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RE: awkward situation - 5/28/2010 3:19:57 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

Being a slave isn't easy - it's very hard at times, and the hardest thing is putting your "self" aside at moments when your Master's pleasure comes first. Yes, i'll probably get some flack for this, but it's just how it is. You have to put on your big girl panties, suck it up, and serve him - because that is what you signed up to do when you became his slave. if he releases you for another submissive because he decides that he likes her more after a casual fling - well, then you have your answer about what his real intentions are, and if your service is of such little value to him, then why would you be trying to force him to accept it?

I completely agree. An outside force CANNOT break a relationship unless the ones involved choose for it.

Thank you.

quote:

quote:

Being a slave isn't about the slave - it's about the Owner.

This I disagree with. Being a slave is about truth of SELF, it just so happens that the truth comes from a dynamic in which the master/owner has ultimate authority in all things.

i can agree with that as well. i see them as two different facets of the same dynamic, really. But that's a different thread.

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 21

RE: awkward situation - 5/28/2010 3:22:37 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

I don't know that there's any indication someone wanted to split up the relationship. If I was looking to ONLY play with a couple, it would be the Dom I would be talking to first and a sub sending me emails demanding that I recognize their dynamic which isn't necessarily important in the context of play only wouldn't go over for me either.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 5/28/2010 3:31:42 PM >

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Post #: 22

RE: awkward situation - 5/28/2010 6:56:24 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I have played casually with 4 poly couples in the past, and I always made a point of connecting with both of them and developing a friendship before getting into play. My playpartner is married to someone who is mostly vanilla. While my Master and I were together, she and I primarily played together, and he sometimes joined us. The three of us or she and I also went out and did vanilla things together frequently. It really sounds like this lady doesn't fit what you are looking for (friendship and playpartner primarily with you, with some contact with him). I'd be very suspicious of her if I were in your shoes. If your Master insists on continuing contact with her over your objections, I'd be very concerned about that as well.

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Post #: 23

RE: awkward situation - 5/28/2010 7:56:38 PM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

Yep, we are a "couple seeking" and have run into the same sort of girl- who is really only looking for a Dom, not a sister submissive, and sees you- consciously or unconsciously- as competition to be replaced.

Luckily we let those ones walk.

(in reply to slava)

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Post #: 24

RE: awkward situation - 5/28/2010 8:07:06 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

I wouldn't want my two male subs chatting without my input.
It's actually a very enjoyable dynamic [aka 'really hot'] when two good, straight and subbie men are different and competitive in sexual Service [of course, this wouldn't work in a poly LTR, these were just about the fabulous sex of mmF].
But I recognise it can be really hard for a good straight subbie man to handle, so I've learned to choose both men well.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 25

RE: awkward situation - 5/29/2010 3:56:02 AM

slava

Posts: 9
Status: offline

many of yr answers is what went thru my mind. Its amazing, its like all my assumptions have been put down in black and white.

Yes, i did think she was only interested in him. however the thought of breaking us up didnt really get to me, because i trust my Master and He would never break up with me after soo many years (7.5yrs now) for someone new. i self talked, telling myself to stop feeling so 'insecure'.

We have played with many females in the past, and the reason why this is so awkward is that its actually the first time a female doesnt wanna have any contact wiht me. im just a type of girl that doesnt adapt well to changes, to differences.

i also felt that after i tried to talk to her online a few times, she didnt wanna talk to me... cos she was online and just plainly not responding.

but she could have told my Master instead of being quiet about it and making me make up all those things in my head. i also did feel that me telling her off in a polite way (told her to tell me if she's not interested) may have pissed her off, pressured her, or affect her attitude later on.

this is a first for me, to deal with subs like this, but i am so prepared now (mentally) and understanding, that not all subs who will join us, need to be friends with me, they dont need to talk to me.

im just used to arranging meetings and getting to know someone first then passing on the info to Master who has less time to go online, that it just felt all too weird.

anyways, she didnt respond to Master's invitation for this weekend, so i take it she may have realized we are not what she seeks. btw she seeked something long term also, so its another reason it bothered me a bit..

i realized, even though ive been with my Master, how much i need to trust my Master in order to achieve peace of mind. i do trust Him but we are humans and we have these emotions that get to us.

another thing i realized is that unlike Master, or maybe her (cos i hardly know this girl), i feel more comfortable if there is some friendship or warmth from the other person joining us. reading the posts here, not everyone is like that. thats ok..

i feel so much better from everyone's answers, ALL of them.. there was not one bad answer.. ok except for the guy who called my Master dumb.. lol...
thank you all for yr support.

(in reply to Tantriqu)

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Post #: 26

RE: awkward situation - 5/29/2010 5:15:46 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Just one more thing, slava. Not every sub who claims they are desiring a LTR with a couple are desiring that relationship. to some, this is all a head game to see how much control they can exert. When it comes down to putting their body where their mouth is, its splitsville time.

Thankfully, you found out now and not later. But as someone else pointed out, please, be careful. This one got this close, the next may get closer.

take care and i wish you luck on your journey!

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Post #: 27

RE: awkward situation - 5/29/2010 9:25:17 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slava
im just a type of girl that doesnt adapt well to changes, to differences.

SO you're already starting handicapped.

quote:

making me make up all those things in my head

OK that needs to stop now, she didn't MAKE you do anything of the sort, you chose to let yourself run about with that Own that for yourself.

quote:

i also did feel that me telling her off in a polite way (told her to tell me if she's not interested) may have pissed her off, pressured her, or affect her attitude later on.

So you admit now you were telling her off and THEN surprised you got the response you did?

quote:

anyways, she didnt respond to Master's invitation for this weekend, so i take it she may have realized we are not what she seeks. btw she seeked something long term also, so its another reason it bothered me a bit.

Well it depends on how the invitation was sent- this is a holiday weekend in the US and generally not a good idea to send casual invites last minute if you want a response.

Was it obvious from the start she was seeking long term? If so, why did you bother to contact her at all?

quote:

another thing i realized is that unlike Master, or maybe her (cos i hardly know this girl), i feel more comfortable if there is some friendship or warmth from the other person joining us. reading the posts here, not everyone is like that. thats ok..

That's also NOT "no strings attached" so it sounds like you guys need to work more on clarifying exactly what it is you do want from others. This girl could be a blessing to point out all the false assumptions you've been making and showing you places to strengthen together.

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Post #: 28