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The sexual objectification of men - 5/9/2010 1:54:50 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline 		I congratulate TexasMaam, who wrote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

Dear clueless,

Because We live in a world where T and A and ogling, drooling and jerking off several dozen times a day are a male way of life.

We grow up being objectified and watching our friends, mothers, sisters, daughters, peers, mentors as well as the girl next door and total strangers we never meet being objectified... a world where every woman we know is reduced to being defined solely upon the criteria of her chest, whether she's a woman with udders or not.

Ergo, We take particular delight in objectifying the men in our lives.

Turnabout is fair play.


It's not really turnabout for me; it seems to be more or less how I'm wired.  In my mind, strong, attractive men are for beating and using and fucking.  Assuming they are submissive and that they consent of course; I certainly respect that there is such a thing as dominant men and vanilla men who are just not wired to enjoy this way of relating.  I'm not interested in being nonconsensually rude or ugly to someone who isn't getting pleasure from that kind of interaction, so I generally strive to be courteous about not doing it to guys who don't appreciate it.  If more men had the same set of ethics about sexually objectifying women, that would be nice, but I do not personally wish to lower my own standards of honorable behavior because other people habitually stoop that low.  It's not particularly courteous to make strangers feel uncomfortable because you're staring or making inappropriately personal remarks, so I don't do that thing unless it's a situation where I can reasonably assume some degree of consent. 

When I do have consent and can give my personal preferences free rein, I very much enjoy the sexual objectification of the male.  I have been known to refer to my partner as my hot little cum faucet or my sexy studmuffin.  At one point when I was much younger and had a less developed sense of courtesy and respect, I described men as basically being dildos with a very large and complicated handle.  They exist for me to use and enjoy.

A fun party game I've played several times at my local femdom group is one where the submissive male must retain an erection while we take turns tossing a ring to see if we can score a point by getting it over his cock.  That one is always great fun. 

Of course I like to dress my boys up sexy, or require them to dress attractively for me.  My idea of sexy ranges from cosplay to formal wear, but it can vary depending on what the individual actually looks hot in.  Making them dance or perform as male strippers is also fun.

What are your favorite means of sexual objectification of the male?  Remember that the point is that he is the performer, the object presented for the viewer's pleasure, being marketed and packaged attractively to the consumer, which is you.  This isn't about him or his fetishes, it's about what is really and honestly attractive to you, the femdom.  You are the viewer and the consumer; they are the object you view, and you can be a complete oinking female chauvinist pig when it comes to requiring what he must look like to meet your standards of attractiveness and earn a nice lewd catcall or whistle from you. 

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 5/9/2010 1:56:36 PM >

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/9/2010 2:27:31 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		About a month ago, there was a similar thread. I think my response there applies here.

Let me start by saying that on a personal note, I don't find anything noble in turning about any type of behaviour as an in your face.

Have I ever, objectified men, yes. I admit that I've had a "he's mighty pretty but he's not to bright, but that's what gags are made for" moment. But more often then not, I find it left me feeling unsatisfied. I don't really desire it any more.

Other than the emotional component of adoring the man I'm with, I also need to admire him, his personality, his intelligence. And with him, I can, within the realm of play, bring objectification in to ad an element of hotness. And when I'm with a man that I share a whole lot more with, having moments of objectification play can be really hot.

- LA




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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/9/2010 5:56:35 PM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline 		Ok, Im going to weigh in here, not as a sub male but as a musician. I hear all the time about how musicians objectify groupies, use them for sex then leave them, etc. To be honest, they do the same thing to us. We are nothing but a fantasy to them, sleeping with some big bad rocker. Having gained a measure of self respect, I no longer indulge in groupies because I am objectified and it makes me sick. Now, like Lady Angelika said, its hot to add it into an already strong and healthy relationship, but I could never do that with someone who doesnt give a shit about me personally,

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/9/2010 7:54:29 PM   
dreamerdreaming


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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/9/2010 7:59:22 PM   
marshalp


Posts: 94
Joined: 8/31/2009
Status: offline 		In my humble opinion, I do not mind being objectified by a person who I know holds a high opinion of me and the objectification is used (in words of LA) "to add an element of hotness". And objectification can be real hot in some scenarios. At times I find it could also enhance ones self worth. I mean, to have your pecker compared to a dildo is not something too bad (it stays up indefinitely, wish I could), but the imp pre-condition is recognition of mutual respect between the partners.   I agree women have been objectified my the patriarchal culture we live in for ages, but using the same outlook as a turnabout seems more reactionary then a vision of power or even equality. (Agreeing with LNT) Someone who decides to "Lower my (her) own standards of honorable behavior because other people habitually stoop that low" would be at the same level  (low).

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 9:25:33 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marshalp

In my humble opinion, I do not mind being objectified by a person who I know holds a high opinion of me and the objectification is used (in words of LA) "to add an element of hotness". And objectification can be real hot in some scenarios. At times I find it could also enhance ones self worth. I mean, to have your pecker compared to a dildo is not something too bad (it stays up indefinitely, wish I could), but the imp pre-condition is recognition of mutual respect between the partners.


It is definitely a lot hotter in a long term relationship where you do have a solid foundation of mutual respect, caring, love or even just friendship.  I've also had fun with it in more casual femdom play party settings where I don't necessarily know the person I'm playing this game with well enough to have established that kind of relationship.  What I do know is that they consent, that they are having fun, and so am I.  So it's all good.


quote:

I agree women have been objectified my the patriarchal culture we live in for ages, but using the same outlook as a turnabout seems more reactionary then a vision of power or even equality. (Agreeing with LNT) Someone who decides to "Lower my (her) own standards of honorable behavior because other people habitually stoop that low" would be at the same level  (low).


I have all these nifty fantasies of rape, violence, nonconsensual slavery, sexual harassment on the job, etc.  In reality if the partner I was with was genuinely not having a good time and wasn't just as much into having fun with these roles as I was, I'd lose my hardon for it in a hurry.  I don't necessarily need to have an established relationship to the point of really knowing and respecting someone I'm playing with, but I do need to know that they consent and that they are having a good time despite the fact that they may be struggling and protesting as part of the fantasy. 

Again, this isn't about "revenge on men" or anything like that.  I'm not mad at men.  I love them, every yummy inch of their bodies that are offered up for my enjoyment.  I'm not interested in for-real nonconsensually hurting men, or even making them uncomfortable or being undeservedly rude to them.   I just like what I like, and since there are men who like the same thing, we can play together and everybody wins. 


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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 9:38:18 AM   
rhpaw


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Is'nt this the type of Domme most subs are always dreaming about hopefully no one gets jealous or falls for someone.

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 10:21:21 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
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Status: offline
TM is always a great read.

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 11:23:29 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rhpaw

Is'nt this the type of Domme most subs are always dreaming about hopefully no one gets jealous or falls for someone.


Oddly enough, no, it's not.  The type of domme that  men dream up is more often sex-negative than not, and focused more on his fetishes than on her own orgasm.  Go figure. 


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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 11:36:41 AM   
marshalp


Posts: 94
Joined: 8/31/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

Oddly enough, no, it's not.  The type of domme that  men dream up is more often sex-negative than not, and focused more on his fetishes than on her own orgasm.  Go figure. 



Yep, our fallacy here is that we (men) believe that our (his) fetishes are exactly what she wants.
But let's not generalize here... this is what many sub males believe (the ones who get their idea of a fem domme from pron)

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 1:02:39 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer


I have all these nifty fantasies of rape, violence, nonconsensual slavery, sexual harassment on the job, etc.  In reality if the partner I was with was genuinely not having a good time and wasn't just as much into having fun with these roles as I was, I'd lose my hardon for it in a hurry.  I don't necessarily need to have an established relationship to the point of really knowing and respecting someone I'm playing with, but I do need to know that they consent and that they are having a good time despite the fact that they may be struggling and protesting as part of the fantasy. 

Again, this isn't about "revenge on men" or anything like that.  I'm not mad at men.  I love them, every yummy inch of their bodies that are offered up for my enjoyment.  I'm not interested in for-real nonconsensually hurting men, or even making them uncomfortable or being undeservedly rude to them.   I just like what I like, and since there are men who like the same thing, we can play together and everybody wins. 



This so rings true for me.  Finding that balance can be very challenging and in its purest forms exists only in my fantasies: That is, a man who surrenders and is vulnerable, and suffers, because he's been seduced or forced or objectified but it's what he wants.  In reality, this is a mere impossibility in its "purest" form, but is a very hot and attainable roleplay.  Or, there are some delicious men that crave the fear that comes from many aspects of this.

However, I will never be able to truly objectify, use, coerce (against his will), or enslave and change a man the way I do in my fantasies.  But in my fantasies, even the ones that are non-consensual, the man has some affection for the woman (in the end) and the woman, despite being cruel and sadistic, has some adoration for the man.  Even if it's an underlying theme. I have fantasies of torture and unthinkable acts; but in them, the man is still portrayed (think in terms of a movie or tv show) as a hero, not as a pathetic loser.  In my mind's eye, when a man is totally degraded, he's still gorgeous and beautiful.  Even in my darkest of dark fantasies, the male victim is never the 'pathetic worthless worm' that is portrayed and made famous in the gazillions of femdom porn flicks (made by men, for men).  Nothing could be further from the truth!

I feel like my cruel, sadistic side is totally side-by-side with my moral side, my ethical side, and my side that worships and adores ANY man willing to suffer to please my 'inner beast.'  It's a mutual admiration, a mutual affection.  Even when he's licking the dirt off the bottom of my shoe - my heart is melting inside.  I have to work hard to keep the cool, cruel exterior.  The more he can embrace and endure his total humiliation, and accept it with grace and (some) dignity, the more he's a creature to be in awe of.  This sort of paradox just turns my world upside down and is better than crack cocaine.

Akasha


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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 1:07:31 PM   
cathyanne2003


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/26/2009
Status: offline 		well i am looking for that level of slavery for me but i need a local mistress in central ny

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 2:07:06 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: rhpaw

Is'nt this the type of Domme most subs are always dreaming about hopefully no one gets jealous or falls for someone.


Oddly enough, no, it's not.  The type of domme that  men dream up is more often sex-negative than not, and focused more on his fetishes than on her own orgasm.  Go figure. 



For what it's worth, I agree with marshalp - this is probably more about taking cues from unrealistic femdom porn than just dreaming things up. Maybe it's also partly about transposing the traditional idea that only women are supposed to worry about making themselves sexually desirable (fairly objectionable in itself, of course) into a femdom context, however ridiculous that concept seems when you really sit down and think about it. I suspect it's because of my penchant for sitting down and thinking that I largely avoided ever slipping into this mindset. The idea that a women who had genuine power would use it first and foremost to pander to people under her control always just seemed - well, illogical.

Anyway, your posts (and those of some of the other ladies on these forums) are probably a really good antidote to the kind of porn that encourages stereotypical, sex-negative views of dominant women. Every time you write about what really makes you tick, and what you like to see in a submissive, you provide a clear, authentic alternative to the stereotypical portrayals. Thanks for helping to educate us "dildo handles"!

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 2:28:32 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Objectify me! Please, I beg you :) Care to try mummification for some extend Objectification :)





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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 2:34:20 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		No.

- LA

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 2:38:45 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Objectify me! Please, I beg you :) Care to try mummification for some extend Objectification :)


Honestly, no.  Or, pay me to do it for you.  What you want is somebody to cater to your fetish, and catering to your fetish has nothing whatsoever to do with making you an object for my pleasure.  Do you understand that you are not offering up anything, you are asking for something that you want?

It's fine for you to have a fetish for mummification.  But y'know what, I don't happen to have the same fetish, so asking me to do that is *asking me to cater to you*.  That has jack and shit to do with the sexual objectification of the male by the female, so I suggest you go start your own thread about mummification as it's totally off topic in this one. 


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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 2:50:02 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		My appologies if this post offended you. It was not intended that way. I in no way expected you take the post literially (read any of my posts, most are jesting fun). Obviously my ideas and your ideas do not match.

I do on the other hand enjoy objectification and think it is fun. Even without mummification :)

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 2:56:45 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

My appologies if this post offended you. It was not intended that way. I in no way expected you take the post literially (read any of my posts, most are jesting fun). Obviously my ideas and your ideas do not match.

I do on the other hand enjoy objectification and think it is fun. Even without mummification :)


There's something else you need to keep in mind though.  I'm about as far into bondage as a woman can get - it's a huge fetish of mine, including all kinds of confinement.  So I am clearly in the "target market" of a man seeking to be objectified this way.   But given the option to do that to someone who just offered it to me (even in jest, perhaps, as an icebreaker) is going to turn me off.  Why? Because I know the man isn't interested in me, he's interested in his fetish, and I'm a provider and nothing more.

Women like me who enjoy bondage probably need to really, really like the guy first. Or, he has to be incredibly GOOD LOOKING** or offer some other tangible benefit.  Ie, something that makes me want him first and foremost almost instantly.  Instant chemistry. 

Akasha

** "good looking" is totally subjective, and, of course, can vary from woman to woman - so it's also a crapshoot.

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 5/10/2010 2:57:35 PM >

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 4:25:10 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

My appologies if this post offended you. It was not intended that way. I in no way expected you take the post literially (read any of my posts, most are jesting fun). Obviously my ideas and your ideas do not match.


What you did was the same thing that hundreds of other "submissive" guys do all the time, you bugged a domme to be your fetish provider. You did this on a thread that I started for dominant women to talk about making men cater to *their* fetishes for a change. Can you see why that might not go over so well?


quote:

I do on the other hand enjoy objectification and think it is fun. Even without mummification :)


The point of this thread is not what you enjoy and want us to do to you, but what dominant women actually enjoy for themselves, selfishly and without being concerned for the moment with any other person's needs. Specifically, without being bugged to cater to another person's needs. The discussion is about women being dominant and consensually making the submissive male into an object solely to cater to our needs and desires, not the other way around.

If you aren't interested in that topic, if all you can do is talk about how you want us to be your fetish providers, at least have the courtesy not to do it where we're taking some time to focus on what we want and not on what you want. We're freaking innundated with that shit all day and six times on Sundays, and it gets old fast.

It's a free society, so you can still try to make it all about you and your fetishes if you want, even if you're just joking. Just don't expect us to appreciate it too much.

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RE: The sexual objectification of men - 5/10/2010 5:14:31 PM   
perfectflaw00


Posts: 96
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		shouldn't the submissive derive their pleasure from the very fact that they are playing a part in what the dominant women enjoys. My view point is that the women's enjoyment is paramount with my own being secondary, imposing my fetishes/kinks on a dominant partner just doesn't seem very submissive.

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