RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter

RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (Full Version)

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francisUK -> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (6/13/2010 7:13:41 AM)
I haven't read all the replies, but i just want to put in my 2cents, my idea of a good dominant women is one who is nice and caring, who has respect for her subs, open dominance is good in a non-sexual way, i like a woman to lead the conversation, to lead the relationship, but it's just not right and proper to do it full on in public, there's kids about for gods sake, it's the look a woman can give a man in public that only he and others switched on to the lifestyle will understand that makes a good domme, she shouldn't need to get her whip out and put the nipple clamps on him in the middle of a coffee bar to exude and air of dominance.

undergroundsea -> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (6/13/2010 9:08:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum Sorry to hear about your experience. His behavior was entirely out of line at many levels. It is perfectly reasonable to have simply a vanilla conversation with no expressions of dominance or submission. What he suggested was inappropriate for a public place. And to create a scene and to attempt to manipulate you was lame. Accordingly, lack of overt dominance is not grounds to say there is no compatibility. In such a situation, I would feel lack of D/s incompatibility if I felt the domme seemed to have an appeasing attitude due to social timidity. That reason, however, is very different the one described in the scenario. Cheers, Sea

PeonForHer -> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (6/13/2010 9:27:17 AM)
In such a situation, I would feel lack of D/s incompatibility if I felt the domme seemed to have an appeasing attitude due to social timidity. Doesn't that put a lot of pressure on the femdom, though, Sea? I'd hate to think of some woman thinking 'Oh hell, I can't show that I'm anything less than confident' at that first meeting with a sub. Personally, I try my best to ease women's nerves when they first meet me because, obviously, they're going to feel utterly overawed by me.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (6/13/2010 9:33:28 AM)
So, are you saying that a domme can't be shy, Sea? Peon, I direct you to the Intimidating S type thread! You may make your application to me on the other side, I am already intimidated by your chewy abs! [:D]

LadyAngelika -> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (6/13/2010 9:39:31 AM)
quote: So, are you saying that a domme can't be shy, Sea? And is it shyness or is it just being reserved? I'm never shy to meet someone, but sometimes my reservedness is misinterpreted as shyness. - LA

cloudboy -> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (6/14/2010 6:57:03 AM)
The problem with dating and rejections is that the "sorry I can't go out with you" reason is often far from the truth. Usually the breaker-upper is doing what is most expedient.

OttersSwim -> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (6/14/2010 7:25:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer In such a situation, I would feel lack of D/s incompatibility if I felt the domme seemed to have an appeasing attitude due to social timidity. Doesn't that put a lot of pressure on the femdom, though, Sea? I'd hate to think of some woman thinking 'Oh hell, I can't show that I'm anything less than confident' at that first meeting with a sub. Personally, I try my best to ease women's nerves when they first meet me because, obviously, *they're going to feel utterly overawed by me.* It's your giant pits P...they just yawn and chasm and all that...hard not to be in awe and even some shock over those pits man...[;)]

mkula -> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (6/14/2010 8:23:29 AM)
Dear MissAsylum, How awful, you had a lucky escape! That person must have been totally deranged! imagine what could have happened if you'd met beyond the public gaze? It's a good thing you dicovered his idiocy before any relationship developed. It goes to show that you have to be very careful when meeting people on the internet, no matter how confident you may feel about them. Good luck in the future, All my good wishes, mkula.

SamanthaQ -> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (6/16/2010 10:24:44 PM)
You just met the wrong type guy. He sounds like his idea of a domme comes from what he has seen in the movies and on television. I'm a very nice domme and I don't fit the Hollywood description of dominatrix at all. I'm very controlling but not on the first meeting so I would never act all dominatrix like on my first encounter with a man I think there are a lot of men who would like the way you act. Using your first meeting to get to know someone before entering into a D/s relationship with them is what mature people do.

MissAsylum -> RE: Overt Dominance During A Vanilla Encounter (6/17/2010 2:15:01 AM)
agreed. since my vanilla boyfriend and i are poly, i was trying to meet a potential from here instead of a vanilla person. now had we been meeting on the terms of a professional dominations session, i could understand his reaction(however, not in the middle of a starbucks). since it was more of a dating situation, why should bringing all my goods to the table even be a factor. same with telling a first date everything about yourself. you just dont do it.

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