domrader
Posts: 12
Joined: 11/8/2009
Status: offline
|
Wow I waited too long to check this, but thank you everyone for all the input. And yes, I realize I need to have a little patience. Improvement is showing but I cannot expect it over night. I posted that in a moment of overwhelming frustration, not realizing that I would be putting our practices up for so much....scrutinization. But yes, next time I seek advice, I will try to be more forthcoming with information. I am the first true dominant she was tried to learn from and basically had no knowledge of the subject before we met. I am still wondering if I would truly call her submissive but I believe I see flashes of it from time to time, which in all actuality makes me more frustrated because I know its there, just not consistent. And she may only be sexually submissive and not submissive to the degree which I prefer, so yes compatibility does come up in my mind. I cannot truly tell if she is submissive because this is honestly my first time with a submissive who had less experience than I. Most of the times I talk with subs they already know their submissive side in a basic sense, she is still discovering hers. And if not submissive, I can tell she is at least a girl in need of some sort of guidance. She will admit that even herself. And as one not so subtle poster said it, she may not like me that much, especially because I have to enforce rules like staying home and doing homework instead of partying. So yes that is another aspect, she is immature too. And another poster said something about she may just want to play, that could very well be it. Part of the problem is she is not all the self aware, which is a big matter if one is trying to understand oneself. So here I must be a guide and help her learn herself. The main issue may be miscommunication. Which I think we could both be at fault for. But yes, I do question if the spirit of submission is there or not. Part of it is I am asking her to make what she sees as big lifestyle changes (the whole party less, find deeper interests thing), and she doesnt know me all that well. Submission may increase as her interest in me increases.
Lally, thank you for your great post.
DesFip: The decisions I make are ones like, get a good nights sleep, quit drinking so much, do homework. Its not a matter of smart decisions to her, its a matter of what she wants to do unfortunately.
Thank you LadyAngelika, I have the same sentiment towards that poster.
Thank you for the great post CaringandReal
I did not refer to her as an it, I referred to the problem or issue as it. But yes, the previous statement was not quite the tone I had intended to give out.
I am actually 22, I'm not sure why my profile isn't showing it right. And I would tend to agree with you in most cases DesFip. Most men my age are not ready for that. I dont know if I would call some of my friends my age even men. They dont know themselves well enough or other people for that matter. I feel am much more mature than most people my age however, which makes it tough for me to relate to most people my age. I tend to get obsessed with problems and attack them single mindedly. My biggest problem from the time I was 18 was me. Depression, self destructive habits, self esteem and confidence issues, all of that afflicted me. My performance in school and other areas of my life fell apart around that time. The point of that story is I tackled that problem really hard and I would look back on myself each year and think to myself "I cant believe I was like that" in a way that was almost disgust. This year was the first year I could look back at the previous year and not feel unhappy with who I was at that time and realize that I may have been finally reaching a period of more static development. I know that all sounds really logical and clinical and like I am a basket case of perfection, but I am not, that was just the short and sweet version. The main key (IMO) with being able to guide other people and make good decisions is self awareness and how well you know yourself, once you know yourself you can finally start learning what makes other people tick. When you can act as a moderator between your own two parents for conflict resolution, you realize that you may have hit a milestone.
|
RE: The stubborn submissive - 
Profile
Lot of great answers from the long time seers of CM so wont ad any advice here as the best has been given. But hope the OP finds his answer!
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread