RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 4:07:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
So what are your thoughts about some things being "fake" and some "real"?

my thoughts are this: Nothing is fake to those who are into it. The great thing about bdsm is there are so many choices and everyone does not have to be "into" the same thing. Those who insist that one thing is fake and something else is not are intolerant people that i don't want to know. If there is something/someone that's fake, it's someone who lies to him/herself and other people.

~sweetsub~



thishereboi -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 4:11:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

quote:


For you. For me, I have a difficult time understanding how D/s or being a bottom would be fulfilling for me. Actually, I will go even farther to say it would be impossible for me to have a D/s relationship with him or be his bottom with him only having authority within play. We would be extremely unhappy and stressed trying to be something that we are not.


Knight's Kyra


Perfect. But for most people M/s is far harder to grasp then BDSM and D/s.



And you know this how?



kiwisub12 -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 4:11:30 AM)

I have never noticed that "most" of the lifestyle types have called the rest "fakes".

I never noted the "fakes"calling anyone else "fakes".

I think there were a broad set of assumptions in the OP's post that really doesn't pan pan out. I don't understand long distance relationships - i think they are a bit delusional, but i wouldn't deny the reality of their feelings.

Seems to me everyone reaches the level they are comfortable with, and that is where they stay.



SocratesNot -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 4:11:39 AM)

quote:

So anyone who likes something different than the op is somehow 'pushing themselves' and deliberately making themselves uncomfortable? Oy veh!


Not true. Not anyone - just some of them. But, yes, some really do it.

As long as it is fully consensual, the consent is given of sound mind and full knowledge, and no one is harmed permanently - this is perfectly OK and NOT FAKE.

"FAKE" does not exist. Only liars are fake.

Whoever does whatever he does because he like it, he is not fake.



sunshinemiss -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 4:22:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: afkarr

I'll let you in on a little helpful tidbit, SN- the "lifestyle" crowd tends to view those of us in the kinky sex crowd, i.e. "bedroom" Doms and subs- as not quite as "real" as them, we just "players" and the ever so popular "fakes". It's just the way it is. The only thing that really matters is whether your relationship dynamics are working for you and your partner. If the opinions of others don't directly impact you, ignore them.



Hello afkarr,
I don't know that to be true a bit. I know at least 4 people, regular posters, who do in fact talk about themselves as more "kinky" than "life style". I have not seen the lifestyle folks call others fake who are somewhere else on the continuum. I have, however, seen them call people who make ten profiles fake or guys who pretend to be women fakes or someone who says they want the whole 24 / 7 locked in a cage thing ... well really they just say "get out into the real world and out of the fantasy one".

What I've often noticed is the people who are M-types who don't actually know how to pay attention to the s-types or vice versa in a way that makes sense for the self identified roles.

I do see people being pretty dang blatant about honesty, communication, clarity. I see that more as a "to thine ownself be true" admonishment than anything else.



sunshinemiss -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 4:24:49 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

C'mon people it is perfectly OK to be top or bottom.
It's perfectly OK to be interested just in some kinky play.
It's perfectly OK to be interested just in sessions.
It's perfectly OK to be submissive just in sex.
It's perfectly OK to be a fetishist.
It's perfectly OK to be a switch.
It's perfectly OK to be just kinky, without any official "role".
etc.... I hope you get it.

Nothing of these things make you any less real BDSM-er. Nothing of these things make you "fake".
So what are your thoughts about some things being "fake" and some "real"?




Hello S,
I've removed a few sentences that I think I'm going to have to consider or else I have outright disagreed with.

I agree with the rest of what you are saying here.

I just think people have different things they like. None of that makes them fake - it makes them different form me.

Best,
sunshine



jbcurious -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 4:27:59 AM)

Honestly...who the hell cares?

I'm not in this to impress anyone by the fact that I wish to submit to a man in a relationship, or that I enjoy a bit of kink...I'm here simply to find that partner and to meet people who share and understand some of my needs.

What ever name you want to give it doesn't matter...if there were a code of belonging...I wouldn't wish to follow it.

Everyone is here for their own reasons, fulfilling their own desires...and "belonging" means nothing.



sirsholly -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 6:18:36 AM)

quote:

C'mon people it is perfectly OK to be top or bottom.
It's perfectly OK to be interested just in some kinky play.
It's perfectly OK to be interested just in sessions.
It's perfectly OK to be submissive just in sex.
It's perfectly OK to be a fetishist.
It's perfectly OK to be a switch.
It's perfectly OK to be just kinky, without any official "role".
etc.... I hope you get it.

Nothing of these things make you any less real BDSM-er. Nothing of these things make you "fake".
oh thank heavens you are taking the time to validate us!!!

What we ever did before your silly ass showed up... telling us what BDSM is all about...i will NEVER know!!



Jeffff -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 6:21:02 AM)

I determine what is and what is not ok.

That's right ME!

It's about time someone stood up and dealt with this. I am willing to do so.

Feel free to c-mail me with your twisted practices and I'll let you know.



sunshinemiss -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 6:37:25 AM)

Jeff, my fingers hurt too much. Perhaps I could just webcam an example?



GreedyTop -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 6:37:55 AM)

Jefffffffffff. darlingest anteater,, you would FREAK if I did what you said in that last post ;)



Jeffff -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 6:38:29 AM)

Ok, but I am already pretty sure you are a sick fuck. Still, I suppose one can't be too careful

:)



sunshinemiss -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 6:40:53 AM)

Taking one for the team. You are such a great giver.



allthatjaz -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 6:57:11 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot


"FAKE" does not exist. Only liars are fake.




So if fake doesn't exist, liars can't exist either!

my interpretation of online 'fake' is; Someone who is married but tells a potential partners he/she is single. Someone who plans and promises to make a rl commitment when they actually don't have any intention of doing that. Someone who puts a picture of his/her daughter up but lets people think its him/her. Someone who is 53 but lets people think he/she is 23.

These people lead people on through their fantasy world of deceit. They have something greatly lacking in their lives and so create an illusion of how they want to be and how they want others to see them. These people are liars and these people are faking it.



SocratesNot -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 7:02:18 AM)

OK, you are  fake only if you lie. Whatever else you do without lying, you are not fake. That's what I meant.



LadyAngelika -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 7:12:38 AM)

Not everything or everyone fits into neat little boxes SN. I'd consider that you might stop being so concerned with other's level of *trueness* or *fakeness* but rather look into what it is that you want to get out of all this and find someone who you match with.

- LA



SocratesNot -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 7:20:25 AM)

quote:

Not everything or everyone fits into neat little boxes SN. I'd consider that you might stop being so concerned with other's level of *trueness* or *fakeness* but rather look into what it is that you want to get out of all this and find someone who you match with.

- LA


I am not talking about any little boxes. I just say "as long as you don't lie - you are not fake". That's all.
I am not at all concerned about trueness and fakeness.
Fakeness does not exist at all in any relationship where people don't lie.
What kind of practice you pursue in WIITWD has absolutely nothing to do with trueness and fakeness.
Only deception makes someone fake. Period.



SocratesNot -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 7:22:36 AM)

quote:

look into what it is that you want to get out of all this and find someone who you match with.


I agree with this part. I will try to look for someone, that is compatible with me.



Jeffff -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 7:25:24 AM)

Guess what? No one cares if you agree.

I hope that free's you



LadyAngelika -> RE: Glory to "fake" BDSM-ers (5/28/2010 7:35:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

quote:

Not everything or everyone fits into neat little boxes SN. I'd consider that you might stop being so concerned with other's level of *trueness* or *fakeness* but rather look into what it is that you want to get out of all this and find someone who you match with.

- LA


I am not talking about any little boxes. I just say "as long as you don't lie - you are not fake". That's all.
I am not at all concerned about trueness and fakeness.
Fakeness does not exist at all in any relationship where people don't lie.
What kind of practice you pursue in WIITWD has absolutely nothing to do with trueness and fakeness.
Only deception makes someone fake. Period.



Truth is not black and white. So by saying as long as you don't lie, you are not a fake is putting people in little boxes.

People lie all the time, sometimes they are innocuous little lies. Sometimes they are lies to protect people. None of this makes someone less authentic. It makes them human.

- LA



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.0625