RE: Face Slapping Help?

RE: Face Slapping Help? (Full Version)

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laurell3 -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/27/2010 9:38:22 AM)
Sorry OP, I read this backwards and thought you were the D type.... I think you've gotten some good advice on the injury part, with regard to bruising, avoiding hitting on the bones will help, but the simple fact about bruising is people either bruise easily or don't and there really isn't much of a way (other than very light impact) to predict it.

Missokyst -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/27/2010 9:55:29 AM)
I had only been slapped once before in my life, when I was in my early teens. Before that my parents had never hit me in any way what-so-ever. At that time I was unable to process both the reasons I yelled, which brought on the resulting slap, and the slap for me was an instant dismissal of my feelings. I ended up taking this internally instead of allowing that argument to continue. At that age it was my only option. I had no idea that a slap in my adult life might trigger hatred, rage and the immediate response to anniliate. My boyfriend at that time had been in my life about 3 yrs and our sex life was filled with many rough sex days and nights. We did not discuss the slap beforehand but it might have "fit" if the scenario did not play out the way it had, even though it was the first time he ever slapped me. All I know is that slap made me relive feelings of powerlessness. We did have sex, he had no idea of my inner turmoil, and that was another thing that disturbed me which is what I think killed any feeling I might have had for him. I didn't know that a slap might effect me that way. My reaction to being slapped has lessened somewhat, but it did carry on to my time working as a bouncer in a bar when I had to handle unruly female patrons. They slap. Not a good idea. The point is that you never know what might trigger a bad response and you should be prepared to stop and speak up if you need to. quote: ORIGINAL: SubmissiveFox >>>Mine was to completely shut down and we never got over that as a couple. Missokyst - you're making me worry now. Would you mind sharing more about this? Was the face slapping planned in your relationship or not? How often did you do it? What was it about it that made you "completely shut down" and why do you think you were never able to get over it? Why do you think your partner wanted to do it? It's not something of great appeal to me personally but I'm not horrified by it & vaguely curious. But he is v. keen. But I wouldn't want to do it if it would destroy the relationship or give me a traumatic emotional reaction. Maybe the solution is to start very softly and see how it goes. . . ?

SubmissiveFox -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/27/2010 10:00:48 AM)
Thank you for sharing your experience Missokyst

SailingBum -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/27/2010 10:45:15 AM)
Yep Yep ... I slap my bitch whenever... no discussion BadOne

littleone35 -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/27/2010 10:46:39 AM)
I was with an ex play partner nd without warning he slapped me across the face. I was shocked no one had ever done that to me before. I looke him straight in the eye and told him if you EVER do that again, i will not see you anmore. It had nothing to do with my childhood, i founfdit humilating and i don't do humilation scenes. They are a turn off for me. Matt's littleone

warlock1935 -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 12:28:57 AM)
That's the way I do it - I reach past her head with my left hand and take a firm hold of her hair; that means her face is resting against my arm and I have her head pretty much immobilized. Then I start with a light, stinging slap and work up. With experience, you can give a slap that stings and is loud, but barely moves her head - I think it's speed, with a soft wrist so there's no mass and power behind it. VERY erotic for a lot of subs. The first time I did this with my slave kitten, she had a completely unexpected intense but bad reaction to it. I had her kneeling naked with her hands cuffed behind her, luckily, so I just gathered her up (she was only five feet and 110lbs), put her on my lap and cuddled her until she came out of it. When we'd talked about it beforehand, she wanted to try it and thought it'd be fun. When she calmed down and we dug into her memories, she suddenly remembered that when she was nine or ten, her mother would get wound up and just walk over to kitten and slap her. It made her mom feel better; I'll leave it to you what it made kitten feel. We actually worked through it by doing a repeat of the first time once or twice a day; after a month or so, she was getting a major erotic flash and the feeling of doing the forbidden, and finally really got to like it. ~~Warlock

warlock1935 -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 12:38:34 AM)
quote: I would have taken her anger and just held her and let her rant Amen to that, brother. I had to do that with Nikki last night. I noticed she didn't look like a happy camper, though she was trying to hide it (She's very new). When I gently insisted she talk to me, she finally flashed angry and started venting; I just kept it calm, held her and listened, and in a minute or two she was crying and apologizing, all the tension I'd been feeling was gone, and she was a happy little girl again.

WyldHrt -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 1:00:27 AM)
quote: You might also want to be prepared for your response. Mine was to completely shut down and we never got over that as a couple. The next person that tried that ended up with a black eye. This. I was never slapped in the face as a child, and have no emotional baggage about it... but I still had to stop myself from attempting to beat the crap out of the first Dom who thought slapping me in the face mid-scene with no warning was a good idea (as he was an MMA world champion, it would have been interesting if I had, lol). I went from the good kind of hot to seeing red in about 2.4 seconds, and neither of us expected that. The bottom line is that this type of play can bring emotional reactions that you can't predict and don't understand until it happens, if even then. I'm not saying that you shouldn't give it a try, BTW. Many here love it. I'm simply giving my experience and saying that not all activities are for everyone.

ShoreBound149 -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 2:13:08 AM)
I usually down a few boilermakers, close my eyes, do two full arm windmill revolutions and then launch an over hand right..... We call it "Haymaker" play To each their own....

forsaken555 -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 4:23:26 AM)
I actually enjoy being slapped. But it's all about pressure. I've never bruised from slapping. The Dom just needs to regulate his strength, and most of them should pretty know correct pressure for slapping face.

forsaken555 -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 4:27:43 AM)
I had a little further read on the other post, and interesting on the emotional response it may bring. Granted I was slapped horribly before as punishment by parents, but for some reason, I enjoy it in bdsm, it's degrading and abusive and it turns me on. On the other hand, as I was caned plenty when I was kid and hated it, I still hate the cane, and brings back bad memories. I've never been belted as a kid and I absolutely love being belted.

wandersalone -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 6:36:34 AM)
fast reply face slapping is something I thought I would hate but goddamn it is an activity that throws me into subspace incredibly fast [:)] I especially love it when there is a mix of the quick and intense pain from the open hand against my cheek followed quickly by tender caresses or kisses, usually while he is crooning something into my ear (slut, good girl...any of those things work) grins..... damn, I think I need to go see a man about a dog.......

crazyml -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 7:07:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Here is the thing many don't get, forget the physical intensity, look at the emotional aspect of it. Someone already mentioned it shut them down emotionally, this is serious play. For many, Aileen aside, you don't even need to do anything but raise your hand as if to hit and many will get a huge emotional reaction just from that. I don't hit as hard as Aileen speaks of and yet I get HUGE reactions from it because it is very much not the physicality of hitting the face but the whole taboo bit about it. I tend to just tap the face with my fingers and I get as much reaction as I would with a hard hit of a cane. Same goes for breath play, I don't tend to do it much but I always do it. I don't wrap my fingers around their necks and squeeze till they spasm and collapse anymore, doing that once was enough for me. Placing your hands around a woman's neck without any pressure is intense enough to cause those with issues to react strongly, even to the point of freaking out. Which brings me to what are called "emotional landmines", hidden psychological triggers from past issues or whatever that even the person who has them doesn't know about them. I once took my belt off and did the loop thing where you pull and they slap together to make a loud noise. Women went almost catatonic on me because her daddy did that before beating her. OOPS! Here is where newbies fuck up. She got all pissed at me but that anger was because of her dad. I then got all pissed at her for getting pissed at me. BIG FIGHT. The reality is it wasn't anyone's fault and if I had been more experienced, I would have taken her anger and just held her and let her rant. If she had a LOT more expereience, cause its HARD when it is YOUR emotional issue that just blew up, to say "what the fuck was THAT about" and laugh it off, or cry or whatever without turning that reaction into blame. SO, start slow, start softly, and watch for reactions because it is very edgy stuff for a lot of people. Quality post. Personally, I enjoy face slapping, but never slap hard enough to cause damage - It's the shock, and the fact that "I've done it" that creates the reaction I'm looking for.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 7:44:49 AM)
quote: Which brings me to what are called "emotional landmines", hidden psychological triggers from past issues or whatever that even the person who has them doesn't know about them. I once took my belt off and did the loop thing where you pull and they slap together to make a loud noise. Women went almost catatonic on me because her daddy did that before beating her. OOPS! To the OP: Michael is absolutely right here. Pretty much any thing that is in what we do can be an emotional landmine (great phrase). Being careful and starting slowly and trying something light and then looking at reactions (yours and the M-types) are a good way to do anything new. Some folks may want to be the giver in this kind of play, but once having done find it's not their cup of tea. Nothing wrong with that either. I imagine the reality is quite different from the fantasy of it. Good on you for asking first. Good luck, and have fun! sunshine

Aileen1968 -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 1:44:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149 I usually down a few boilermakers, close my eyes, do two full arm windmill revolutions and then launch an over hand right..... We call it "Haymaker" play To each their own.... Hahahaha. I can actually picture you doing just that. So this morning we're hanging in the bedroom and Shore asks me to refill his coffee. I lean over to get the cup and close my eyes and pucker up for a kiss. Open my eyes just in time to see the arm swinging through the air. Score! Direct hit! I burst into a fit of giggles for the next ten minutes. It was so unexpected, hard and yet completely light hearted and amusing. Sometimes the context is everything... Plus he said it was just the perfect target the way I put my face out there expecting a kiss on the lips that he couldn't resist. Have I mentioned lately that I'm completely in love with this man?????

Jeffff -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 2:02:03 PM)
I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to slap the shit out of you.... not sexualy... but just ...slap the shit out of you. I thought you should know

Aileen1968 -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 2:07:03 PM)
sexually

Jeffff -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 2:10:19 PM)
That's one of the reasons why

Aileen1968 -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 2:16:12 PM)
You'll be happy to know that his favorite thing to say to me is "shaddup" I think I may talk too much....

Jeffff -> RE: Face Slapping Help? (5/28/2010 2:20:31 PM)
I am shocked!

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