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LadyAngelika -> RE: I Don't Think They Intended THIS (5/27/2010 6:56:12 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OrpheusAgonistes
quote:
So, since this is supposed to be a discussion where everyone can participate, I'm going to let you fine folks do what I feel I am lacking. Pick something in the world of BDSM and/or your dynamic, and discuss what it feels like. It can be anything from how your skin feels when it is impacted by a cane, what stirs inside you when you look into the eyes of your submissive, or any other thing that has to do with your world of BDSM. The only thing that I ask for in your contribution is that it be, not what you think it feels like, but what you know it feels like.
Great question, and I've loved the responses so far.
One thing that sends tiny earthquakes through my nerves every time is when a partner pauses during a beating to reflect on her work and decide where to go from there. The early stages of being bound and beaten tend to whiz past in a euphoric flux. The point when she pauses, looks over her work on my body, and starts toying around deciding how she wants to hurt me next is like a still point in the middle of a beautiful and violent storm. This is when emotions coalesce and I start to babble. I babble elegantly, but I do babble. If the dynamic is right, this is when the most urgent need I have is to show my devotion to her. It's a feeling I never understood until I'd had the experience, and can never recapture in contemplation but only in real time, when it's really happening. The feeling is too slippery to get a grasp on to explain in words--it's just that right at that moment it becomes blindingly apparent that the thing she wants to be doing most is hurting me and that she understands the degree to which suffering for her is an expression of devotion and adoration.
Very, very hot.
And I would say that for me it is the flip side. I feed off the energy, off the reactions, off the feedback, off the intensity of the moment. I feel like a sculptor with an uncarved block that I chisel at (not literally). I take my time, I savour, I am methodical. Nothing else exists in that moment other than me and the one before me (which is why I cannot do public play) and nothing else in the world matters. I like to push things, I like to see what I can get away with, I want to see how much he can take for me, is willing to try and take for me, his discomfort and vulnerability bringing out a very cruel and lustful, yet paradoxically very, very loving, creature in me.
There is also in that moment this feeling that there are no more masks, no more facades, no more acting cool or aloof, but pure rawness which leads to a much deeper and honest understanding of one another.
It's truly beautiful and powerful.
- LA
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