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RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/19/2010 12:54:47 AM

jbcurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
I'ts the man who inspires my submissivness not the need to submit...someone who had such a lack of self respect would not be someone who inspired me to be submissive to him.
You only say that because you're not a true sub.

You can now officially join me and a bunch of others on the "Ask a Fake" board as soon as they get it all set up.

Lol, then I'm in good company... Yet for the Dom that inspires my submissivness... it's "truely" his.

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I have an explosive personality...

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Post #: 21

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/19/2010 1:01:46 AM

jbcurious

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Getting older, gaining a few pounds, getting comfortable.... are a far cry from alcoholism and obesity. In reality signs of an addictive personality are usually pretty clear if you pay attention and someone like that isn't someone I would be involved with in the first place.

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'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'

I have an explosive personality...

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Post #: 22

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/19/2010 2:51:29 AM

lobodomslavery

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If slaves are unhappy they are very sad individuals. Have they ever heard of leaving
kevin

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Post #: 23

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 5:58:30 PM

forsaken555

Posts: 39
Joined: 12/2/2009
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In the beginning i was in exactly such a situation, increasing unhappy with my master but for some reason, i felt so attached to him, i couldn't leave and was trying to leave, make myself detach from him. But that was a time where we were just master and slave and we never ever had human to human interaction. Tried talking to him many times as equals to vocalise my concerns and he'll shut me down and refuse to snap out of master mode. Circumstances happen which somehow made him decide to change his behaviour towards me when it dawn on him how bloody unhappy I was getting, when we were finally able to interact as two equal human beings, everything improved, and now I am happy.

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Post #: 24

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:08:25 PM

SocratesNot

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Joined: 5/17/2010
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quote:

In the beginning i was in exactly such a situation, increasing unhappy with my master but for some reason, i felt so attached to him, i couldn't leave and was trying to leave, make myself detach from him. But that was a time where we were just master and slave and we never ever had human to human interaction. Tried talking to him many times as equals to vocalise my concerns and he'll shut me down and refuse to snap out of master mode. Circumstances happen which somehow made him decide to change his behaviour towards me when it dawn on him how bloody unhappy I was getting, when we were finally able to interact as two equal human beings, everything improved, and now I am happy.

It's sad to hear such things. But I am glad you are now happy. That's why I so often point out to huge importance of egalitarianism.
If I knew about your suffering and if I was around I would be very tempted to beat the shit out of your master, if I could. If I couldn't I would call cops, or social workers.

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RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:22:07 PM

Jeffff

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I applaued your use of english.

I loath your thinking.

You really are fucking with us all....aren't you?

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Post #: 26

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:27:02 PM

Wolf2Bear

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Joined: 9/6/2009
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In your scenario, much depends on how deep of an emotional investment I have in him as a person first and as a dominant second. In a strictly service oriented D/s relationship, yes I would turn and walk away based on the fact that if he can not manage and control his own life and let it go to shit, then what's to say that won't affect our D/s relationship.

If there was more of an investment on my part, then yea I would take responsibility and try to help fix the problems which caused him to let himself go on a downward slide. Frankly it's the deep emotional connection which has a greater importance and more of a hold then a collar around my neck.

_____________________________

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Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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Post #: 27

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:30:30 PM

forsaken555

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

quote:

In the beginning i was in exactly such a situation, increasing unhappy with my master but for some reason, i felt so attached to him, i couldn't leave and was trying to leave, make myself detach from him. But that was a time where we were just master and slave and we never ever had human to human interaction. Tried talking to him many times as equals to vocalise my concerns and he'll shut me down and refuse to snap out of master mode. Circumstances happen which somehow made him decide to change his behaviour towards me when it dawn on him how bloody unhappy I was getting, when we were finally able to interact as two equal human beings, everything improved, and now I am happy.

It's sad to hear such things. But I am glad you are now happy. That's why I so often point out to huge importance of egalitarianism.
If I knew about your suffering and if I was around I would be very tempted to beat the shit out of your master, if I could. If I couldn't I would call cops, or social workers.

I'm a little puzzled by your reaction. Why would you wanna beat the shit out of him or call social workers? I think every dom have a choice on what sort of dom he wanted to be. My master wanted to shove 24/7 master and slave down my throat initially, it was what he had with his previous long term sub, and when he met me, he figured he could have the same with me. I dunno, life is weird, many advise me to leave, but I can't explain why I couldn't, the attachment was irrational. But the moment he accepted I am not cut out for 24/7 and adapted, everything changed, this relationship that used to feel like I was stuck in a nightmare is very fulfilling now.

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Post #: 28

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:37:55 PM

SocratesNot

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My reaction is perfectly logical. You were suffering, and as you said, you were bloody unhappy. No matter who he is, Master, President, King, Emperor, he does not have the right to abuse anyone.

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Post #: 29

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:44:17 PM

forsaken555

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His intention was never abuse. That's the important part of why I'm still with him.

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Post #: 30

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:46:19 PM

laurell3

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Ignore him, he's here to judge everyone, not listen or understand.

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When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Post #: 31

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:49:48 PM

SocratesNot

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Have you ever heard of old saying
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Intentions are not that important. What is important are acts, deeds.

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Post #: 32

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:52:06 PM

SocratesNot

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forsaken555, you decide who has your best interests in mind. Telling people the truth is not judging.

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Post #: 33

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:57:52 PM

SocratesNot

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quote:

Tried talking to him many times as equals to vocalise my concerns and he'll shut me down and refuse to snap out of master mode.

My understanding is that this was not consensual. You tried talking to him, he won't listen.
This goes against both SSC and RACK, which means this was actually ABUSE.

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Post #: 34

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 6:59:07 PM

forsaken555

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

Have you ever heard of old saying
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Intentions are not that important. What is important are acts, deeds.

Have you never ever hurt someone you didn't mean to hurt? I believe humans make mistake, but as long as their intentions were not evil, and it was genuine mistake, then it's fine. I don't forgive those who hurt me with the full calculated intention to hurt me and in my journey in this world, I have met those, but I do differentiate it, when someone intentions were not in that direction, even though they did something to hurt me, but it was not their intention.

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Post #: 35

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 7:01:32 PM

SocratesNot

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quote:

Have you never ever hurt someone you didn't mean to hurt?

Yes, I did, but never so horrendously much.

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Post #: 36

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 7:02:06 PM

forsaken555

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

quote:

Tried talking to him many times as equals to vocalise my concerns and he'll shut me down and refuse to snap out of master mode.

My understanding is that this was not consensual. You tried talking to him, he won't listen.
This goes against both SSC and RACK, which means this was actually ABUSE.

Yes he has bulldozed me into some non-consensual stuffs in the past, but at the same time, I never used my safe words either. He has never ever not respected the safe word. I wanted him to stop on his own without me using the safe word. Woman's thing, you just want the man to read your mind. He keeps telling me a gazillon time that my safe word is the only word that will make him stop if his hurting me, but sometimes, I just don't use it and expect him to sense my limits and stop. I have to give a full honest picture. My master really wasn't a monster, that's why things are working out much better now when we start talking.

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RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 7:13:58 PM

KatyLied

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Wow, Jeff.....you need to get laid! Or something.

About unhappy subs/slaves. Why would a functioning adult choose to stay in an unhappy situation? I may try to make it work for awhile, but if I am not happy, no collar or contract is going to make me stay.

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RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 7:18:02 PM

girlygurl

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What Jeff said.

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i see You

happily forever one

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Post #: 39

RE: unhappy subs/slaves - 5/24/2010 7:18:04 PM

forsaken555

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quote:

Why would a functioning adult choose to stay in an unhappy situation? I may try to make it work for awhile, but if I am not happy, no collar or contract is going to make me stay.

Looking back at myself, the problem doesn't become black and white when love and feelings are involved. It's easy to leave if it's just play, and if ya no longer enjoying yourself, so you just leave. Once you develop feelings, everything gets complicated, just packing up and leave doesn't seem so black and white anymore.

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Post #: 40