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So how DO you approach a sub?

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ORIGINAL: realcoolhand
I don't think you need to worry TOO much that I'll forget to approach a woman as a woman; and by self-identifying as submissive, submissive women have done the grouping. What I need is a little insight into how that self-identifying group works. As a dominant man, it's not exactly second nature to me. Thanks!

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth 'read'/'wannabe'

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ORIGINAL: realcoolhand

I most emphatically do NOT want to get into a pissing contest over this, but I've begun to notice in this thread a phenomenon that I've observed in several others, which could be described as "beat up the straw-man OP" syndrome.

So far, I've gotten a lot of serious, sincere, insightful replies, and almost as many replies which suggest that (1) I don't know what I'm talking about

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth 'read'/'wannabe'

because (2) there is really no such thing as a "submissive" type.

First of all, please don't slam me simply because I'm young and inexperienced, and I've had the temerity to ask when I don't know. After all, I've gone out on a limb here, and have extended the other posters the same courtesy.

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ORIGINAL: laurell3 Good luck to you!

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ORIGINAL: realcoolhand

I most emphatically do NOT want to get into a pissing contest over this, but I've begun to notice in this thread a phenomenon that I've observed in several others, which could be described as "beat up the straw-man OP" syndrome.

So far, I've gotten a lot of serious, sincere, insightful replies, and almost as many replies which suggest that (1) I don't know what I'm talking about

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth 'read'/'wannabe'

because (2) there is really no such thing as a "submissive" type.

First of all, please don't slam me simply because I'm young and inexperienced, and I've had the temerity to ask when I don't know. After all, I've gone out on a limb here, and have extended the other posters the same courtesy.

Second of all, I am not persuaded that there is not a submissive type simply because there are indisputably important differences between individual subs, or because submission can be expressed in various ways. For example, if asked to describe a chair in general terms, I might answer that it has a back, four legs, and can be used as a seat. I would not be persuaded that the concept of a "chair" is meaningless merely because someone points out that a bar stool has three legs, no back, and can be used to fend off the OP.

And by way of providing a little context, there are no clubs, munches, or other opportunities to interact in real time with like-minded folks in our small southern city, and because of my work it is very, very difficult for us to find time to travel. There should be more opportunities for casual, real time interactions in a few years if, as planned, we move to San Francisco, but in the meantime I'm afraid that we're largely limited to CM and other similar fora. Because of self-selection, because of the ability to describe preferences in one's profile, and because of the relative anonymity the internet affords, we will usually know whether the woman we are approaching identifies as a slave/submissive/switch, and probably also know a good deal about what that means to her.

I have very much appreciated almost all of the responses so far, and with all that on the table would love to continue this conversation. I'd love to hear back from folks with more than a little realtime experience, particular in poly D/s, but believe firmly that even those who, like us, are just starting out can offer valuable perspective.

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ORIGINAL: realcoolhand

For example, if asked to describe a chair in general terms, I might answer that it has a back, four legs, and can be used as a seat. I would not be persuaded that the concept of a "chair" is meaningless merely because someone points out that a bar stool has three legs, no back, and can be used to fend off the OP.

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

As soon as someone approached me as if they were writing a letter to the masses or filling our a job application they were deleted unanswered.
His letter only had about four sentences to it. Those four sentences conveyed his personality and things that were strong and confident and attractive about him. I was hooked from the first word.
Just as he had the ability to hook me at the first word, 99.9 % of the other messages I received made me realize that they'd never get beyond the first word right at the first word. For me there is an instant click.
Don't know why.

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ORIGINAL: realcoolhand

Second of all, I am not persuaded that there is not a submissive type simply because there are indisputably important differences between individual subs, or because submission can be expressed in various ways.

And by way of providing a little context, there are no clubs, munches, or other opportunities to interact in real time with like-minded folks in our small southern city,

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

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ORIGINAL: realcoolhand

Second of all, I am not persuaded that there is not a submissive type simply because there are indisputably important differences between individual subs, or because submission can be expressed in various ways.

And by way of providing a little context, there are no clubs, munches, or other opportunities to interact in real time with like-minded folks in our small southern city,

TRANSLATION

I have no experience with chairs other than my own but I am going to tell people who have seen stools, greek and roman chairs without legs, art chairs, frank loyd wright chairs that are unusable, etc that I know every bit as much about chairs as they do.

I get my ass spoiled on a level few men believe possible by women who were other people's dominants or "bad" submissives. .

In general, my way of "purseing" women is to send them off into the bdsm world and if they stay, they aren't for me. If they turn around and come back, we can talk.