown up" and falling in love.

Joe

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 30

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 3:02:17 PM

tears4him

Posts: 30
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

Perhaps looks wise you could pass for 21...but at 15 there is still some immaturity.

I do feel bad for her it sucks to be fooled.
But We are responsible for ourselves and our own actions.

I make a mistake I own it,I move on and hope I learned something.

The op of this is about someone not seeing clearly/being fooled...the other thread is an unwarranted attack.
Totally different scenarios.

I'm so glad you knew my maturity level at age 15. Things happen, instead of drgging the OPs friend thru the mud for being fooled, showing little support like in the other thread is what I ment. Or as someone else has been known to say on here, not a single person on here can not claim to of ever not been fooled, or done some fooling themselves. Even if it took place outside BDSM. And if you haven't yet, don't worry. Your time too will come to join the crowd.

_____________________________

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah blah blah

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 31

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 4:19:54 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tears4him

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

Perhaps looks wise you could pass for 21...but at 15 there is still some immaturity.

I do feel bad for her it sucks to be fooled.
But We are responsible for ourselves and our own actions.

I make a mistake I own it,I move on and hope I learned something.

The op of this is about someone not seeing clearly/being fooled...the other thread is an unwarranted attack.
Totally different scenarios.

I'm so glad you knew my maturity level at age 15. Things happen, instead of drgging the OPs friend thru the mud for being fooled, showing little support like in the other thread is what I ment. Or as someone else has been known to say on here, not a single person on here can not claim to of ever not been fooled, or done some fooling themselves. Even if it took place outside BDSM. And if you haven't yet, don't worry. Your time too will come to join the crowd.

do not think it a contradiction to sarcastically comment on a complete stranger on knowing what you or any 15 year old is like and then turn around and universally state that every single person on here has been fooled? If her logic doesn't work for her in your opinion.... why would the same logic work for you?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to tears4him)

Post #: 32

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 4:22:57 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

ok just a thought occurred to me.... all this while the person was lying to your friend.... I guess I wonder... why is the fact that she is 15 be truth? Could it not be just another lie? Maybe the lie is the person is a 70 year old male? I guess what I am saying.... can she believe anything from this font on the screen?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 33

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 4:38:58 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

What I found interesting here is that a fifteen year-old female acted as a Domme for nearly seven months to an older woman.

Same here....
Hmm is the domme who turned out to be a 15 really 15 or the domme pretending to be 15 nevermind it is to confusing

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 34

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 4:39:35 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Gosh thanks (I think???)
Does that mean if I keep it up you will start loving me too?

ever-hopefully yours
Arpig

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 35

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 5:01:21 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline

True Knight a lie is a lie however, one can get you jail time in some situations where the other can not .

*smirks*

Nika{Phoenix}

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 36

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 8:22:40 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

First, I would like to entend my warm feelings for the person that was hurt in all this. Wouldn't the world be a better place, if people didn't get hurt.

I can understand how this can happen, because apparent age is often determined by the communication method used. Online, I could have passed for an adult at a pretty young age. If you can write at all, it adds quite a few years. On the phone, with my whisper talk, squeeky voice, I will be lucky if I can pass for an adult when I'm 50. In person ... well lets just say I hear, "Oh, grow the fuck up!" at least once a month.

On a related topic ... one of the things I've noticed about quite a large number of people on this board that have found there successful match online, is that a good percentage of them seem to be people that have had other D/s experiences offline ... the point being that these people are perhaps using the intenet in a more effective manner ... they know what a D/s relationship entails and how to function in one. They know what questions to ask, and probably have a much better chance of success. They are in effect, just using this tool as a very large munch.

My two cents, is that people new to this, might want to put less emphasis on the internet as a matchmaking tool. I know some new people have found their ideal match online ... it does happen ... but I think people in the scenario outlined in the last paragraph, have a much better chance of success, and a much lower chance of being fooled.

(in reply to nikaa)

Post #: 37

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/7/2006 11:14:44 PM

subtlesubie

Posts: 138
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

People here have been very supportive, and that is nice, but it needs to be said. The teen may be venal and conniving, but your friend is a fucking moron.

(in reply to caitlyn)

Post #: 38

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/8/2006 6:24:28 AM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

People here have been very supportive, and that is nice, but it needs to be said. The teen may be venal and conniving, but your friend is a fucking moron.

ahhh ... "subtle" subie?

(in reply to subtlesubie)

Post #: 39

RE: People are NOT always what they claim... - 4/8/2006 6:30:50 AM

SirPrize

Posts: 31
Joined: 11/23/2004
Status: offline

These things are the norm, not the exception, though the length and degree of this one makes it somewhat unusual. My guess would be that roughly 90-95% of everyone on line is lying about something significant in the way they represent themselves. And it doesn't stop at on line. Twice in the past few years I have discovered women I was in a real life relationship with had basicly lied to me about everything they had told me about themselves, their backgrounds...everything. One even tried to pull a fake pregnancy on me. I am far from stupid or gullible, but there are people out there who's entire lives are lies and they are GOOD at it.

As with your friend, I came doubt my own ability to trust because I had been so badly fooled. I pretty much withdrew from the bdsm community for over a year to lick my wounds and have some "me" time. But life goes on, and you can either go on with it, or it goes on without you.

< Message edited by SirPrize -- 4/8/2006 6:38:27 AM >

_____________________________

Baseball will get you through times of no bdsm better than bdsm will get you through times of no baseball. GO RED SOX!

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: People are NOT always what they claim...

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125