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My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/8/2006 10:25:03 AM

FLsubmalecd

Posts: 143
Status: offline

Hello, to all the Lifestyle Dommes. I am wondering if I should perhaps use a picture of myself in male mode as opposed to the one i now use in my cross dressed state. I guess I'm looking for a concenus of opinions on this. In the first place, I do not cross dress openly in public. That is something I do at home or at clubs or events where it is perfectly acceptable. So am I wrong to use that image instead of one of me in my normal male mode?
Being a cross dresser is somethign that has been part of me since age 10. Not something I could even change if I wanted to. Being a submissive is something I never gave thought to until about 8 years ago. Now my desire and need to be submissive to the one lady I love is as much of a driving force for my happiness as my being a cross dresser...maybe more. Also, any thoughts about changing my profile would be greatly appreciated. .

Post #: 1

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/8/2006 10:33:00 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I would say that if being cross-dressed while you serve is what you desire it is best to show yourself that way. If it a greater part of your own identity (separate from your relationship) then you should also keep it cross-dressed.

It really depends on your goals for being on this website. To find partners: how do you want/need to be in scene. To find friends: how are you most comfortable.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 2

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/8/2006 11:44:27 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I agree with TammyJo; if that's how you represent yourself when you serve, then by all means, use that picture. But, don't forget, you can upload more than one pic!

Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 3

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/8/2006 1:00:54 PM

FLsubmalecd

Posts: 143
Status: offline

Thank you both for your comments. Maybe I shuold state two things.

One, I am here to find first and foremost the love of my life. I want and need to love the one woman I submit to. Play is fun, but in my case, I have never "played' with a Domme that I did not have some sort of love for. To me the love is as important as my desire to be owned and submit to a Lady.

Second: I do not need to be "dressed" in order to submit. That would really depend on what my Mistress woudl want at the time. If she preferred me to be in my male mode even for play, that's fine with me. But I admit, I'd like her to perhaps reward me if for not any other reason, and let me serve her in fem mode. I can't stress enough, that the cross dressing is only one part of who and what I am. it would really be up to my Mistress how often and when I would present myself to her in fem mode. Of course she would have toat least acknowledge that my being a cross dresser is a part of who and what I am. Even if she wished to never have me present myself to her in fem mode, but would realize it is part of me. I know I might be asking way to much to have her not only accept it, but love the fact that I am a CD. Even be turned on by it as my last Mistress was. But again, it is not something that is a must. All the other compatability issues woudl have more importance to me. Then of course as I said earlier. Love and mutual respect being the basis of a relationship with the one I'm looking for.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 4

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/9/2006 7:49:30 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd

Hello, to all the Lifestyle Dommes. I am wondering if I should perhaps use a picture of myself in male mode as opposed to the one i now use in my cross dressed state. I guess I'm looking for a concenus of opinions on this. In the first place, I do not cross dress openly in public. That is something I do at home or at clubs or events where it is perfectly acceptable. So am I wrong to use that image instead of one of me in my normal male mode?
Being a cross dresser is somethign that has been part of me since age 10. Not something I could even change if I wanted to. Being a submissive is something I never gave thought to until about 8 years ago. Now my desire and need to be submissive to the one lady I love is as much of a driving force for my happiness as my being a cross dresser...maybe more. Also, any thoughts about changing my profile would be greatly appreciated. .

My personal preference is to see vanilla pics on the front and then kink pics (in your case dressed) behind the main profile picture.

Not only do I want to see the person before I see the kink, but my interest is in people with similar attitudes. Person first, kink second (if that). If you're a transexual that identifies as the gender you are presenting the same rules would apply. You might be 'dressed' on the front page but it would be a vanilla pic of the gender you are presenting, not a pic presenting your 'kink.' You have indicated in your posts, however, that you are not a transexual so a vanilla pic of you as a male would be what I'd want to see on the front of the profile. Frankly, I tend to not notice kink pics as cover pics other than to say "Next!" I liken dressed pics of CDs to genital pics of CBT enthusiasts. I want to see the person before I see their dick.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 5

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/9/2006 8:24:11 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I would say that if being cross-dressed while you serve is what you desire it is best to show yourself that way. If it a greater part of your own identity (separate from your relationship) then you should also keep it cross-dressed.

It really depends on your goals for being on this website. To find partners: how do you want/need to be in scene. To find friends: how are you most comfortable.

I also agree with this...

I will add this. If someone has interest in you they will look at your profile read the contents & look for additional pictures. Maybe adding your male pics there would be a good addition.

slightly off-topic: I speak with CD's, TV's, TS's & all other types of TG's persons, my partner is TS. Unlike anyone else I would be curious to see every side of the person I was speaking to/getting involved with. Just normal human curiosity. I will admit I was curious about seeing my girl's 'boy pics'. I only wish I could have been there since the onset of her transition. I love everything about her & somehow I feel like I lost out on getting to know everything there is to know about her by meeting her half way through her transition.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 6

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/9/2006 8:33:11 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I prefer to see "you" and all that "you" are, what ever that is.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 7

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/9/2006 8:53:19 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

I can't stress enough, that the cross dressing is only one part of who and what I am.

It's definately a "first impression" issue, and about what kind of first impression you want to make.

Given the quote above, I would definately suggest that you do not put a picture of you en femme as the first introduction. If dressing is not a part of your core identity meaning that if a Domme didn't care to dress you being the deal breaker, then you need to stress that by presenting as male.

My personal preference is for masculine subs who present as male (although I may consider using aspects of cross dressing at times to amuse myself). Ergo, I would not be compatable with a male sub who needs to be dressed when serving , and would pass on a sub whose picture was of him en femme, because I would interpret that as being of primary importance to him.

I received an email from someone who included just one pic of him - in a diaper and baby bonnet. I said no thank you, not an interest. His response was that his ex domme was into diaper play but he wasn't and didn't want to do it anymore. I'm sure you can understand that I didn't buy that.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 8

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/9/2006 9:39:42 AM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

Why not take 2 pictures... one M one CD... and save them together as 1 graphics file and use that? :)

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 9

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/10/2006 1:28:24 PM

tasha_tart

Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

I liken dressed pics of CDs to genital pics of CBT enthusiasts. I want to see the person before I see their dick.

That is a rather harsh analogy.

Tasha

_____________________________

"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 10

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/10/2006 1:44:25 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tasha_tart

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

I liken dressed pics of CDs to genital pics of CBT enthusiasts. I want to see the person before I see their dick.

That is a rather harsh analogy.

Tasha

No, it's an honest analogy. If the OP is centered on his cross dressing, and it is a non-negotiable point in his submission, then by all means, he should keep that pic up. If it is something that is less important, cross dressing can be mentioned in his profile and he can post additional pics of himself "en femme" behind the main photo.
I will pass by a photo that is "en femme" as the up front intro. Because I see a fixation, and it is not important to Me. In fact, it can be an annoyance. If it is that important to the boy, then we are probably not a match. I have no problem with it, but I am not going to have any real interest when I see that photo. For Me, that is trotted out when I am in the mood. Or I might allow it around the house, on occasion, if it doesn't interfere with tasks. I have seen too many boys whose submission was dependent on being dressed up. Just not My cup of tea.
It's a personal choice, but it is always good to remember that it is also a first impression.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to tasha_tart)

Post #: 11

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/10/2006 5:21:36 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tasha_tart

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

I liken dressed pics of CDs to genital pics of CBT enthusiasts. I want to see the person before I see their dick.

That is a rather harsh analogy.

To you it's harsh. To me it's truth, my mind goes to comparable places in those instances. It's ok with me if you find it harsh, though.

The OP asked for my opinion and that's it. My first reaction is that this is someone who is still so caught up in their fantasy that they can't see the woman for the leather/ feet/ floggers/ paddles/ needles/ maid uniform/ {insert your masturbatory icon here}. I realize that's an attractive element for some women, a very obvious achilles heel to be exploited, but the idea bores the hell out of me. Those women can have my share (take it, please). Is my reaction always accurate? Of course not. I know there are exceptions to the rule, I've met a number of exceptions and have enjoyed dear friendships with them. There are, however, reasons for stereotypes and for reactions. So show me why I should wade through my reaction (which was formed through experience and noticing the abundantly clear averages) to see if it's wrong about this person (admittedly always a possibility). I'm open to that, but chances are pretty good the profile that shows kink pics up front will just be another mental obsticle for me to overcome. Why would someone want to make themself less attractive to a potential domina, unless they are looking for the person who will find control purely through libido satisfying? The OP stated he would like to find a life partner, not a burn hot and die fast interaction (which can be a lot of fun but not what the OP is looking for). Why not make yourself more attractive to a woman who is interested in more than your kink?

So there you have it, the gut reaction of a woman who knows what she wants and where she doesn't want to spend her time. PRN (take as needed).

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to tasha_tart)

Post #: 12

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/10/2006 7:34:29 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Keep in mind that this is just Me sharing My thought, here.

I prefer to see the male submissive in a profile; let Me create the fem persona as I desire later in the relationship.

If and when I engage in cross dressing a submissive, I like the sub to be My creation, My work of art, for Me to dress, primp, photograph and enjoy, just our secret. Unless I want to make him wear it somewhere!

If I want to see My 'girl' I want to be the one to create the artwork that creates that illusion or that identity.

Just Me thinking out loud, remember.

Great Question!

Texas Maam

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 13

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/10/2006 7:38:45 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold
I will pass by a photo that is "en femme" as the up front intro....It's a personal choice, but it is always good to remember that it is also a first impression.

I pass by a profile that impresses Me as fixated on CD too. Yet, I love to make a sub wear teddies, two piece women's underwear, hosiery, heels, I have great fun with it, but only on occasion. When I see a sub present himself en femme in a profile, I assume he's too obcessed with CD to enjoy being a submissive without it.

Texas Maam

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 14

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/11/2006 6:14:38 AM

FLsubmalecd

Posts: 143
Status: offline

I want to thank all of you that have made comments about my profile picture. I have just added a couiple I just took with my web cam. I'm sure they won't show up until approved. But all of You are correct in what You think of what type of picture should be the main one.
I respect all of Your thoughts on this topic. Again, Thank You very much.

jim

_____________________________

"Don't make someone a priority in your life, When you're only an option in theirs"

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 15

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/11/2006 10:39:40 AM

FLsubmalecd

Posts: 143
Status: offline

Ok, picture approved and should now be replacing the CD picture. All of You Dommes that have commented are very much appreciated. I now feel like I have a better chance to attract the love of my life and my bew Mistress/owner.

_____________________________

"Don't make someone a priority in your life, When you're only an option in theirs"

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 16

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/11/2006 10:53:36 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

I think you should keep the pic of yourself dressed. It's obviously a very important thing to you. The first words in your profile are that you are a cross-dresser.

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 17

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/11/2006 12:56:35 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I agree with Proprietrix. The first word in your profile are that you are a male crossdresser. Best to include that later in your profile and you can even state that it is an important part of your personality but your submission is not dependent on being dressed. If it is, then be honest.
Like the new pic, by the way.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 18

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/11/2006 1:04:18 PM

lushusboobs

Posts: 83
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline

Definitely dressed. If cd is who you are, then that is who you should portray. In that way you are being authentic to yourself. If you are afraid that Mistresses won't like you, don't worry. The right Mistresses will like you and the ones that are turned off by it will ignore you. I know it is still difficult to find someone but why attract the wrong people? Honesty is best. I get wet seeing a cd in a dress.

< Message edited by lushusboobs -- 4/11/2006 1:06:36 PM >

_____________________________

http://360.yahoo.com/lushusboobs
You'd look pretty in my panties...

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 19

RE: My picture post...prefer to see male or female mode? - 4/11/2006 3:37:30 PM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

I think you should keep the pic of yourself dressed. It's obviously a very important thing to you. The first words in your profile are that you are a cross-dresser.

I agree with this but I think you can only have one picture. I know I tired uploading two different pics and they were both disapproved. They have very strict photo guidelines here.

_____________________________

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 20

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