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how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 8:27:47 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		In the last year i have been approached several times by Doms, out of the blue, who just figured out i was submissive. It was at work, by customers or coworkers, who i had barely spoken to. The first time, it was before i even knew i was submissive myself. That strikes me as odd. Can You guys see submission? Can You "spot" a submissive on the street? How do You broach the subject with a stranger? i think it's very strange. i could not "spot" a Dom. On the contrary, they are often the very last people i would expect. Any information would be much appreciated.

p.s. i should add that i'm very quiet and hard working, but i'm not aware of acting "submissive" at work. However, i have been told that i'm "mysterious", and i have a tendency to get picked on or taken advantage of a lot.
pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 6/2/2010 8:47:30 PM >
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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 8:35:32 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		You spot them with a black sharpie.

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 8:36:53 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		Hahaha. i see.

pam

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 8:37:26 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		and crops and whips and canes...oh my!

Seriously, that's just silly. Personality and role can be two totally different things and submissive personalities don't necessarily mean they would engage in d/s or bdsm at all.

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 8:37:33 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I use the i-sub app on my i-phone. 

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 8:39:01 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		Some women just seem to brocast it by their body language and demeaner, while not fool proof it can be an indicater.

I found my first slave working in a gas station that way, it was like she had a stamp on her forehead "submissive" and after talking to her for several days, her asking me if i was a dominant male clenched it. Now the thing was she had never heard or been exposed to any of this, this was before widespread net use and aol charged by the minute.

Lions can spot the lame weildebeast out of a herd of may thousands, it may be like that.

So the answer to your question is yes.

< Message edited by osf -- 6/2/2010 8:40:41 PM >

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 8:46:26 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		The first coffeehouse guy asked me, "Are you German? You have a very disciplined personality."

Then He asked me to remake His drink.

pam

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 8:51:27 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		It's all in the shades. Whenever I sport the Jackie O's they know what I am.

~porcelaine


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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 8:52:19 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		uummm....it's your job to remake his drink I assume.

and he asked if you were german because you seem disciplined sounds like a thinly veiled comment about nazism to me.

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 9:19:42 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Perhaps it's because you instantly submitted to them and accepted their collar after two phone calls?

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 9:38:05 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		When I go to clubs, I try to spot which of a couple is the sub or Dom; never had any consistent luck.

Its like gaydar- if someone has obvious characteristics, sure, but if they are behaving normally, its pretty difficult.

But that only makes sense- human sexuality isn't as simple or binary as we like to imagine.

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 9:42:31 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Perhaps it's that you drink your apple juice from a thermos shaped like a dildo?

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 9:51:51 PM   
Ishtarr


Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		I really hope that they can't spot them... it would have to make me doubt myself.
People always seem to assume I'm dominant when they find out I'm into kink...
And I'm really really not dammit! *hits the table with her fist*

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Ein kleiner Schnitt und du wirst geil
Egal, erlaubt ist, was gefällt

Ich tu' dir weh.
Tut mir nicht Leid!
Das tut dir gut.
Hör wie es schreit!

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 10:11:21 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		On the surface I appear fairly conservative and have a "take charge" manner. Most people only see this until they get to know me... but every once in a while I run into someone intuitive enough to see past it. I don't know what it is they pick up on but I love when it happens.

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 11:04:58 PM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		I think I can smell them. It could well be a hormonal pheromone thing. It could be body language, but I just know, she can quickly find out in any group of men, which would want to play her games too. God knows, she finds them easily enough. The truth is that we are always looking for them, and it's so much more fun to be someone's first kinky experience. The chase is defintely as much fun as the catch.

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 11:05:55 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		said some, not all and it is usually the ones that are super shy wall flowers, not to say all wall flowers are submissive

it is just to say that some if you watch them a while you (I) get a sense of what they are.

as an example i was visiting my first slave at work once and this cute young thing came up to the counter and asked for a candy bar, the way she waklked and spoke and even was dressed piqued my interest, so when she asked for the candy i abruptly said NO!, her imediate responce was to say " please" not fuck you.

< Message edited by osf -- 6/2/2010 11:08:05 PM >

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/2/2010 11:42:32 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		My job in spotting "submissives" is made easier by the fact that I am looking for submissive personalities. It's easy to see that... it crops up in any interaction I have with them. Trying to find a person who was submissive in relationship orientation would be nigh unto impossible without directly asking.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/3/2010 12:15:35 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

as an example i was visiting my first slave at work once and this cute young thing came up to the counter and asked for a candy bar, the way she waklked and spoke and even was dressed piqued my interest, so when she asked for the candy i abruptly said NO!, her imediate responce was to say " please" not fuck you.

Good move there, osf. If some random jerk had said that to me, a customer, in a store setting, 'fuck you' would have been the mild end of my response.  If I saw someone 'visiting' an employee of mine during working hours do such a thing, said employee would be in fairly deep shit.


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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
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Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/3/2010 1:23:00 AM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		It's really sexy every time happens: a stranger overhears a remark I've made or I like something he's said or done, our eyes meet, he holds my gaze and smiles, we approach each other, and pretty soon we're chatting in code then NOT in code and he's telling me of how he's Served before.
It just amazes the few of my 'civilian' friends who know I'm a Domme.
I realise it's probably mutual admiration of attitude, vocabulary and ethics, but I like to think it's like a Jacobsen's gland and I can smell their scent: probably a mix of intelligence, pheremones, kneepads and Astroglide.

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RE: how do You spot a submissive? - 6/3/2010 2:29:15 AM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline 		I've always used the "subcall"

~~Here Slutty slutty slut slut.

I have also use my slavedar. It's like Gaydar but spots slaves. When turned on however it has a hard time telling the difference between slaves and 3rd shift Denny's Waitresses.

Then there is the proven Method of WHACKING them on the ass with a stiff hand or paddle and those who ask for another one can usually be coaxed into handcuffs or clubbed over the head and dragged back to a cave.

The BEST method of spotting them for me has been to flirt WILDLY, ask them if I can tie them to my bed and let my wife have her way with them, then I give them my phone number and wait for the call. Sometimes this takes a return visit but once the waitress realizes that we are serious we can usually get a call in a week or so.

In the end the method you use may vary but I suggest doing everything you can and preying you don't get arrested.

So Who here works at Denny's?

QSM

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