When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You?

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When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 7:29:42 AM

knees2you

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When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You?

When I first realized that I was Submissive
when I was about 10 years old,
It wasn't untill I was about 37 that I realized
that Me being Submissive could really stand for something.

That's when I knew that I was going to be Very Happy.
Thus being my Defining Moment.

quote:

"don't give the devil a ride, he'll want to drive."

Always, Ant

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 7:32:29 AM

Tikkiee

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quote:

When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You?

The first time I felt his hand on my backside, and realized that I liked it. For me though, it's all S&M, we don't bother with the D/s aspects at all.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 7:35:13 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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I know when I realized what all this was had a name- Nov 98, I was 18 and online looking for cybersex and fell into a bdsm chat room.

But I'd tried to get my partners to force me down, I'd tied myself up, I'd even browsed bondage and fetish photography books. It had just never dawned on me that this might REALLY be something I could have in my life.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 7:47:49 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I know when I realized what all this was had a name- Nov 98, I was 18 and online looking for cybersex and fell into a bdsm chat room.

But I'd tried to get my partners to force me down, I'd tied myself up, I'd even browsed bondage and fetish photography books. It had just never dawned on me that this might REALLY be something I could have in my life.

Same for me. I'd say when I was over seas and my boyfriend (who became my spouse) sent me some stories and information he found online and a note that said "This is what we've been doing!". That was fall 1990.

Before then it didn't have a "name" it was just the way I was.

Over the course of the next few years I understood that this vanilla stuff was like dress-up and pretend for me. Being dominant was where I felt myself and felt comfortable and relaxed. For me, this is "natural" though I am not claiming any such thing for anyone else.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 7:49:16 AM

NyxNymph

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I was about 8, and a boy punched me at school, and I liked it.. I thought I was nuts.. wonder of the internet when I was about 12 I learned what bdsm was and decided it would be what I'd do "when I grew up".. I ended up getting involved with the "bad group of kids" in high school, most of whom were starting to toy with the ideas of bdsm and how it really worked. I met my Man when I was 15 and we've been together since and it just became a part of what we are, there was no concious "hey lets have a D/s relationship" it was just that we didn't want to do it any other way. I've never had a 'nilla life, it's just always been a part of Me.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 8:04:03 AM

MsIncognito

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quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You?

I would have to say never. BDSM is simply one aspect of my life. It does not define me or how I live my life. I've had some incredible moments in BDSM that will stay with me for ever and likely will have more as I explore further but even so, I don't feel it defines me. No one aspect of my life is so all encompassing that it defines my existence.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 8:09:58 AM

Moloch

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I was also 10 when it dawned on me when I was "abused" by a girl, didnt really come to terms with it untill I was 22.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 8:32:38 AM

champagnewishes

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When i was 21 and shed my sexual inhibitions.

When i was 25 and realized a deeper understanding beyond the physical play.

When i was 40 and realized i had found a portal that could take me places i had never known. And every day since, as i discover a deeper understanding with each new experience.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 8:37:36 AM

Guest

As always, please keep in mind the TOS when answering this question. I would hate to have to break up a potentially good thread. Have fun!

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 9:10:11 AM

PrinceSitri

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I used to play spanking games with my playmates when I was a child but I suppose the defining moment came when I was in my late teens, read the The Story of O and realised that I wasn't the only person harbouring these fantasies.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 12:39:46 PM

Sensualips

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Hmm, I am not sure I had a defining moment. More of a gradual evolution with some turning points along the way.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 12:42:31 PM

SirKenin

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I knew most of My life that I was different. However, there was a definitive moment two years ago where the lights suddenly went on and I found out there really was a name for the way I was and there were thousands and thousands of people just like Me. What a big day for Me.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 1:50:21 PM

slavejali

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Ive played with bondage since I was a kid, playing cowboys and indians, getting captured etc lol...first marriage had kinky sex, blind folds, bondage, loss of control, I even got walked along the street on a leash, no recognition of bdsm then though, didnt know the word submissive. It was in my late 20's when I first got exposed to the concept of bdsm, it made a lot of feelings I had throughout my life make sense, also made sense of the situations I had gotten myself into which werent so good for me..I can relate to the happiness you've found...i think it was around that time when I discovered a really amazing happiness too.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 2:16:02 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You?

I used the term "master" before I knew what it meant to me or what, exactly BDSM entailed. I remember the snail mail correspondence I had when I was first contacted by the man who became my first Master. He asked me about 100 questions and I swear, I didn't know what half the words meant. Looking back, the list was pretty tame actually. ::chuckles:: I knew I wanted and craved control. Before training, I thought that control was mine to direct. Then I received his letter and there was a single line in there which, when I read it, everything fell into place. Before I read it, it was.. me me me me me..

Ok, now you blindfold me. Now you make me cum. Now you call me this name or that name.. do me, do me, pull my hair.. where's the pirates?? .. .. la la la, do me some more. ::chuckles::

After I read it.. my power, in a single line of written text, was drained in an instant such was the force and impact those words had on me. I don't remember the date and time I read that, but somewhere around April of '82 because I had placed the ad on my birthday and it was that to which he responded but it led to my first r/t encounter which was July 3, 1982. I knocked on his door, at 4:50 PM in the afternoon and never, ever looked back at vanilla life again. The moment which defined me as far as BDSM, was the moment I read that line in the letter. What cemented the fantasy and brought it full force into reality was that moment after I knocked on his door and belonged, utterly and completely to him.

Celeste

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 3:25:17 PM

TxBadMan

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quote:

When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You?

When I realized I could make a woman scream for mercy at the strike of a hand across her bare bottom.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 4:41:00 PM

Arpig

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never did become a "defining moment". I am a person who happens to be a dominant, not a dominant who happens to be a person

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 5:12:54 PM

SirCumsSlut

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I have been sub all my life...growing up youngest of 7 and the oldest being old enough to be my dad.....I always made sure I did what what my family wanted of me........

When I was 34 a wonderful door opened and gave a name to the person inside me..........Master entered my life........at 42 I became a whole person when Sir began my slave training..........

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 5:49:16 PM

mongo44

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Well, I've never topped anyone but my Daisy, and when she first asked me to spank her 10 years ago, I didn't know what to think.

But I've always been a "doer", I'd rather give than receive, and when I looked into her eyes, heard her moans, watched her squirm, it all clicked in a big way.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 5:55:23 PM

scratchingpost

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There was never a time in my life that I recall where I wasnt into "kink" I remember when I was 19 and married to a very dominant man, and his mother said to me, "why don't you tell him to get off his ass and do it himself" (referring to one of the little things I loved doing for him and I said "because it is not my place" ....no wait that came later...I was 14 years old and I was in the hospital and my then crush said "you will be fine pain builds character" for the entire hospital stay I refused to take even a tylenol because I wanted to endure the pain for him.

Later I helped some people on their journey into submission, and that is where I found my dominant calling. I have always been group leader and chosen to run things at home and school as well as work but it didn't occur to me that I was dominant I thought I was slave because it gave them great releif and joy that I was helpful...When I realized I was more dominant in naure that defining moment was when I had my slave on a cross at a local dungeon and for the first time, I got sexually aroused by controlling him, beating him, taunting him. I fought it for a long time after that I didnt want to accept being dominant and all the responsability that went with it for it was far easier to serve and I enjoyed every moment of it, but it simply wasn't who I was and I had to grow into my role.

I confused being somewhat masochistic as being submissive. I confused enjoying making others happy by taking the responsability off their hands and "controlling" things to make their lives happier and easier as being slave. My boy actually pointed it out to me and I rather enjoy my life a lot more this way. The added responsability in a sense makes my life a lot less complicated and I had to learn that his care for me (encouraging me to not work so hard and to rest because he really wants to make my life more pleasing) wasn't topping from the bottom but rather his desire to take care of and pamper his Mistress. (a word I am still learning to adjust to when in reference to myself) Life is a journey and growing experience and I am fortunate to be able to do so and not limit myself.

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RE: When did Bdsm become a defining moment for You? - 4/7/2006 7:58:53 PM

sweetbbwsub31

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When i was spanked into an orgasm and learned that i could go to a whole other place that i thought was only in my dreams. i was 30.

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