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Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher?


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Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 9:42:29 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Morning Ladies. Just want your thoughts on this please. Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? Is judicial caning a punishment too far? Or do some masochists really love this
kevin
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RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 9:46:34 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Carol just likes to please me. She'd be thrilled if she could do that with zero effort on her part. Ideally, she'd probably love it if I wasn't grooving on the whole total obedience thing so much. She certainly has no desire to be punished.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 9:57:23 AM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline 		Sometimes I wish He were more lenient, but I know that it's best for me in the long run for Him to be harsh. I mean, if He actually listened to my begging and back-tracking, I would probably respect Him less than I do now for being un-manipulatable (if that's a word, you know what I mean).

The cane is only used as punishment for me because it is so horrible for me (I am not very masochistic).

Most of the time, just knowing I've disappointed Him in any way is the worst punishment because I can keep punishing myself long after He is done with the cane. He actually has had to make a rule - once a punishment is done- it's DONE. No more going over the offense or dwelling on it.

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Member:
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(in reply to leadership527)
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RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 10:03:18 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Yanno, I'm gonna answer this with all seriousness.  (which is a stretch for me as I am the class clown)

As a switch in a Dominant role, I have had the occasional person say that they could take more than what I gave at that moment.  So, to answer your question, yes, I have had someone ask me to be more harsh.

As a switch in a submissive role, I have had times where I have begged for a caning or a really intense scene.  I have gotten them. 

I think sometimes people just need what they need, and if lucky, they get what they ask for.

~ Red

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 10:05:29 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

Most of the time, just knowing I've disappointed Him in any way is the worst punishment because I can keep punishing myself long after He is done with the cane. He actually has had to make a rule - once a punishment is done- it's DONE. No more going over the offense or dwelling on it.


DB has the same rule. 

*hugs to my beautiful hejira, and please give one to Cuffkinks for me* 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 10:09:42 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Considering that My sub isn't lenient or harsh with Me (since I'm the one doing the topping and making the decisions) the question makes no sense.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
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RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 10:16:15 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Considering that My sub isn't lenient or harsh with Me (since I'm the one doing the topping and making the decisions) the question makes no sense.


Kevin wrote: "Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher". I think he's asking if your sub would like you to be more lenient or harsh with him.

Can I offer you a little more coffee, LP :-)

Edited to add: To the OP, I think that when you are a good match with someone, this isn't an issue. I have always been aware of my submissive partner's needs and I will adjust myself to these needs, but in the end, I am the one making the decision on the degree of harshness.

And though I love caning a boy, for me, judicial caning is way too harsh. It causes permanent damage and scaring, something I'm not into. I like a boy with a cute looking bottom, not one all scared ;-)

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 5/22/2010 10:21:17 AM >

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 10:38:15 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I appreciate the offer, LadyA.  More caffeine is certainly in order this morning.  Very late night and all.  I'm sure you understand.  

I apologize for misreading the original.  If we're talking about play, I'm sure there have been times that it has gone back and forth, especially in the first getting to know of a play partner.  When I'm still getting used to a person, how much pain they can take and so forth, I may go a bit on the easier side, just to be sure.  As time goes by and I'm more familiar with them, I know how far I can take them, where I can push them a little more, etc.

In the established dynamic, at just about three years in, I know clip pretty well.  Sure, there have been times that I've been harsh on him, but he knows what it means to be wearing My collar and all that entails.  I'm sure he would tell you that, the few times I've punished him, he wished at the time that I would have been easier.  However, it's also the very reason that I never have to punish him for the same thing twice.

I am rather rigid, but clip thrives in well structured situations.  I tend to think we are very compatible in this area.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 11:05:06 AM   
Scheherazade


Posts: 41
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Considering that My sub isn't lenient or harsh with Me (since I'm the one doing the topping and making the decisions) the question makes no sense.

Yes, your comment makes no sense of this post ? The question is: does your sub want you to be more lenient or harsh. BTW, my daddy is just about perfect.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 11:14:30 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Whatever has come over you Kevin? This question is dangerously close to being reasonable (for here anyway), well expressed and on topic.... good for you.

So I will answer it in the spirit in which it was apparently put.

Despite me being a sadist and very much into humiliation too, I also have good self control such that I dont take it further than I think is enough, and it is always my decision as to what is enough. This can vary from person to person but as far as the thrashing side goes my ground rules are that I dont intend to draw running blood (deep red welts on the verge of breaking are OK) and wont go that far - I regard it as a failure if I do.

Nevertheless, the capacity and desire for substantial levels of pain from some guys I have indulged myself with has been such that they beg for more even when I feel the limit has been achieved. But it remains my decision that the thrashing is over, simple as that.

And yes, I have given what you might imagine to be a judicial caning as seen on TV from Malaysia. No warm up as he wanted it straight, what with being the most slutty of pain sluts I have ever come across. For the sake of not wishing to provide wank fodder, lets just say it was completed but that he has never again since asked for the same, even though the end result was not exactly alike to that suffered in the real thing.

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 11:19:54 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		He's perfect just the way he is. I wouldn't be with him otherwise.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 11:33:15 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Scheherazade

Yes, your comment makes no sense of this post ? The question is: does your sub want you to be more lenient or harsh. BTW, my daddy is just about perfect.


Had you read the following remarks, you would see that I corrected that and apologized for misreading the original.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Scheherazade)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 11:42:37 AM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		Subs want their Doms to be more realistic or more dramatic.  

Masochists on the other hand want their Sadists to be more in tune with what the sub's body is ready for / can handle (lenient/harsh).



(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Would your sub like you to be more lenient or harsher? - 5/22/2010 12:14:25 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It isn't up to me to decide when he needs to be harsh or lenient. If it were, then I would be the one in charge.

By the time I'm in such shape that I just want to be beaten until I cry, he always thinks I'm past the point that would be helpful. Instead I get put to bed with a couple of Advil and my back rubbed till I'm calm.

It's his decision, not mine.

However if overall I wanted a lot more pain than he is comfortable handing out, then we would be incompatible in this area and need to decide how best to solve this problem. Which could be by playing with others or by finding someone more compatible. But just as you have the right to seek someone harsher than her, she has the right to seek someone who is more in tune with her. Both of you deserve to be happy, but not necessarily with each other.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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