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I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head


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I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/19/2010 7:00:39 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I happen to like Jeff Foxworthy.  I've always gotten a damn good set of laughs out of his 'you might be a redneck' routines.  If you're not familiar with it, the premise of the comedy is the blatantly obvious indication that you are a redneck, and an example of such.

"If you mow your lawn and discover a broken down car in your yard........  You might be a redneck."

I think I'm beginning to make an unconscious automatic association between those redneck routines and the majority of posts that come up here on CM that include some version of the phrase, "I'm new to the lifestyle".

Seriously (which is why I didn't put this in the humor section) the majority of the time that anyone includes that little phrase in a post, it almost seems redundant.  If the person posing the question weren't new to the lifestyle, they probably wouldn't have to ask whatever it is they came here to ask about.


So.........

If you're here asking how you can act Dominant....... we already know that you're new to the lifestyle.

If you made a date with a submissive woman and now you don't know what to do with her.......... we already know that you're new to the lifestyle.

If you have to ask how to be a Master in your relationship........ we already know that you're new to the lifestyle.

If you have to come here to ask basic 101 questions that you could have already found the answer by reading even a single non fiction book about BDSM........ we already know that you're new to the lifestyle.



Please feel free to add your own.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/19/2010 7:09:13 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		If you use the word "dominate" as a noun... you just might be new ...

*I often actually think... "Here's your sign." ala Bill Engvall.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/19/2010 7:49:09 PM   
GoddessImaginos


Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline 		If you insist on mass-messaging every single person based solely on gender without bothering with the courtesy of a profile fly-by, and then act insulted when every single person isn't immediately falling all over themselves to respond politely to your lameness.. you're either just really rude, really stupid, or we already know that you're new to the lifestyle..

_____________________________

Delicious and nutritious, does NOT taste like canoli.
~member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's/Mouthy Wenches having been ModSpanked
~10 fluffy points
~RJD RIP xoxo

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/19/2010 8:13:51 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		If you make a post here alerting one and all to the fact that there are fakes here... you're new to the lifestyle.
If you believe that there are legit slave training schools... you're new to the lifestyle.
If you ask whether your Master has a right to do something that you don't like... you're new to the lifestyle.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to GoddessImaginos)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/19/2010 11:20:15 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

*I often actually think... "Here's your sign." ala Bill Engvall.

*smooches the Sunny one* Jeff foxworthy and Bill Engvall.... redneck comedy gold!

If you ask whether "Kneel Bitch" is an acceptable first email from a 'Dominate'..... you might be new
If your first post is a rant about all the scammers online..... you might be new
If you post asking how to punish your online submissive for not masturbating at work.... you might be new
If you ask whether a first meet should take place with you blindfolded and kneeling in a hotel room.... you might be new
If you post here looking for wank fodder and think the rest of us won't suss what you are after in 3 seconds... you might be new







_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/20/2010 3:31:03 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		If you ask the difference between a ProDomme and a prostitute...you might be new

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/20/2010 3:33:40 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

Jeff foxworthy and Bill Engvall.... redneck comedy gold!
you have to use the accent, though

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/20/2010 7:24:51 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am a fan of Jeff Dunham. I often read posts and want to channel Walter........"Dumbass!!"

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/20/2010 8:06:03 AM   
yourdarkdesire


Posts: 4477
Joined: 10/2/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
quote:



If you ask whether a first meet should take place with you blindfolded and kneeling in a hotel room.... you might be new


damn - wish someone had told me this a few years ago!!!! lol

_____________________________

President, ProSubsRUs

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/21/2010 6:19:17 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		If you don't have a lick of real experience with any other this, but want to tell others the way it should be done........ you might be new to the lifestyle.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to yourdarkdesire)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/22/2010 3:19:27 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am a fan of Jeff Dunham. I often read posts and want to channel Walter........"Dumbass!!"


I want to channel Achmed the Dead Terrorist...."I KEEL YOU!  I KEEL YOU ALL!" 

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head - 5/22/2010 7:11:58 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		You know I do that in my classes! lol... and then I pretend to stab myself... It always gets a laugh.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 12
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