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Andalusite -> RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your submissive more dominant? (5/22/2010 4:39:10 PM)
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I'm a switch, and have been in relationships in which I both topped and bottomed to the same person. So far, I have not reacted with both dominance and submission toward the same person. If I topped someone when they asked me to, I wouldn't consider it to be domination, even if I were allowed to choose the activities. If I were ordered to make dinner, I'd still be obeying, whether he dictated the recipe to me step by step, or told me to decide what to make. Unless I actively feel a dominant mindset and emotions toward someone, I don't consider topping them to be dominance, whether or not I'm free to be creative or take the initiative. My fem-sub playpartner performs acts of service when she can, and I respond to her with dominance, and she reacts to me with vulnerability and submission. Since we are not in a romantic relationship, I don't call her my submissive. If she didn't do things to serve me, or if I didn't have that headspace and emotional response to her, I wouldn't consider it to be domination at all, just topping. Even if I had the same degree of freedom in choosing what activities to do, I wouldn't truly have dominion or power over her.
I disagree with your premise that submission is correlated to low self-esteem. Of course, some submissives do struggle in that area, but I agree with the other posters that it isn't any more common than in the general population. The whole "worthless" thing is generally hot/fantasy talk, from people who enjoy humiliation play.
In any case, it seems incredibly arrogant of you to attempt to "advise" people who have far more experience with D/s than you do. You said that you don't have any experience yet with it at all, then you talk about what you've had your submissive do. I assume the sub in question is strictly hypothetical?
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