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How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be shared - 5/8/2010 3:41:33 PM   
Bobtop46


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/12/2009
Status: offline 		I have read profiles from listed Bisexual  female slaves/subs stating in the profile they don't like to be shared.  How does this work?  Does she expect to have female play partners but her Master or Dom can't?  I'm a straight Dom and confused by this.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/8/2010 3:46:19 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		It's somewhat of a misnomer you see often that people think that the fact that someone has varied sexual interests means they have to have them all at once. One can be bisexual or bicurious and still be monogamous.

I haven't seen this profile, but being shared may mean you can't have your friends play with her too...it can have various connotations, or not sharing you, meaning you should be interested in monogamy with that person. The best idea is to ASK THEM, not us

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(in reply to Bobtop46)
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RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/8/2010 4:01:14 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Just because someone is bi-sexual, doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want a monogamous relationship.  Some people are not interested in having more than one partner at a time.

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(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/8/2010 4:11:28 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Did you try asking the person with the profile?

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(in reply to Bobtop46)
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RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/8/2010 5:29:57 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Just because someone is bi-sexual, doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want a monogamous relationship.  Some people are not interested in having more than one partner at a time.


This

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/8/2010 6:39:31 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		It's just a designation of that person's sexuality- it has nothing to do with their views on monogamy, polygamy, casual encounters or anything else. After all how about all the people that choose the box that says straight...or gay...or lesbian? Because they choose one of those boxes doesn't mean a thing as to whether they want to have sex outside of having it with their partner.

(in reply to Bobtop46)
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RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/8/2010 8:34:21 PM   
wenchwanted42


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/13/2010
Status: offline 		I'm bi, and not shared means not shared. If we want another play partner, we'll make that decision together, and find the partner together that suits both of us. He's not loaning me to his buddies on poker night just because having a kinky chick makes him seems all studly or something.

(in reply to lizi)
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RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/8/2010 8:54:16 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
i agree with this......
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
The best idea is to ASK THEM, not us

and this........
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Just because someone is bi-sexual, doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want a monogamous relationship.  Some people are not interested in having more than one partner at a time.

and this.......
quote:

ORIGINAL: wenchwanted42
I'm bi, and not shared means not shared. If we want another play partner, we'll make that decision together, and find the partner together that suits both of us. He's not loaning me to his buddies on poker night just because having a kinky chick makes him seems all studly or something.


i''ve been bi all my life, but i've never had a relationship with more than one person at a time. If being w/ someone else as a play partner ever came up, W/we'd decide it together. What i don't like (and won't do) is being shared willy nilly with "whoever" like some kind of party toy or cheap entertainment for all the friends.

~sweetsub~

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

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(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/9/2010 3:47:29 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I am bisexual, and possibly open to a polyfidelitous relationship. My Master and I are currently in a monogamous-with-room-for-play relationship with our female playpartner. However, casual sex would be damaging to me, so if he had wanted to be able to share me sexually with others at random, I would not have become involved with him.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/9/2010 7:38:55 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Just because someone is bi-sexual, doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want a monogamous relationship. 


Yep.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/9/2010 8:07:04 PM   
atractivenuisane


Posts: 30
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Just like someone can be attracted to blonds AND redheads, but only date one at a time!

(in reply to FetishRose)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/10/2010 4:34:05 AM   
Bobtop46


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/12/2009
Status: offline 		Thank You A/all for your reponses.  It just seemed to me that a loyal Bi in a monogamous reletionship is now stright or lesbian, specially if looking for long term.  I guess they just suppress thier Bi urges and tendencies not being fullfilled with the current straight or gay relationship.

(in reply to atractivenuisane)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/10/2010 5:03:16 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobtop46

Thank You A/all for your reponses.  It just seemed to me that a loyal Bi in a monogamous reletionship is now stright or lesbian, specially if looking for long term.  I guess they just suppress thier Bi urges and tendencies not being fullfilled with the current straight or gay relationship.


How did you come to that conclusion from the responses given...by some who identify as bi ?

Do you think a person stops being bisexual simply because they're with one partner, regardless of gender?

I'm honestly curious to understand your reasoning behind your response above.

*edited to add....After a quick glance at your profile, OP, it would appear you also have a difficult time understanding switches.  This explains, at least to me, your issues with relating to bisexuals.  It might be helpful to remember that life isn't strictly black and white but full of many shades and colors.

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 5/10/2010 5:15:08 AM >

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(in reply to Bobtop46)
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RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/10/2010 8:14:09 AM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		Ok. How do I say this? I'm bi. I'm also attracted to, say, Caucasian men and Asian men.

If I were dating (as I am) only Caucasian men at the moment, would you think I was not being fulfilled in that relationship, because I was not also dating Japanese men?

It's exactly the same thing. It means we are attracted to men and women, it doesn't meant that we absolutely need a relationship with both to feel fulfilled.

(in reply to Bobtop46)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/10/2010 8:19:33 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		In my previous relationship of 3 years, I was in a monogamous and no-outside-play relationship with a male Dominant. I didn't become straight, since I have been attracted to other women before, and being involved with him didn't change my basic nature. The same goes for my not switching while I was with him. When I started looking after we broke up, I was open to someone of any D/s or BDSM orientation, and while I preferred men, I was willing to date a woman or transperson if we clicked in all the ways that I needed for a relationship.

(in reply to Miyani)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/10/2010 8:49:09 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		To us being shared means lending me out to buddies for their enjoynent. It was a hard limit of mine not to be shared. When i told Master this he said it is a good thing because i don't share what belongs to me. He said besides if they were with you i could not be with you, and for that would not be fun for me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/10/2010 3:38:56 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobtop46

It just seemed to me that a loyal Bi in a monogamous reletionship is now stright or lesbian, specially if looking for long term.  I guess they just suppress thier Bi urges and tendencies not being fullfilled with the current straight or gay relationship.

Wha...?? i don't think one can make a blanket statement like that at all. Even though i may be in a relationship with a man or a woman (i never have relationships w/ both at the same time), it doesn't mean i stop being attracted to both. It's like the faitfhul married man who can still see how attractive other women are, but he doesn't act on it. Even if i am in a relationship with one or the other, if that hopefully long-term relationship did happen to unfortunately end, i may still be open to either a man or a woman for my next relationship. Just because i'm in a faithful monogamous relationship with one or the other, i don't lose my ability to be attracted to both genders, and i'm sure i'm not alone in this.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Bobtop46)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/10/2010 4:25:45 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Just because someone is bi-sexual, doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want a monogamous relationship.  Some people are not interested in having more than one partner at a time.


Yep. Otherwise, you may as well say since I prefer men over women, I'm going to want to fuck every man I see. 

Also, being shared is much different than, say, being in a poly-type situation.  Being shared means he loans me out at his whim and I don't have much (if any) say in it.  I personally am not against that for myself, but it's not for everyone.


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(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/12/2010 12:50:36 PM   
Bobtop46


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/12/2009
Status: offline 		Thank You A/all for the wonderful respones.  I undersatnd and think that the issue of sharing has to be mutualy agreed upon in a D/s relationship in the begining.  I was mostly wondering if I had a Bi slave if I needed to take into account her desires for a woman.  The answer is it is case by case.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How does work when a Bi slave/sub not like to be sh... - 5/12/2010 12:55:39 PM   
SweetNika


Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline 		Simply because I am bisexual does not mean I want my dom to share me or that I am interested in having more than one play partner at a time or that I want those partners to interact with each other in a sexual nature. I think far to many men assume simply because you are bisexual that they are going to get the "ffm" that most men fantasize about. Lol

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Blessed be,
Nika


(in reply to Bobtop46)
Profile   Post #: 20
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