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Advice - 5/21/2010 6:21:47 PM   
KingofHearts2010


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/21/2010
Status: offline 		Ok I've lived the Dom/sub lifestyle since I started dating, I took a three year break to see if I could live another lifestyle. The results being that I've come back. Now before I took my break I let my sub go, because she being a slave was all she knew, when I came back she was owned by a friend of mine now I'm looking for a new one but all that I can find are guys(which I'm not into) women new to the life style with little to no training(which I have no problem with training a new slave, but some have too many limits for me to deal with) or they're already owned. I need help finding a new one. If any one has any hints, tips or advice do share
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RE: Advice - 5/21/2010 6:26:10 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		My only tip is to be patient.  I've been looking for a while myself.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to KingofHearts2010)
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RE: Advice - 5/21/2010 6:36:34 PM   
warlock1935


Posts: 66
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I'm finding girls pretty easily on FetLife; plus I'm a Bondage video producer, so I'm meeting a lot of Bondage models too. I never have trouble finding a good BDSM submissive; it takes a few months to find a really excellent D/s submissive who's also attractive, though. But then I collared my first submissive in 1973, so I've had a lot of practice.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Advice - 5/21/2010 7:36:25 PM   
KingofHearts2010


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/21/2010
Status: offline 		Thank you gentle men. I will keep that in mind

(in reply to warlock1935)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Advice - 5/21/2010 8:38:28 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		You might wanna consider that limits are like safeguards, esp for newbies and extra esp because women need to be more careful...

Point being, when you take the time to cultivate a worthwhile relationship it's amazing how readily most of those excess "limits" have a way of becoming redundant. Same for a safeword, actually.... What you don't wanna deal with basically amounts to taking the time to build trust, to earn respect etc.

Don't expect to find it with a quick-fix - you know, like to see if you "could live another lifestyle".... All relationships are largely the same, you don't usually get out more than you're prepared to put into it. And it is actually possible for that newbie with all those limits to be a person you connect with at all manner of other levels....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to KingofHearts2010)
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RE: Advice - 5/21/2010 9:02:12 PM   
KingofHearts2010


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/21/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for that I guess my youth is jumping to the front of the line, when it comes to that. That's why I asked for advice. I might be young but even I know when to sit down shut up and listen. It seems I still have a lot to learn but thats what life about. again thank you. Not all young people are thick headed.

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: Advice - 5/22/2010 12:22:24 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Have you tried getting out into your local community? Or attending more nationally recognized events? Sometimes building a (good) reputation in these circles helps.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to KingofHearts2010)
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RE: Advice - 5/22/2010 11:55:43 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		How about making sure you are someone that can follow through as a dominant/spouse/whatever before you look for a new slave? You took on a slave and released her to go live another way. Now you may know what you want, but with your history, a slave may not be real confident in opening her life to you because you did bail on a slave before. What's to say you won't again?

Is the object to find a slave or to refine yourself to be master-ready, for a slave? Is it what a slave does that is more important or what a master does that's more important at this point? It sounds like when you do jump, you jump in all the way, no testing the water, just jump in and get to the goods, when it might be best to test the water before you jump in.



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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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RE: Advice - 5/22/2010 1:02:57 PM   
subsfaith


Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KingofHearts2010

but all that I can find are guys(which I'm not into) women new to the life style with little to no training(which I have no problem with training a new slave, but some have too many limits for me to deal with)


You joined a day ago... good Lord, who would actually want to be your slave when you have such little patience.

Your profile is brief and tells me very little about you.

Your journal entry reads of a man who is either arrogant, or very self-aware.  Given that you left the lifestyle and have now come back to the lifestyle, it strikes me as not very self-aware.

I don't mean to be harsh, but this is the impression YOU are giving me when I look at your details.

If I might be so bold, learn a lesson or three about patience, learn about yourself and what you want, put it on your profile, speak to others and perhaps become involved in your local community.  Above all else, educate yourself.

(in reply to KingofHearts2010)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Advice - 5/22/2010 1:03:11 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Don't break your toys and they last longer.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Advice - 5/22/2010 1:29:51 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Have you tried getting out into your local community? Or attending more nationally recognized events? Sometimes building a (good) reputation in these circles helps.

Master Fire


Agreed. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Advice - 5/22/2010 1:47:26 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		1.) Your profile text doesn't say much, and it mentions punishment repeatedly. Not everyone wants a reward/punishment dynamic. So that limits you. And your profile text doesn't sell you. What specifically do you have to offer? What's so great about you as a dom, and as a person?

2.) Your journal entry is all about sex, and is fantasy based.

3.) You smoke! Eeew!

In short, your profile makes you seem like an inexperienced wanker, with not much to offer a prospective sub. Even more troubling is that you seem not to know that. As subsfaith said: it seems that you're lacking self-awareness. My advice: be upfront about that, and ask for a play partner or a mentor, instead of a more serious involvement. Someone who can help you discover more about yourself. If I were you I wouldn't put myself out there as a dom, but as a top. And quit smoking!  



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(in reply to KingofHearts2010)
Profile   Post #: 12
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