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living again? - 5/16/2010 11:44:17 PM   
indigowings36


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		i am 40 yr old female...
mother of two..
widow of Master..
can  i live again?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: living again? - 5/16/2010 11:53:21 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		If you choose to, yes.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to indigowings36)
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RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 12:50:36 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Yes of course. If you have minor children, it is your duty. I suggest a grief support group, and anything else you all need- such as maybe some individual therapy, or family therapy, to help you all get through the stages of grief.

Everyone dies. But you're not dead, yet. Get it together- your kids need you to light the way for them.

Good luck! You'll do fine, as long as you do your best. 

_____________________________

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RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 1:58:49 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, you can!

It wont feel like it sometimes, but yes.

I wish you well.

(in reply to indigowings36)
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RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 2:02:52 AM   
warlock1935


Posts: 66
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Hell Yes. As a previous poster said, you have to - you have kids. See your doctor if the depression gets too rough. And ... let us know how you're doing, OK? Yeah, we're ruff, tuff Domly types, ... and we care about you.
~~Warlock

(in reply to crazyml)
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RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 3:41:35 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: indigowings36
i am 40 yr old female...
mother of two..
widow of Master..
can  i live again?

Yep.

Do not take medication against depression: it will cause far more trouble than it solves. Grieve is a natural process.

Good luck!

(in reply to indigowings36)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 3:47:18 AM   
GoddessImaginos


Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline 		Warlock's comment was right on. Some of us are actually real people who give a damn. you *must * choose whether or not you can live again, and I agree that you really *must* do so for the sake of your children. I am a wife and mother also, and I send you blessings of limitless light and love to help sustain you through this dark and difficult time. The sun is coming up outside even as I type this. The sun will come up for you also. Be well, dear.


_____________________________

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RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 4:22:08 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Grief is a natural process however people have been known to get stuck in the cycle. You don't say how long ago it was. If it was five years, and you still can't find any joy, then find a grief therapist, get assessed for depression, take the medication if warranted.

If this just happened, then be good to yourself, love your children. And make sure you understand that children grieve differently than adults, however they also may need help as time goes on.

You and yours have my condolences.


_____________________________

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 5:25:38 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		There's a grieving process.  It depends on where you are in it.  But you need to get through it, and after that you will live again.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 8:45:48 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
If you choose to, yes.
*applause*

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 9:13:32 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: indigowings36

i am 40 yr old female...
mother of two..
widow of Master..
can  i live again?

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

You're living now.

Everything changes. All things, good and bad, change and move on.

You don't have to deal with forever. Just today. And many good things, large and small, are in your life as well.

Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.

Good luck.

(in reply to indigowings36)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 9:29:40 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
If you choose to, yes.
*applause*


it all boils down to choice, yes? for whatever reason.. kids/job/etc.. one must MAKE THE CHOICE.

(hugs to you and Carol)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 4:22:34 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Oh Lord, i hope so.

My Sir is dying, and i am caring for him. and i hate to think that its all over at 52.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 4:23:42 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: indigowings36

mother of two..



I'm very sorry for your loss indigowings. Your fate is sealed and you must live. I say that because I am also a mother. In time when this brutal pain is done with you you'll live again. Until then find support groups in your area that get together sharing and learning from each other.


(in reply to indigowings36)
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RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 4:48:45 PM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		He would order you to. If you loved him, you have to live. How can you honour him if you don't? It's not about just what you want is it?

(in reply to indigowings36)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 7:42:49 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Oh Lord, i hope so.

My Sir is dying, and i am caring for him. and i hate to think that its all over at 52.


kiwi, much light and love to you both.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 7:42:51 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: indigowings36

i am 40 yr old female...
mother of two..
widow of Master..
can  i live again?

First, Welcome to the Boards. Second, yes you will live again. It may not seem like it at first, but you will. Let yourself grieve at your own pace. Don't let anyone - and i mean anyone at all, no matter who they are - tell you you should be over it before you're ready. You will be over it in your own sweet arse time, when YOU are ready to be. And remember, there are lots of supportive people here to help you through it. When my Sir died last October, i could hardly believe all the support i received from these wonderful people here. i couldn't have lived through it without them. If you need to talk to someone about it, write to me on the other side. i will be very happy to listen. Lots of hugs to you.

~sweetsub~

< Message edited by sweetsub1957 -- 5/17/2010 7:44:33 PM >

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to indigowings36)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 7:46:26 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Oh Lord, i hope so.

My Sir is dying, and i am caring for him. and i hate to think that its all over at 52.

Warm wishes and hugs to you both.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 8:10:39 PM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		Hi indigo,

Are you going to come back and read the responses to your post? Will you tell us how you are? Some of us do worry.

I wish you'd ask a different question. Not "can I live again?". But "can I ever find happiness again?"

They are truly different questions. "Can I live again?" is devoid of hope: if you aren't alive, then you are dead. People stay dead. "Can I find happiness again?" is full of terrible grief. But if you are alive and grieving, it is possible to eventually search out and discover tiny bits of happiness. Eventually you may find bigger and bigger slices of happiness.

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]




(in reply to indigowings36)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: living again? - 5/17/2010 9:26:42 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I spent the first 2 months after Santa died wishing I could join him. It's been almost 5 months now and I've come out of the grief haze to a degree and I'm willing to look at how to live again. It takes time, supportive friends, grief counselling if you've never dealt with major grief before, and more time. Give yourself the time you need to recover and give your kids the time they need as well. Family grief therapy might be helpful in understanding yourself and your kid's grief processes. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to indigowings36)
Profile   Post #: 20
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