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Rastimmipitwax -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/15/2010 8:10:56 PM)
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Unless these particular people are just individuals who have a more highly developed business maturity than emotional maturity, which is altogether quite common, they are simply inexperienced with having nonsexual relationships with women. This is their emotional problem, not a defining characteristic of heterosexual men in general.
I can say without even hedging slightly that there are many kinds of close relationships I have had with women:
* women I like as people but am not the slightest bit attracted to physically
This does not necessarily mean ugly, there are just certain things that I don't go for. Like, for example, way taller than me, which is not too hard as I am fairly short as men go.
* women I consider attractive and interesting but who posses certain non-physical ... attributes ... that make them uninteresting in a sexual way to me, including lesbians (what's the point?), Dommes & the like (sorry, not in the least bit submissive here), switches (again, not submissive, and not willing to share either, 1:1 only for me), those why are or try to be overly masculine for whatever reason, and so on.
I have plenty of friends who fall into this category, maybe your acquaintances just want to fuck anything with two legs and no dick?
* woman who are "taken", whom I would not consider in any sexual way unless for some reason they became no longer taken, and I would not contribute to such a state. Even when I have been sought out for advice regarding the relationship, I always tend towards the "try to make it work" kind of advice unless there is serious mistreatment of some sort going on, or an obvious, glaring incompatibility. Even if I were to find myself in a situation where I had advised a woman to get out of a relationship, I would feel wrong about pursuing something with her for quite some time afterwards, or allowing her to pursue same with me. I just can't feel a sexual attraction in that sort of situation.
* women I genuinely find attractive sexually, to one degree or another. Few of whom generally reciprocate, although I have had my share of relationships over the years. To be honest I think I have done better than a lot, considering how much I watch the musical beds game of life and see so much that I want no part of.
All in all, I would have to say that of my close female friends, less than 5% of them are people I have any inclination to sexual activity with, and I spend quite a lot more time with women than men outside the workplace where I don't choose the people I associate with.
One question: Do your associates really have any sort of close, intellectual relationships with women, even you? Do you have intense conversations with them on philosophical subjects, or do they always turn the dialogue towards relationships and related topics? Perhaps the issue is not whether "heterosexual males" can't have relationships with women they aren't attracted to, but whether "heterosexual male sexaholics with something to prove" can't have relationships with women they aren't attracted to. Or to step a little over the line, do they all have expensive cars, large boats, larger houses, and conversely small penises and ED?
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