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RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/25/2010 1:34:28 AM   
weaselwelder


Posts: 72
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline 		Find someone you can trust. Then trust them.

Trust them to listen. Trust them when they speak. Trust them to tell you when you fucked up. Trust them to say stop. Trust them to say more. Trust them to not let you hurt them. Trust them not to hurt you.

Trust someone utterly, and be worthy of that same trust in return.

And yes, that would be the same advice I'd give a new submissive, a new master, someone looking for vanilla dating, or someone looking to learn the guitar.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/25/2010 3:24:06 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

They should get some leather pants!

I think the lack of leather pants has really hindered me


Jeff...anteaters are born with leather pants. 

My advice, don't take everything too seriously.  Have fun.  Laugh.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/25/2010 10:18:59 AM   
rideemwet


Posts: 93
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn

If you had a brief encounter with a person who was new to the lifestyle but on the path of being a Master, what one piece of advice would you be sure you mentioned?


I would tell him that his subs advice (verbal and non-verbal) trumps any advise I could give him.


_____________________________

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Huh?

(in reply to dananddawn)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/25/2010 3:49:24 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn
If you had a brief encounter with a person who was new to the lifestyle but on the path of being a Master, what one piece of advice would you be sure you mentioned?


Take most of the advice you get with a grain of salt.


_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to dananddawn)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/25/2010 3:56:43 PM   
subangi


Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline 		Honesty and communication are the key


and those leather pants

(in reply to DomImus)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/25/2010 6:52:05 PM   
forsaken555


Posts: 39
Joined: 12/2/2009
Status: offline 		I'd say watch the power tripping. Many new doms are entice by the idea that you get full control over another human being and get to order them around. They also got the crazy idea that just because a woman calls herself a sub, she will naturally obey anybody who calls himself a dom.

Just don't inhuman yourself, and keep your feet to the ground, you're still dealing with a living human being with feelings, and that still needs delicate, gentle care and respect.

(in reply to dananddawn)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/25/2010 11:17:16 PM   
Malkinius


Posts: 1814
Joined: 1/9/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn

If you had a brief encounter with a person who was new to the lifestyle but on the path of being a Master, what one piece of advice would you be sure you mentioned?


How about that if his goal was to be a Master he had already failed at reaching his goal of being a Master?

.

.

.

.

He should be training himself in the skills to master himself and someone else. Then think about finding someone to master. After correcting all the mistakes he makes along the way he may find that he is already somewhere past his original goal. The goal should not be a title or even a sub or a slave even tho that is and has been the goal for most so-called Masters. If you stop once you think you can call yourself something like this, you fail. Titles should be bestowed as acknowledgement of ability and success, not the end goal in and of itself.

Be well....

Malkinius

Oh yeah...and make sure Jeffff has at least some pants on, leather or not. <grins>

_____________________________

A questioner by inclination...An Auctioneer for the fun of it
http://www.HouseMalkinius.com    The goal is community.

(in reply to dananddawn)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/26/2010 1:35:11 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zardozlash

hello ,
I would add just a thought to the wonderful advises already given , for me a master needs 4 qualities: care attentiveness empathy and above all consistency.
I guess that with all that you are o the path of becoming a fantastic master
Good luck and fair winds


In my opinion this is the best advice so far consistancy is the one important element that is missing from many dominants. Without consistency you have little strength. Anyone can learn to flog, add nipple clamps, tie someone up and anyone can order about but very few people have the ability to remain consistant.
Men, especially, are brought up to please women. I don't mean in a submissive way but in a 'keep them happy and keep them sweet' Many men don't have the ability to say 'NO' but use words like 'perhaps' or 'maybe'. Perhaps and maybe give hope to those who don't want to be dominated because they are words that can be used for manipulation. Submissives don't want to manipulate and don't want to be given the opportunity to manipulate.
Use words like 'Yes you can' or 'no you can't' and 'DONT' waver or be riddled with guilt if you refuse something.

Up until meeting Steve I was the most manipulative woman with my partners. I could always, always get them to change their minds. I could always make them feel guilty if I wasn't getting my own way. Once I realized I couldn't manipulate Steve because if he said 'NO' it would remain consistent I stopped trying, felt safer and respected him more than I have ever respected any man.

Honesty, communication, empathy and attentiveness are all good qualities but they are also good qualities in a vanilla relationship too. All those things without consistency will not make you a leader.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 5/26/2010 1:41:39 AM >

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to zardozlash)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/26/2010 10:16:34 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Hmmmm that's a tuffy ... The best advice ive ever received is.....

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/26/2010 8:48:21 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dananddawn
If you had a brief encounter with a person who was new to the lifestyle but on the path of being a Master, what one piece of advice would you be sure you mentioned?


Have your life in order and make wise decisions.

All success stems from this.

_____________________________

Omnes una manet nox

Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to dananddawn)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 5/29/2010 9:22:41 AM   
domincalifornia


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/7/2004
Status: offline 		Always maintain your self-respect and respect everyone you encounter.

(in reply to dananddawn)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 6/1/2010 5:32:39 PM   
SirDarkside357


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		I would tell them what I would tell anyone...... be honest and be true to yourself.

(in reply to dananddawn)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 6/2/2010 4:06:52 AM   
toyslave


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/24/2004
Status: offline 		I would tell them to never stop learning, read real how to type books, and literature,  ask questions, of them self (introspection) of their partner, and the community at large (like here) because bluffing your way through a scene is a dangerous thing to do.  

(in reply to SirDarkside357)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 6/7/2010 9:28:35 PM   
Glasgow


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

To always remember that the Fantasy is just a Fantasy and if that Fantasy is strong enough then the reality might not compare.
quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

To always remember that the Fantasy is just a Fantasy and if that Fantasy is strong enough then the reality might not compare.


The guys that get caught on To Catch a Predator should be told this.
But excellent advice, I think this one might be going on a Post-It Note on my desk.


_____________________________

I wash my hands of this weirdness.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 6/8/2010 5:32:28 PM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		Be a gentleman first and a Master second. Treat everyone you encounter with respect until they ask you not to. Never rush or hassle anybody, show your best side. It's not just about sex and it's never just about you. The moment you are unleashed be ruthless, be brutal, be the monster you've been restraining for so long, then revert to the gentleman.
Remember to Master yourself first, foremost and always.

(in reply to dananddawn)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 6/8/2010 6:07:05 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		learn to really listen to your property

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to reynardfox)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 6/10/2010 4:40:30 AM   
Syrox


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

They should get some leather pants!

I think the lack of leather pants has really hindered me


Mine arrived from Ebay yesterday and I can honestly say that upon putting them on my Domly-ness gas increased by 10 fold.  I would highly recommend ANY Dom get a pair... it is the one Twue way!


_____________________________

unless otherwise noted this has been a fast reply. brought to you by the letter M and the number 7.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 6/12/2010 9:02:41 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		The smart ones are better at obedience.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to Syrox)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 6/15/2010 5:52:16 PM   
Ravenhall


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/7/2009
Status: offline 		Master yourself first before you try to master others, for this is where your true authority resides. Impose limits upon yourself and fulfill them. If you cannot live up to your own expectations, how could anyone else? If you cannot overcome your own limits, how could you dream of helping anyone overcome their own? 

(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The one thing a new dom or Master needs - 6/15/2010 6:09:48 PM   
Syrox


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/13/2010
Status: offline 		Plain old common sense is your biggest ally.



_____________________________

unless otherwise noted this has been a fast reply. brought to you by the letter M and the number 7.

(in reply to Ravenhall)
Profile   Post #: 40
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