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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 12:02:06 PM

SocratesNot

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Regina and Orpheus I understand your reaction, having in mind types of posts I made on forums last few days, but I don't think your way of expressing ideas is very fair.

I am not a paranoid nor I think that I am that important. I just asked about general issues about posting pictures, and experiences that people had with this. That's all.
I will thank other posters for their opinions, and I will consider opinions of two of you too, but I think that you don't need such attitude here.

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 12:04:05 PM

SocratesNot

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Lucienne, thanks for your advice and for defending me

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 12:04:11 PM

ReginaMirus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

Regina and Orpheus I understand your reaction, having in mind types of posts I made on forums last few days, but I don't think your way of expressing ideas is very fair.

I am not a paranoid nor I think that I am that important. I just asked about general issues about posting pictures, and experiences that people had with this. That's all.
I will thank other posters for their opinions, and I will consider opinions of two of you too, but I think that you don't need such attitude here.

Meh. Too bad. You throw it out there, you don't get to control what comes back to you. Take it or leave it.

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 12:18:32 PM

Lucienne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus

Yeah. Bottom line, you seem to assign yourself and awful lot of importance in other people's lives. I sincerely doubt that you're all that significant enough for them to hunt you down and try to look for your face on a kink site.

That's some shitty advice. Bottom line - don't put pictures of yourself on the internet that you wouldn't want the entire world to see. Period.

I suppose if he's only interested in posting face and cock shots might leave a little room for discretion.

If you're in a very high profile job or political office, it might also come back to haunt you. Exception, granted.,

Other than that, honestly, no one really cares. But I suppose it's much better to breed mass paranoia.

The advice that "no one really cares" is excellent for people who spend their days feeling self-conscious and judged by the world for their every move. Because, yeah, most people are too busy thinking about their own shit to care about yours. But when it comes to the question posed here - hey guys! probably not a smart idea to put a face pic on the kinky web site, is it? - it's important to keep in mind that once that picture goes up, it's being archived somewhere and if someone ever does care enough they will probably be able to find it. It's not about paranoia, it's about risk assessment. And the OP is 22. And in a professional program. Who knows if he might be up for a high profile job or political office someday? Exercising discretion isn't paranoid. Not putting a face pic on collar me is closer to wearing a seat belt while driving than it is to wearing a tin-foil hat to prevent the microwave from controlling your brain. That's great that you feel comfortable posting yours. But no everyone is going to do the same cost/benefit analysis as you.

< Message edited by Lucienne -- 5/25/2010 12:25:06 PM >

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 12:24:27 PM

Lucienne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

Lucienne, thanks for your advice and for defending me

Oh... I don't think Orpheus' advice was all bad. Certainly not point 1. Point two was mildly over-stated in a humorous fashion, but really, a fair point. If your first instinct is to not have a photo, just go with that. Ignore people like Regina who would make it about being ashamed or paranoid. If you're comfortable with a photo, have one. If not, don't. It is not necessary to have a face pic to meet people on this site.

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 1:36:45 PM

angelikaJ

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FR
I had my photo up for aprox 20 months. I never had negative repercussions but also am not in a position in society where I would be worried about that.

The reason why I took it down was because I am owned and no longer seeking.
It is the same reason I hid my profile.

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 1:53:13 PM

urineme

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From a personal infosec perspective, my advice is to NEVER post anything traceable to you that you wouldn't mind being circulated at your place of employment, church (If you attend one) PTA, etc. With some employers, it DOES matter, and social ostracism can have negative effects on one's family as well. If you DON'T have these concerns, all well and good, be as open as you wish, but for the rest of those here, be aware that, as has been mentioned, casual browsers with deeply submerged wishes can peruse this site, registration IS free, and for some people, the urge to embarrass someone they know for the purpose of their own relative social elevation is irresistable.

William
(the F-22 of the site)

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 2:02:22 PM

Missokyst

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No, they do not have to register. If I am on my other computer and therefore without an account attached, I can see people's images just fine. In fact, even without logging in I can see pictures and search by state if I wanted to.
As far as what it says about them is.. they might be curious. They might want to see some pervs. They might want to see if the rumors that so and so was listed on a kink website were true. There are a variety of reasons.
I don't view what I do as shameful, but I am not stupid enough to think that putting my face on a kink website might not change the way some people see me. Most of us have jobs, family, friends who don't need to know the intimate details of our lives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus

Ok, in order for them to RECOGNIZE you, they'd have to register themselves. What does that say about them?

Better yet, do you think that what you're doing here is remotely shameful?

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 2:06:05 PM

Missokyst

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I havent been spotted yet, but I have met and worked on some people's computers that belong to this site. I know, I saw their images. Of course it did not change the way I worked for them, apart from recognizing that profiles may not provide a good view of the personality.
Some of them were brain slugs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

FR
I had my photo up for aprox 20 months. I never had negative repercussions but also am not in a position in society where I would be worried about that.

The reason why I took it down was because I am owned and no longer seeking.
It is the same reason I hid my profile.

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 3:37:41 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus

Ok, in order for them to RECOGNIZE you, they'd have to register themselves. What does that say about them?

Better yet, do you think that what you're doing here is remotely shameful?

Yeah, and this is not an argument that really works, the what does it say about them.

And as for shameful? Seriously? This is not about what HE thinks, it's about what happens with the people around him. There are a lot of mean spirited people in the world. They will hurt someone for the kicks... really hurt someone. They will gladly see people destroyed, fired from jobs, estranged from families.

S -
If you think it's not safe for you to upload a pic, don't ... I had reservations when I did and boy did they bite me in the bum!

eta: (from reading further in the thread)

quote:

If you're in a very high profile job or political office, it might also come back to haunt you. Exception, granted.,

Other than that, honestly, no one really cares. But I suppose it's much better to breed mass paranoia.

I am a total nobody as far as the world is concerned. However, a pretty ugly fiasco ensued from someone doing the very thing that we are talking about.

I stick with... listen to your gut. If you don't want to post a pic, don't.

We are *not* talking mass paranoia here. We are talking about being realistic.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 5/25/2010 3:49:23 PM >

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 3:42:02 PM

youngandjaded1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ReginaMirus

Yeah. Bottom line, you seem to assign yourself and awful lot of importance in other people's lives. I sincerely doubt that you're all that significant enough for them to hunt you down and try to look for your face on a kink site.

There are a lot of reasons why someone would log in to sites like these. Some people get off on "laughing at the freaks". In this day and age with myspace, facebook anyone can make a fake profile and send your contacts a link to your kink profile. people do all sorts of crap for sick thrills. Its nice having that "to hell with what people think" attitude but I don't want to be the laughingstock of my workplace or social circle!

And I have personally come across profiles of people that I know or recognize in real life, on these sites. If I found them, that means they can find me.

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 4:23:55 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

Don't show your face if you don't want to.

Exactly. VC went for the headless shot. I went for the topless shot ;-)

Oh and read OA. I think he has you figured out and he's bang on.

- LA

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 5:05:02 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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Fast reply:

OP, this sort of inquiry comes up often on these forums. Use the search feature, and you'll find some harrowing tales. All it takes is one asshole to really mess up your life. There are people who thrive on creating drama in others' lives, and then sitting back and watching the show. Don't give anyone a quick and painless way to do that. Don't let harm to your personal and/or professional life be some asshole's easy whim. Don't be the show that he or she gets off on creating, and watching. All your suffering, (and your efforts at containment), and the ripple effect that it would create in the lives of others around you, would be yummy morsels for these likely strangers to enjoy- while they themselves may remain anonymous. Be careful. Don't be an easy target.

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RE: Uploading pictures on your profile - 5/25/2010 6:57:27 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Exactly. VC went for the headless shot. I went for the topless shot ;-)

Does that make me more demure than you, topless lady? :P

Another thing, OP: all the pictures of me anyone from CM will *ever* see (apart from those I really do trust and would be happy to meet up with in real life) are from my facebook. That gives me some plausible deniability; several hundred people have access to these photos.

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