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i goofed up - 5/18/2010 7:07:34 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

what does a newbie do when she has screwed up and displeased her Master. ??? i am a sub with slave mentality and intent.

i lost focus with soooo many new changes trying to be the slave i want to be.
i guess i need moral support so im turning to you all.

< Message edited by bestheadyet -- 5/18/2010 7:11:05 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 7:08:56 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

What does anyone, in any type of relationship, do when they fuck up?

Apologize sincerely, outline how you plan to improve and then follow through.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 2

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 7:12:08 PM

rajaa

Posts: 34
Joined: 9/21/2005
From: edmonton, alberta
Status: offline

be open and honest....exlain why you "goofed" ask for help NOT to do it again....and begging for punishment because of the "goof up" is always a good touch.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 3

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 7:12:25 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

ty AS....i need a hug i think

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 4

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 7:18:26 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

You are quite welcome. I, obviously, don't know what happened. But all you can do from here is keep moving forward, one little step at the time. As long as they are moving with you, you'll get there before you know it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 5

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 7:20:19 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Don't forget, many online and new '"masters" use "you fucked up" to guilt you into doing whatever it was you wouldn't do last night on cam.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 6

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 7:27:44 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Say fifteen Hail Marys.

Seriously, that depends. If you served him his favorite drink and forgot the lemon slice, he'll get over it. If you went to the local bar and got screwed by fifteen drunks, that's something else altogether.

Cheer up. There's a good chance that the two of you can get past this.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 7

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 8:07:27 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

ty for your input....especially dark s.

i am on a regimented diet....and fell off the wagon......the point is i let him down and he now wants a new declaration of my dedication to my plan.

im gonna have to seek my empathy elsewhere i spose

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 8

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 8:18:04 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Hijacking somewhat.. I have heard that it is dang near impossible to drop a habit without adding another in its place. Perhaps exercise?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 9

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 8:20:58 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

its part of the plan ds....as well as a new med

but M is a health conscious eater.....i never have been ...but He knew this from beginning

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 10

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 8:42:27 PM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

ty for your input....especially dark s.

i am on a regimented diet....and fell off the wagon......the point is i let him down and he now wants a new declaration of my dedication to my plan.

im gonna have to seek my empathy elsewhere i spose

Okay. . . my thoughts. . .

Do you know WHY you fell off the wagon?

Because until you can figure that out there is no declaration that you can make that will work in the long run.

You need to figure out why and fix your diet plan to take that into account.

I also think that it says something about the situation that you state that you "let him down" but do not mention letting yourself down. I may be reading too much into this though. However, if you are really wanting to make a lifestyle change, and that is what a new diet is, then him feeling let down should coeincide with you feeling as though you have let yourself down.

But overall I think that you should start with some self-reflection.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 11

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 9:44:12 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
What does anyone, in any type of relationship, do when they fuck up? Apologize sincerely, outline how you plan to improve and then follow through.

*applause*

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 12

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 9:58:56 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Don't forget, many online and new '"masters" use "you fucked up" to guilt you into doing whatever it was you wouldn't do last night on cam.

Absolutely.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee
I also think that it says something about the situation that you state that you "let him down" but do not mention letting yourself down. I may be reading too much into this though. However, if you are really wanting to make a lifestyle change, and that is what a new diet is, then him feeling let down should coeincide with you feeling as though you have let yourself down.

But overall I think that you should start with some self-reflection.

Maybe that's the problem. Maybe she really didn't want to make that diet change but He did want her to....maybe it was His idea and not hers. Sometimes it's really hard to stick with a big change like that when you really don't want to do it. She did say "i am on a regimented diet" and "M is a health conscious eater.....i never have been," so He's trying to get her to change what's probably a life-long habit. That's not easy. So a person just has to take that one day at a time.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Aylee)

Post #: 13

RE: i goofed up - 5/18/2010 10:04:22 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

ty for your input....especially dark s.

i am on a regimented diet....and fell off the wagon......the point is i let him down and he now wants a new declaration of my dedication to my plan.

im gonna have to seek my empathy elsewhere i spose

When it comes to diet, part of outlining your improvement may involve sitting down and going "I'm not ready to commit to this level. I need you to work with me and help me find a way that will work for me". Just because it works for him doesn't mean you can stick to it. That doesn't mean abandoning the goals he's set for you - there are many ways to reach the same point.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 14

RE: i goofed up - 5/19/2010 12:19:14 AM

jbcurious

Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

I feel your pain! Weightloss is difficult and as we get older becomes more so. I need to lose 30 lbs and it's something that I've discussed with my "potenial". We've come up with a motivational system that brings 3 factors into play.

The first is that we both love corsetts...he wants to order a custom corsett 2" smaller then what I would wear now, having that in front of me and my desire to wear it will be of great motivation when I'm dreading the trip to the gym as I'm a very healthy eater but haven't done much on the exercise. Since I'm also very sexually motivated... an orgasm for each pound lost at the end of the week is also a good incentive for me.

The third factor is the fact that he wants to lose the same amount of weight, his issue isn't exercise as he's vert sports oriented but is food related which will help me to be even more conciencious of the foods I serve in helping him to achieve his goals and will make me be creative in distracting him from his tendency to snack...example: do you really want that bag of crisps or would a blowjob make you happier?

I think you and M. need to sit down a figure out what sort of motivation will help to keep you on track.

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'

I have an explosive personality...

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 15

RE: i goofed up - 5/19/2010 12:21:43 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

~FR~

What everyone else has said.

OP - Bear in mind it is YOU who is making all these changes. One or two small changes are pretty straightforward to handle. Try to make too many changes, or even too big a change in a short space of time and there's a high chance you'll mess up occasionally. It's only human

Talk to your master. Maybe get him to rein back a bit on the 'all or nothing' diet change. Maybe remove some unhealthy elements from your diet and exchange them for something healthier. And do this gradually over weeks and months, not an instant change.

Please don't think that people hear aren't empathising with you. You got a lot of helpful, friendly advice here. You even got a certain amount of sympathy. If you just need a hug, then go to the off-topic fora and post there - you'll (maybe) get all the hugs you need!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 16

RE: i goofed up - 5/19/2010 12:35:01 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bestheadyet

ty for your input....especially dark s.

i am on a regimented diet....and fell off the wagon......the point is i let him down and he now wants a new declaration of my dedication to my plan.

im gonna have to seek my empathy elsewhere i spose

in the scheme of things that isnt such a big goof up - we all fall off the wagon at times its all about being human. i dont really see that as a major failure on youre part, just a glitch in youre diet plan. you personally need to tell youreself why you want to lose this weight and why its important to you. if you have a pair of jeans you want to get into set youreself a goal and stick to it.

i think its quite difficult to give something up, like food or some other freedom of choice along those lines for someone else. mentally you have to do it for youreself too. if you switch the emphasis of this diet over to it being youre priority for you, supported by youre Master you might find it a bit easier and then if you fall off the wagon it isnt so much about letting him down but more a shared glitch.

what id do is relaunch back into diet mode, pick up on the exercise programme and show him youre doing this because you want to do it too. i think at the moment its his thing and youre just going along with it.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to bestheadyet)

Post #: 17

RE: i goofed up - 5/19/2010 4:17:58 AM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

i want to dispel any thoughts of it was His idea over mine......i have used my weight as a shield on and off for years. more to come

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 18

RE: i goofed up - 5/19/2010 4:24:42 AM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

~FR~

What everyone else has said.

OP - Bear in mind it is YOU who is making all these changes. One or two small changes are pretty straightforward to handle. Try to make too many changes, or even too big a change in a short space of time and there's a high chance you'll mess up occasionally. It's only human

Talk to your master. Maybe get him to rein back a bit on the 'all or nothing' diet change.

He is a 'do it' or 'don't do it' kind of guy. Never had an addiction to anything. Whereas I'm beginning my second week of no smoking...newbie at exercise classes x 1 month.........and now the diet...... i am biting off a lot right now.....plus Master and i are new. ty for your input.......

< Message edited by bestheadyet -- 5/19/2010 4:33:38 AM >

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 19

RE: i goofed up - 5/19/2010 4:35:22 AM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

ty sweetsub!

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 20

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