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RE: is it that difficult? - 5/24/2010 6:57:30 AM

bluefireeyez

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I am also 25, and while I have gone through a lot more than I wanted to by this point...I think that it has made me begin to look forward to the unknown (at least a little). I know what you mean by wanting someone to be able to tell you everything will be ok and mean it. The problem is, someone could and you still might not believe it.

About a year ago I got fed up with all of the guys I had met. I decided to focus on my school and work and worry about finding "the one" later. I was having a rough time and decided to console myself. I figured noone had made me feel better most of the time until that point, so why try? Truth is, He may have found me. He cmailed me and since his email was well thought out and original, I decided I would be straight and tell Him that I wanted nothing more than friends. He still laughs at the fact that I once told him there was no way on earth I would ever be with Him. W/we've been together for a little less than a year. Maybe the old cliche is true...once you stop looking for someone, you find them.

Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the stress of work, family, bills, friends, etc. One day you will look back and miss just that. Take it from someone who never thought she'd miss a single thing about her earlier years. (Yes, I know I'm still young but I feel 80 at heart).

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RE: is it that difficult? - 5/24/2010 7:53:31 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nevaehangel

Is it honestly that difficult to be honest with someone about what you truly desire? Why lead someone on into thinking something is possible to happen when its not? I don't mean for this to be a direct jab at anyone I just need to get things off my chest and I need to express myself and I am sorry if its outside the box so to speak and if I seem to come off as bitchy but... I guess what is leading this question is I've been doing alot of thinking lately and for some reason I am quite an emotional mess...I keep wondering what lays ahead of me and what is out there for me to find...I guess I'm terrifed of the unknown but in all honesty who isn't? its a rush its a mystery and all I want is what I desire to become a reality. I honestly wonder at times if everyone is fake...if I only see things thru rose colored glasses because I am afraid to see whats really there....I miss certian things so much....I miss certian touches so much...I am honestly begining to wonder if.....just if....I'm guessing I should probably stop writing this while I can still somewhat see the screen clearly thru the tears...but before I do...let me say, I feel as though my life is in shambles and I guess I desire someone who can just put their hands on me and tell me it will be alright and honestly mean it....someone who's not afraid to just let me cry when I need to, I'm confused, I'm lost, I'm just a big ball of emotion as I said....maybe it will all change and get better one day, I'll continue to hope for it...*le sigh* and on that note I am closing out this entry...as the screen has now become a blur

All I can say is take a deep breath and reeeeeeeeeelllllllllaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxx. It will all come in due time. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

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RE: is it that difficult? - 5/24/2010 8:12:30 AM

Jeffff

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I wish we were 25, I possibly could have prevented you from changing sides!

Imagine how happy we would be......... sighsssssssssss

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RE: is it that difficult? - 5/24/2010 8:26:48 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
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I hate to say it, but no dominant is going to make you "not empty". That is something you have to do for yourself - no-one can give you a sense of purpose, or make you happy or fufilled.

You have to be happy with you before you can be happy with someone else.
Of course a lot of what you are experiencing could be simple loneliness, and that isn't any fun either.

You can't live your life wanting what you don't have yet. You have to have fun and get a sense of fulfilment from the life you are living, not the life you want but don't have. Life is in the journey, not the destination, as some rather pompous person said, but it is true. If you aren't enjoying yourself today, then what hope do you have for tomorrow?

Find one thing you enjoy - and do it every day, or at least every couple of days. Allow yourself to be happy. You don't need someone else to be happy, but they do enhance a happy life wonderfully.

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RE: is it that difficult? - 5/24/2010 8:54:31 AM

windchymes

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Some really good replies here :) OP, I'm glad you are sounding open-minded about the whole thing, because you seem to have some wisdom despite your tender age. (Hey, I'm 52...25 IS tender!lol)

Anyway, just keep the rose-colored glasses off and you'll be one step ahead, and like someone else said, in due time, it will happen in due time. It may happen in several due times, lol. Just enjoy the ride!

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RE: is it that difficult? - 5/24/2010 9:09:40 AM

SpiritofaSub

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Sometimes things are that difficult, but we tend to get through it. You too will get through it, in time. I am sure this is not the first time you have felt this frustrated, nor will it be the last time.

The one thing that I keep constant in my mind is to not have expectations of how others should respond. 99% of the time, they will fail my expectations, as I might fail theirs too.

Without rose color glasses, we see people, places and things as it is, instead of what we assume it should or could be. Without rose color glasses, we also can embrace ourselves and become stronger and healthier inside. I know for me my persona is not one of a submissive who would desire to have a Dom mold me and create a new me. Instead I would prefer to have something of personal substance to offer a Dom. or for that matter any relationship that is part of my life. I tend to be very flexible and can bend to another's wishes, yet they also will be getting a core that is strong and mentally healthy. This though is me and my own expectations of myself.

Throughout time even my own expectations of myself have and will continue to change, which is sweet! This I cannot though expect from another, for it only will lead me to a deep dark hole-depression.

Not sure if this has helped. Perhaps a little.

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RE: is it that difficult? - 5/24/2010 9:23:28 AM

leadership527

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quote:

I guess I desire someone who can just put their hands on me and tell me it will be alright and honestly mean it

It's will be all right. Really. Trust me on this. Life goes on. Things are down one day and up the next. Really truly, it will be OK. I can't give you a hug over the internet, but go ahead and give yourself a one... or the moral equivalent thereof... (you might try a pint of hagen daz and your favorite movie). You may be confused, but you can never be "lost". You're right there. No really... Go look in the mirror if you don't believe me.

There are answers to the questions you asked. But way more significantly than answering those questions is the pressing urgency of getting yourself stabilized. are you really looking at your own life accurately? Is it really this miserable and confused. Or, is it simply the case that you want a partner and haven't found one?

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: is it that difficult? - 5/24/2010 3:38:21 PM

DesFIP

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People are afraid to be honest for fear they will be rejected.
Get over that fear or keep being dishonest and keep having bad relationships.

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RE: is it that difficult? - 5/24/2010 6:08:22 PM

LadySilver0523

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Joined: 6/7/2006
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God girl, I so hear you! I've been there too, but my life is even more shitty ... well, I'm not here to compare dick sizes. Let's just suffice to say, that I totally understand. But I've found my Knight in shining armor and I can't wait to get on with my life and get the ball rolling that will carry me into my 30's. :) I'm so blessed to have the people that I do in my life. (Even though, they PISS ME RIGHT THE FUCK OFF! Even though I want to FUCKING MURDER MY family half the time... *sighs* I should have just stayed in Florida and tuffed it out and never came back here....) Anyways, I'm moving to MO. soon to be with the one that I love and I wish you all the best in your search.

Take care, get well, get some rest, take a nice hot shower, doll yourself up and go and socialize if you feel so inclined. Oh yeah, and, like someone else said, wine, cheese and chocolate doesn't hurt either. ;)

Much love,

Silver

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