RE: A question for heterosexual men (Full Version)

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auditguy -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/22/2010 11:17:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
That's pretty unfortunate actually.

- LA


Agreed, but what can you do?  That's the kind of psychological, neurological and chemical reactions which are tough to change.



atursvcMaam -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 1:18:14 AM)

Hmmmm,
     I can't say the only reason that i develop a friendship with a woman is because i desire to bed her or more, the thought of how things might turn out in that situation has almost always been a thought, no matter how fleeting it might be.  I can't think of a time where i have had such a thought about a male friend.
      I don't know if that answers your question, or puts anyone's mind at ease.  I am quite faithful, but my mind is not above wandering into a lady friend's arms, or bed. 



heartcream -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 1:41:58 AM)

I have many men friends, deep meaningful relationships that are not sexual. I dont cross lines with men who already have someone but I will be friends with them. People I am attracted to are hot. Their brains, hearts bodies and souls are hot. I like those kind of people. Someone I can have a real talk with, who I feel connected to. Those are the kinds of people, male and female who are my friends.

I am like pyro, I am looking for one person. One person to begin a long term thing with is my dream and my goal.

I like getting deep with people and those kinds of people are sexy to me. I love them, I dont sleep with them. I might hang myself around their neck or sit in their lap or get them to sit in mine. I love being physical but I know the diff between being physical and sex. So I dont have sex with them but I think they are really hot. I am glad for them when they get with someone who makes them happy.




pahunkboy -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 4:09:25 AM)

I agree.  Pyro is cool.   :-)



LadyAngelika -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 7:21:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: auditguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
That's pretty unfortunate actually.

- LA


Agreed, but what can you do?  That's the kind of psychological, neurological and chemical reactions which are tough to change.


You can work on yourself to have healthier relationships, for one...

- LA



SocratesNot -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 7:27:54 AM)

quote:

Alright, het men, I'm looking for your perspectives.

A week ago, I was sitting with a bunch of men I know in a "business social" or networking context and later in the evening, the conversation changed to relationships. They all went on about how no heterosexual man will be friends with a woman he doesn't want to bed or more.

Of course, I interjected mentioning that one of my best friends is a heterosexual man and another really good friend of mine who I share a lot with is a straight man as well. They all laughed and told me I was blind. They assured me that if those guys weren't into me, my situation would be an extremely rare situation.

Are these guys bang on? Or am I the exception (I guess twice)? Or is this all macho nonsense and a man can have a meaningful with a woman he has no desire to be with? Be honest with yourselves and me, please.

- LA


Without reading whole thread and previous responses, my response is:

Yes, it is possible for a heterosexual man to be a friend with a woman he is not sexually attracted to. However, in most cases, he will be somewhat attracted to her, and wouldn't mind to have sex with her only if she wanted it or circumstances allowed it.
If a woman is beautiful, I think that every heterosexual man is sexually attracted to her, because heterosexual men tend to be attracted sexually to all beautiful women, and also, they wouldn't mind sleeping with them if circumstances permitted.

So if you are beautiful, your heterosexual friends are most likely attracted to you sexually to a certain extent.



SL4V3M4YB3 -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 8:34:37 AM)

Anything is possible it depends on the people and the people.

On the whole if it's a kind of unrequited love situation then distance makes it easier to cope than seeing them every day as friends. Then there are those types that had a sexual relationship at some stage but have moved beyond it.



auditguy -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 10:15:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

You can work on yourself to have healthier relationships, for one...

- LA


Ahh, it always comes down to the thinking that if I am romantically interested in the person, then I would rather spend the time trying to attract her then befriend her.  I already got enough friends.  It might actually not be that bad in the end.



LadyAngelika -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 12:04:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: auditguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

You can work on yourself to have healthier relationships, for one...

- LA


Ahh, it always comes down to the thinking that if I am romantically interested in the person, then I would rather spend the time trying to attract her then befriend her.  I already got enough friends.  It might actually not be that bad in the end.


Firstly, you are the one who wrote:

quote:

if I am romantically (or physically for that matter) interested in the girl, I do not feel like we can be friends.


I wasn't taking about romance. I was talking about relationships.

Most of my relationships with people are not romantic but rather planotic. I call these people friends and acquaintances. If I have a lover, my relationship with him will be friendship/sexual but not romantic. If I have a partner, it will be romantic.

There are many combinations in the world, but bottom line is my panties don't come off for someone I don't want to be friends with.

- LA



LadyAngelika -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 12:07:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
So if you are beautiful, your heterosexual friends are most likely attracted to you sexually to a certain extent.


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Based on the comments I read on that thread, that comment apparently isn't necessarily true.

- LA



AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 12:17:38 PM)

I hear this sentiment a lot and I think some people just aren't seeing the reality.

Instead of asking a man if he would be friends witha woman that he didn't want to sleep with, instead ask him how many of his female friends would he NEVER sleep with. You will get a very different view of the reality of things.

I will admit that before I was married I was not too keen on the idea of women as friends, mostly because most of the time I was sexually frustrated and the idea of being friends with someone you wanted to sleep with seemed self torture. It wasn't that I didn't think that they weren't worth being friends with it was the idea that ONLY being friends with them would present me with more frustration.

I am sure many women in here have hetrosexual male friends but I would seperate them between single and married and newly dating and committedly dating and then ask them all group by group if they would consider having sex with the "Friend" It is my belief that the majority of the single men would say that they would indeed engage in sexual activities with the female "Friend" this does not mean that is the only reason that they are friends but it does mean that they do not draw the line at ONLY being friends.

In the end I love women, big, small, beautiful, homely, all women are in some way intriguing to me and yes I will openly admit that I am very fond of sex and usually would have sex with just about any female friend I have. This does not mean that I cannot be friends with them it simply means that I am always willing to be more than friends with them where as I believe that women draw much firmer lines and are far more scrutinizing than men are about who they will sleep with and who they don't even see as a possible special mate.

QSM



LadyAngelika -> RE: A question for heterosexual men (5/23/2010 12:32:50 PM)

I appreciate your input QSM, but I'd say your generalizations further complicate things. I was quite satisfied a few pages back when there seemed to be a consensus about the level of maturity of the men involved as well as the observation that groups tend to bring out the machismo elements in many men.

- LA



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