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LillyoftheVally -> RE: Attitudes of people in BDSM community about vanilla lifestyles (5/25/2010 1:27:06 PM)
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ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
It is often said that "vanilla people" can't understand BDSM, and that they are quite often intolerant to it.
I am not sure it is often said, but I know that when it is said I often disagree
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What happens in the opposite direction? Can people who are into WIITWD really get vanilla folks?
When I meet one I guess I will see if I can 'get them'
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I am interested in how BDSM community really views entire vanilla lifestyle and vanilla values such as monogamy, democratic decision making, equality, etc.
D/s is complex, I am sue you have seen that now, I have had many different types of D/s relationships and I have also had what I guess would be called vanilla relationships, although for me the only difference really was awareness and the words used, but I would say monogomy isnt a vanilla idea neither is equality and to be fair neither is democratic decision making.
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Do you feel that vanilla lacks substance? Is it somewhat outdated? Are vanilla relationships more superficial? Why you can't be satisfied in vanilla relationships?
Framed in the way I have answered already I would say relationships without self aware power dynamics are not lacking in substance nor are they superficial. I couldn't be satisfied because I analyse the shit out of everything.
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Please, I mean please, don't start again with these "no generalizations" posts.
If you don't want to constructively answer questions, it's better not to post anything.
If you know you cause it then why do it? I really fail to understand that, maybe it is that you are starting to see that actually its not porn its not them and us its not black and white? Maybe not
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