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Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 2:42:51 PM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline 		Disclaimer: I'm not really sure how to start this out, so please bare with me.


I first realized I had sub tendencies in my early 20's. That prompted me to explore myself. One thing that I've noticed, is that I have a (bad?) habit of showing too much attention. The big difference was that this was in vanilla relationships, and some people in my past felt that they were being smothered (clean thoughts, you dirty pervs!).


I understand that everyone isn't the same, and what may work for one couple, may not work for another. So, I guess my question is this:

Does anyone here think that the same thing is possible, given the roles of the D/s (respectively)? I mean, depending on how a particular couples relationship is defined, isn't the submissive supposed to show attention for their Dominant?

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Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.
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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 2:48:19 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blackpearl81
Does anyone here think that the same thing is possible, given the roles of the D/s (respectively)? I mean, depending on how a particular couples relationship is defined, isn't the submissive supposed to show attention for their Dominant?
Yes, but too much of ANY good thing is too much. Or, put differently, one way Carol (my slave) is attentive to me is by leaving me alone when I need a bit of space. By the way, I like to think of myself as very attentive to her also. And one way that manifests is by NOT hugging her or commanding her to blow me or whatever when she's deep in the throes of a piece of art.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 2:50:40 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		It is very easy to give me too much attention. I am not easy to be in a relationship with because of this. I need more 'alone time' than anyone else I know.

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 2:53:35 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

It is very easy to give me too much attention. I am not easy to be in a relationship with because of this. I need more 'alone time' than anyone else I know.


The second most alone time out of everyone you know.

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:02:03 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Don't either of you be too sure about that.  LOL.

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:03:09 PM   
Jeffff


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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:06:47 PM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackpearl81
Does anyone here think that the same thing is possible, given the roles of the D/s (respectively)? I mean, depending on how a particular couples relationship is defined, isn't the submissive supposed to show attention for their Dominant?
Yes, but too much of ANY good thing is too much. Or, put differently, one way Carol (my slave) is attentive to me is by leaving me alone when I need a bit of space. By the way, I like to think of myself as very attentive to her also. And one way that manifests is by NOT hugging her or commanding her to blow me or whatever when she's deep in the throes of a piece of art.


I understand what you're saying. This week has just been an emotional roller coaster because of something very similar to this. The only real difference is that it wasn't a dynamic.

_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:20:17 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Short answer: yes. I need my alone time pretty much as much as my friends here! I also need more attention than most, but it is more the subtle anticipatory service kind of thing. Smothering is a NO.

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:22:10 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Don't either of you be too sure about that.  LOL.
Nor you, LP.

I joke that I don't really like people too much.

Most of the time it's a joke, anyway.

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:28:56 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

It is very easy to give me too much attention. I am not easy to be in a relationship with because of this. I need more 'alone time' than anyone else I know.
i am so in love with alone time that i wonder if id ever live with someone else.  i am so used to not answering to anyone, i wonder if i could be a twue sub type again.

all i need is a domly type that digs fat redheads, has his own place, makes my legs turn to jelly, lives near me and will know how much to leave me alone....

ha! thank gawd im in love with alone time now that i see the above in writing.



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yep

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:31:36 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR


"Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society is oneself." Oscar Wilde.

*Chuckle* Only on a Femdom forum would there be a competition for the title of who likes other people the least.

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:35:54 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I'm with some of the others here.  I value my alone time.  I can be very and extremely introverted and sometimes even one extra person in my space...even in the same living space as me is enough to not allow me to recharge.  I don't do well in large group settings and tend to psychologically detach when there is too much social stimulation.  I also tend to remain somewhat attached even at the most isolated of times to certain people, but I still don't want them in my space at that time.  Part of service is making a suitable environment for relaxation to occur.  Sometimes part of that means setting her up to her satisfaction and then just letting her be while you go out and do other things for a bit.  Just consider it time for the heart to grow fonder...if that's even possible. 

lovingpet

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:39:10 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Part of service is making a suitable environment for relaxation to occur.  Sometimes part of that means setting her up to her satisfaction and then just letting her be while you go out and do other things for a bit. 
Lovingpet,

I just fell a little bit in love with you.


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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:43:48 PM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		I am sitting here with a similar problem.

There is a sub that seems to have attached himself to Me forcefully.
Half of me is saying scam artist and the other half is saying overly passionate/
and worse of all he is dropping himself in town this weekend. Feeling tremendously uncomfortable.

IF any one lives in LONDON. England and has a moment to help verify some information I would appreciate it (please send me a note off this thread).

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:49:04 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Part of service is making a suitable environment for relaxation to occur.  Sometimes part of that means setting her up to her satisfaction and then just letting her be while you go out and do other things for a bit. 
Lovingpet,

I just fell a little bit in love with you.



That's cause I'm cute and cuddly! 

Is it so wrong to molesticate you in your stricken state? 



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If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:53:30 PM   
GoddessImaginos


Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline 		MstrPBK, of course You know that You are under no obligation to allow this person to make you feel this way, nor yet to allow them into Your home. What his motives may be are neither here nor there, if he is causing you such distress. If You do not wish his presence or feel the slightest bit uncomfortable or uncertain, send him packing, period. Make this person understand in no uncertain terms that his behaviour is unacceptable to You, and if he will not listen or obey, if he will not remove himself and leave You in peace, call the police and have him removed by force.

< Message edited by GoddessImaginos -- 5/20/2010 3:55:46 PM >

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:57:29 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

That's cause I'm cute and cuddly! 
Amongst other things ;-)

quote:

Is it so wrong to molesticate you in your stricken state? 
Not so long as you promise we can ignore each other once the PMCT (Post Molestication Cuddle Time) is over! :D

Serious answer: ask the D in question-there is no way we can tell you how much attention she wants/does not want. She might be less of a grumpybum than me, in which case she might want more attention than I personally would.

But then she might be *more* of a grumpybum than me-in which case don't call her, she'll call you...


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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:57:38 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I would kill LaT, Jeffff and LadyPact to insure I get my alone time.

we fishermen are a solemn and stoic lot. We leave those that love us the most behind to find the peace that only the water avails to us.

Then we bang hookers. Lots of hookers.

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 3:59:26 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

It is very easy to give me too much attention. I am not easy to be in a relationship with because of this. I need more 'alone time' than anyone else I know.


The second most alone time out of everyone you know.


Jeffff,
The difference is that LaTigresse's "alone time" is her choice, while your "alone time" is everybody else's choice.  After all, aardvarks aren't the best company. 

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RE: Such a thing as too much attention? - 5/20/2010 4:00:06 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Then we bang hookers. Lots of hookers.
Good morning, class. Can we spell 'syphilis'?

(Actually, no we can't. I just had to check the number of l's. And don't even get me started on gono-...ghono-...that other one.)


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Sthetic on FetLife.




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