RE: How does one become adept instantly?

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RE: How does one become adept instantly? - 5/20/2010 6:44:00 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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I agree with those that say, don't fall into the trap of believing you will learn at a munch. Someone may be able to give you advice on how to swing a flogger but your not going to learn about dominance and submission. I also go along with those who say, read books. Books are a great resource of information, just don't take them too literally though because even books are written by people with opinions of how it should be.

Both of you need to think about what you want and where you want to go with this. Talk about it and share your fantasies. Experiment with words and actions and communicate how you feel about those words and actions.

Remember also, the best dominant in the world is the dominant you adore. If it feels good then let nobody tell you that your doing it wrong or that your going to fail.
On sites like this, we will always get panels of experts. The real experts are the ones who are inspiring each other to dominate and submit but they are only experts to one another.

If you continue to write to these boards you may get some good responses but if you start a thread, you always have to take the crud (domiguy) with the good stuff. Take what you need from it and discard the rest.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 5/20/2010 6:50:32 AM >

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RE: How does one become adept instantly? - 5/20/2010 12:33:14 PM

Frankseas

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Joined: 1/16/2010
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So true some Munches are over rated and can be boring as well. As most talk about PC games, latest I-pod or anything else not related to BDSM...."Hey people? What the hell are we meeting for?"

Try getting info from books or on the internet and then the BOTH of you have FUN trying out different kinks and learning them. It is much better to learn something from trying and more enjoyable(for both) that using advice that beginners may not understand or even worse can use in the wrong way!

Good luck to you both in your coming adventure. "And Try it you may Like IT!?"

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RE: How does.. - 5/20/2010 1:36:18 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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Joined: 12/2/2008
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Joining the local community, is not the solution. While it's good or nice to have friends involved in "the lifestyle" it's also a good idea to not have people in the middle of your business or relationship either. If you do join the local community, be aware that just because other people are into kink or D/s, does not indicate anything regarding the quality of people you are socializing with.

First and foremost, on your guys list is to figure out what is or is not right for you guys. Not what everybody else thinks is right or wrong. There are a number of books and online resources available regarding BDSM. Read and think for yourselved. Critical thinking skills is important. Just don't assume anything is the Gospel that you read or hear from somebody.

The concept of D/s itself is rather basic and simple concept. One person boss the other person the follower. (123 easy concept). It's like playing tag, where somebody is it (the boss).

Draw upon all your life experiences, these lessons apply very much so.

Talk about things between each other, start to work D/s into things. No mad rush to have TPE overnight (that's not realistic anyways). Reality has a way with fucking with fantasy notions. Most BDSM relationships are balanced between reality and making realistic fantasy come true.

Be leary of people such a mentors stepping into or getting involved in your relationship. When you have somebody else telling both of you how to live your life, there's a problem.

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