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Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 10:58:04 AM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		girl wants to know if there is a way to warn other subs/slaves about a Dom or more on here and if so how do we do it?

girl is asking because she has a Dom on her top ten most SO NOT WANTED list, as He is not a safe Dom and girl is learning what she should have learned long ago.........

"Whistles come in handy my dear girl as when you are in trouble, all you need to do is pick it up and blow."  hehe favorite quote from a Master of girls who died many years ago of course He loved her quote too.

so if there is a way to let other subs/slaves know and not get the boot for putting out a warning sign someone please let girl know.

Thank Y/you in advance for Y/your help.

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 11:04:33 AM   
SacredDOM


Posts: 16
Joined: 4/17/2005
Status: offline 		What does this Dom do that you feel you need to warn others about?  And how do you know he does this? 

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 11:05:15 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		No, there isn't.  Remember that one person's trash is another's treasure.  Just becaue you think he is not suitable doesn't make him unsuitable.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 11:35:42 AM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Cariad..have to agree with Kyra on this one..there is no way to warn others.But do not forget none of us are children and we will all find what is acceptable and unacceptable impacts to our lives.I appreciate that you wish to protect and save someone the possible negative influence upon anothers life,but you cannot.I also am curious though as SacredDom said as to what causes you to wish to warn?...be well..Temping

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 11:50:49 AM   
saltygoodness27


Posts: 28
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		I disagree that there's nothing you can do, at least in a real life community.  One of the first things you're supposed to do when approached by a new partner is get *references* from the community.  Just a simple, "So, what's this guy like?" 
The concept of "trash and treasure" is one thing if your relationship just didn't work out, and that's why you think he's a bad dom.  But if it's a matter of non-consensual abuse or other totally unacceptable behavior (there's a man that I know very little about as a dom, but I know for a fact that he routinely violates people's privacy...as in violates it to their BOSSES), then potential parters NEED to know that.  What they do with that information is their business, but I feel that keeping by keeping your mouth shut when you know someone is dangerous in some way, you are contributing to any resultant abuse.

< Message edited by saltygoodness27 -- 4/8/2006 12:01:01 PM >

_____________________________

A life lived in fear is a life half lived

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 11:57:44 AM   
MasterRenegade77


Posts: 1852
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate N.Y. (Broome Co.)
Status: offline
It's too bad that there's not some form of Inter-Lifestyle street justice for these assholes who make it Bad for the Good Dominants!!!

(in reply to saltygoodness27)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 12:02:39 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Frankly this is why I insist people ask for references from me and why I ask for them in return. You should ask questions about anyone before you get too close to them. You can judge the information you get as you ask questions though this works better face to face. Anyone can claim to know someone else though so you need to be listen and read and observe.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 12:06:40 PM   
MstrFury


Posts: 77
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		this is a very touchy subject with me...a sharp two edged sword so to speak....while it's a no brainer that many claim to be what they will...they haven't the knowledge or the skills to perform...and in those cases...injury or worse is a very great possibility...there are those who just want to abuse another...but that abuse isn't with all they come in contact..so some will say..yes they are...and others will say..no they're not...

then there are those who cry wolf...they accuse someone unjustly of being abusive...be it out of anger...hurt...retalitation to a failed relationship..you pick a reason...there's hundreds....

this lifestyle is open to all who wish to find themselves or parts of something missing that becomes complete...enter into any relationship with open eyes...find what you will..as everyone has different views as to the degree of safe..sane..and consentual...your pain is yours...your limits are yours...and what may be extreme to you...may be just what someone else is seeking......no labels..no tags.....just awareness of the person you put your trust in....

Fury

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 12:15:27 PM   
DaddysLapGirl


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/24/2006
Status: offline 		In that case MstrFury since one can never be completely sure of anothers intentions, motivations or past history one hundred percent, then it's best to just not take chances.

Sometimes people are just evil. And hide it well.

(in reply to MstrFury)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 12:16:24 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: saltygoodness27
I disagree that there's nothing you can do, at least in a real life community.  One of the first things you're supposed to do when approached by a new partner is get *references* from the community.  Just a simple, "So, what's this guy like?" 
The concept of "trash and treasure" is one thing if your relationship just didn't work out, and that's why you think he's a bad dom.  But if it's a matter of non-consensual abuse or other totally unacceptable behavior (there's a man that I know very little about as a dom, but I know for a fact that he routinely violates people's privacy...as in violates it to their BOSSES), then potential parters NEED to know that.  What they do with that information is their business, but I feel that keeping by keeping your mouth shut when you know someone is dangerous in some way, you are contributing to any resultant abuse.


The OP specifically asked if there was anything that she could do "on here" to warn people, and in collarme it is against TOS to do something like that.  In any community you will find a wide range of opinions on what is abusive or any other unacceptable behavior.  What is abusive or unacceptable to one person may not be to another.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to saltygoodness27)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 12:36:56 PM   
tears4him


Posts: 30
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		kyraofmists is correct about this. It's in the rules when you sign up.

_____________________________

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah blah blah

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 12:54:25 PM   
DaddysLapGirl


Posts: 11
Joined: 3/24/2006
Status: offline 		I think I understand the point Kyraofmist and tears4him are making. Somewhat. But do you ladies or would anyone feel it's okay to give beat someones head so badly that they get a concussion? While screaming no no no please stop you're killing me? And this was not about 'sceneing' 'playing' or 'submitting to a pre planned session. This was a drunk, out of control rageful man! As a matter of  fact he knew one of my limits included punching in my face and choking.

Are you saying that if someone submits on any level with a dom that they deserve what they get? And that we as a community have no recourse? That it would be of some service to out these dangerous predator types? There is a difference of someone wishing really harsh sadistic treatment, consensually and non consensual assault under the guise of bdsm. By the way, I did warn his next victim/submissive...she sided with him and ended up being abused herself.

(in reply to tears4him)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 1:19:47 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysLapGirl

I think I understand the point Kyraofmist and tears4him are making. Somewhat. But do you ladies or would anyone feel it's okay to give beat someones head so badly that they get a concussion? While screaming no no no please stop you're killing me? And this was not about 'sceneing' 'playing' or 'submitting to a pre planned session. This was a drunk, out of control rageful man! As a matter of  fact he knew one of my limits included punching in my face and choking.

Are you saying that if someone submits on any level with a dom that they deserve what they get? And that we as a community have no recourse? That it would be of some service to out these dangerous predator types? There is a difference of someone wishing really harsh sadistic treatment, consensually and non consensual assault under the guise of bdsm. By the way, I did warn his next victim/submissive...she sided with him and ended up being abused herself.


If these are the questions you ask after reading my posts, I think you missed the point entirely.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to DaddysLapGirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 1:31:51 PM   
mongo44


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		No. You absolutely did not deserve the treatment you received, on any level. 

I'm sorry you had to go through that.  I can understand where it would be hard for you to find someone new who will satiate your submissive side. 



(in reply to DaddysLapGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 1:39:34 PM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		You can't out someone on this board.   I've even seen others try to give hints, i.e. "he lives in south Geogia" and it doesn't work.  If someone assaults you they need to be arrested.   If they are not prosecuted they can hurt again, that simple.  As others have said, talk will spread (especially if he was arrested) and women will stay away from him.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 2:12:33 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

What does this Dom do that you feel you need to warn others about? And how do you know he does this?


He threatens to come after girl, threatens to make her life a living hell, and will not stop calling even after a whistle gets blown in his ear. he pressures girls into making a snap judgement about whether or not they want to be his.

You ask how girl knows He does this? simple He is doing to her right now, girl has blown a whistle on Him, threatened Him with the cops, and all He does is laugh and say "I don't f*cking care, you do what you want bitch cause I don't care."  things like this and worse are said to girl when she picks up the phone and says hello, however as soon as she hears his voice she blows her whistle in his ear and hangs up after.  He will NOT stop.

this is in response to SacredDom's post. *edited by girl because she noticed it said in response to sweetpleaser and it wasn't*


< Message edited by cariad -- 4/8/2006 2:14:35 PM >

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to sweetpleaser)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 2:29:39 PM   
mtumwawaBwana


Posts: 541
Status: offline 		very simple to handle this ......next time he calls, (and i use "he" because this is not the actions of a master, but an abuser)dont say or do anything to him, hang up, call the police, report a phone stalker and abuser, the police will tell you what you will need to do to be able to file the charges against him. they will then trace the calls he makes, and arrest him. it is now illegal to threaten someone over the phone.....you can thank 9-11 for this........then after the formal charges have been made, which shouldnt take but about a week to occure, change, and i repeat, CHANGE your phone number to an unlisted one. and have no further contact with him again. by your constant reactions to him., you have been the one who has been encouraging him to continue his illegal activities, STOP ENABLING HIM, stop reacting to him, dont feed into his need to abuse you

just my opinion
slave of Master

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 3:57:10 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

very simple to handle this ......next time he calls, (and i use "he" because this is not the actions of a master, but an abuser)dont say or do anything to him, hang up, call the police, report a phone stalker and abuser, the police will tell you what you will need to do to be able to file the charges against him. they will then trace the calls he makes, and arrest him. it is now illegal to threaten someone over the phone.....you can thank 9-11 for this........then after the formal charges have been made, which shouldnt take but about a week to occure, change, and i repeat, CHANGE your phone number to an unlisted one. and have no further contact with him again. by your constant reactions to him., you have been the one who has been encouraging him to continue his illegal activities, STOP ENABLING HIM, stop reacting to him, dont feed into his need to abuse you

just my opinion
slave of Master


this is all well and good advice but sadly girl is not an American citizen, she lives in Canada and has been informed by local police that it is hard to charge people across the border........which girl really does not understand especially after 9-11......... girl lost a brother in law in 9-11 and knows that things have changed between Canada and the United States since then .

hehe girl blew the whistle one last time before reading this post and so far she has not heard from the dom, using that term loosely because you are right he is an abuser since doing so. maybe his ears hurt now lol

ok girl is done ranting and beating a dead horse now ....lol


_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 9:01:20 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

You ask how girl knows He does this? simple He is doing to her right now, girl has blown a whistle on Him, threatened Him with the cops, and all He does is laugh and say "I don't f*cking care, you do what you want bitch cause I don't care."  things like this and worse are said to girl when she picks up the phone and says hello, however as soon as she hears his voice she blows her whistle in his ear and hangs up after.  He will NOT stop.


Have you thought about changing your phone number and not handing it out to anyone for a while?  Also, Radio Shack has a nice little mini tape recorder with a device you can attach to your phone to record calls.  It works REALLY well.  Get one.  Let him rant.  Take the tape to the police.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Warning System of Sorts - 4/8/2006 9:35:03 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

Have you thought about changing your phone number and not handing it out to anyone for a while? Also, Radio Shack has a nice little mini tape recorder with a device you can attach to your phone to record calls. It works REALLY well. Get one. Let him rant. Take the tape to the police.

_____________________________

Denise
the Kaptin's wench


girl thanks you for that tidbit of information as she forgot that she may actually have one of those...again thank you :)


_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 20
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