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sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 8:20:56 AM   
subartist


Posts: 43
Joined: 8/31/2007
Status: offline 		This one is a question for the sub women, from a sub boy...  Would you ever be friends with a sub boy?  And I mean friends, perhaps affectionate and close, but not sexual, as much as he might want it to be.  I met a woman once who had described a friendship dynamic she had once had with a boy, who she described as being like her little puppy dog.  She was a sub, and there was a Dom man whom she belonged to.  And her sub friend definitely had a crush on her, but she just told him that she was only attracted to dominant men, and she would openly talk to him about her Dom.  And he was like her friend who wished he could be with her sexually, but never could.  She told me that later she would try to meet another sub boy to be her friend, trying to recreate this dynamic.  And there was another boy who she would hang out with, and she would even let him do simple chores for her, like a Domme might, letting him wash her car for her, and do some cleaning.  But all the while she had a Dom, and she was a sub.

I'm curious what sub women think about this kind of dynamic.  It fascinates me, and is somehow appealing.  Like cuckoldry, but different.  I read a really interesting article recently online, by a woman, and written for other women (and surely for curious sub boys like me to read too), but it was a guide on how to get a sub boy to be your "friend," in a similar kind of dynamic.  Very interesting...
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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 8:30:18 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
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From: Quietville
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quote:

I met a woman once who had described a friendship dynamic she had once had with a boy, who she described as being like her little puppy dog.
No...not at all. If i want a friend, that is what i look for. If i want a puppy, i'll go to the Humane Society.

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 8:30:47 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		A true friend? Why not? If I'm not having sex with them then what they like sexually doesn't matter to me. In the dynamic you describe, no way. She was using him to do stuff for her, manipulating him all the while knowing she wasn't giving anything back. So what did he get for this 'friendship'? And users by definition aren't friends.

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 8:32:53 AM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		I think I would feel guilty if I were the sub woman in this scenario, which wouldn't be good for me. Would the sub boy be actively looking for a Mistress or truly holding out hope that the sub woman would take him as a lover?

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 8:37:07 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
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Status: offline 		Absolutely.

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 8:39:03 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I met a woman once who had described a friendship dynamic she had once had with a boy, who she described as being like her little puppy dog.
No...not at all. If i want a friend, that is what i look for. If i want a puppy, i'll go to the Humane Society.



And then you would feed it and then it would die. How is this humane?

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 8:40:40 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I met a woman once who had described a friendship dynamic she had once had with a boy, who she described as being like her little puppy dog.
No...not at all. If i want a friend, that is what i look for. If i want a puppy, i'll go to the Humane Society.



And then you would feed it and then it would die. How is this humane?
that fatal dose of meatloaf would have him dying with a smile on his face...


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MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 8:49:46 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		It sounds to me as though they were both engaging in a dynamic. He was submitting to her, and she was domming him....

No, it would not work for me because I would see it for what it was and I wouldn't like someone manipulating me into being their dom.... she liked it though, so perhaps she is switchy?


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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 9:07:56 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		It seems to me he's clear that they were both honest, so I don't know where manipulating or "seeing it for what it was" is relevant?

If the question is would I be friends with a male sub--while both are honest in what that means--then my answer is absolutely. I already am.

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 9:08:26 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Would you ever be friends with a sub boy?...I'm curious what sub women think about this kind of dynamic.


this slave counts as friends some guys that are submissive to their relationship partners, however, if they actively attempted to engage this slave in the dynamic you describe in your post it would cause her anxiety and nausea...so she would ask them to stop...or she would stop considering them a friend.

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 9:22:12 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

It seems to me he's clear that they were both honest, so I don't know where manipulating or "seeing it for what it was" is relevant?

If the question is would I be friends with a male sub--while both are honest in what that means--then my answer is absolutely. I already am.


I personalized it to ME feeling like I was being manipulated. For ME it would feel manipulative because I am not switchy. I did not say she was manipulated. The original post asked how we would feel in the same circumstances, I wasn't judging the people involved. Whatever floats a boat

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 5/14/2010 9:23:03 AM >

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 9:27:32 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
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Status: offline 		Gotcha.

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 12:17:44 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		subartist,

quote:

I'm curious what sub women think about this kind of dynamic.


While it may work for others, it would be out of line for me. The activities described come very close to being acts of service, which is fine if the individual is involved with myself and my partner, or at the very least we have an agreement in place. If they're acts of friendship, I'd better have a good reason why this person is pitching in. Meaning, something interferes with my ability to get it done, I'm ill, or we're compensating the individual in some way. It isn't the act that's the big issue, but the continuity of it being performed. Especially if the volunteer harbors inappropriate ideas or has any measure of interest.

There's a chain of command in place and I'm not the headline feature. I would never accept this without my partner's consent. Nor would I agree to his help if he desired more. Perhaps the people mentioned are comfortable with the arrangement, but I wouldn't feel the same.

~porcelaine


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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 12:53:02 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Hell if my friends want to clean my house for me, regardless of role, I'm not going to say no!

I have friends because their personalities mesh with mine and they are positive additions to my life and I to theirs. Their sexual orientation/role is irrelevant. I hold my friends in pretty high regard, they aren't puppies.

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 1:36:41 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		As long as they are cleaning... have em see to the ironing too!

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 1:40:27 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

As long as they are cleaning... have em see to the ironing too!


Oh no Jeffffffff that's all ours, it's our 'special time'.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/14/2010 1:54:11 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		It's the apron I really object too.

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/15/2010 3:27:26 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		I do have many sub male friends, and since I do tend to be relatively dominant in my social, vanilla friendships, I more often than not find myself in this dynamic.  The boy may be interested in me, but he knows I am only interested in dominant friends.  However, sub boys make great friends for a sub girl, simply because one can have a lot in common, can be each others references and safety nets, etc.
Also...I'm a girl.  I love having a guy do something sweet for me, friend or otherwise, so yes, its lovely when one of my male friends (who may or may not also be a sub), decides he is going to wash my car for me, or take me somewhere.
The problem can come if the friend wants something more than friendship, which does tend to happen.  This is why I particularly enjoy having homosexual male sub friends...that way I get all the friend, without having to worry about the rest!


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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/15/2010 6:03:59 PM   
subartist


Posts: 43
Joined: 8/31/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FetishRose

I do have many sub male friends, and since I do tend to be relatively dominant in my social, vanilla friendships, I more often than not find myself in this dynamic.  The boy may be interested in me, but he knows I am only interested in dominant friends.  However, sub boys make great friends for a sub girl, simply because one can have a lot in common, can be each others references and safety nets, etc.
Also...I'm a girl.  I love having a guy do something sweet for me, friend or otherwise, so yes, its lovely when one of my male friends (who may or may not also be a sub), decides he is going to wash my car for me, or take me somewhere.
The problem can come if the friend wants something more than friendship, which does tend to happen.  This is why I particularly enjoy having homosexual male sub friends...that way I get all the friend, without having to worry about the rest!



Ah, I think that in this dynamic, its a given that the sub guy wishes it was more than friendship.  You just have to smile, and say no...

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RE: sub boy as "friend," not boyfriend - 5/15/2010 6:09:28 PM   
DaddysInkedSlut


Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline 		I have several submissive male freinds. It doesn't change our dynamics one bit. We freinds because we click and share common ground not because of a single label we may share.

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