RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (Full Version)

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LadyNTrainer -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/4/2010 12:11:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
Write me down as one who thinks online domination is potentially more exciting than F2F, the reason being that it requires maximum communication skills and imagination, two things that physical contact sometimes over powers or muffles.

Also, keeping things online means the Domme can be more dominant and the sub can be more submissive -- in a dungeons & dragons flight of fantasy way. In this sense, the real world can't even compete.


I don't know as it would be *more* exciting, but it does open up some awesome possibilities for delving into shared fantasy realms.  In my triad, all three of us are pretty hardcore nerdly fantasy roleplaying gamers, and two of us are published authors in the industry.  We've done some interactive erotic story writing and a bit of online roleplaying here and there, and exploring creative fantasy realms together can be a really amazing amount of fun. 

Some of the specific kind of fear play that my secondary partner enjoys can't really be done without invoking some fantasy, so we do use fantasy settings and characters in real life roleplaying also.  Within the boundaries of the scene, I can threaten to do a lot more than is actually practical (or safe, or sane) to do in real life, and we both feel that suspension of disbelief works better when you're inside a fantasy character's head.  I still think it's hotter to do this kind of fantasy roleplaying in real life, with the understanding that nobody is really going to be branded on the forehead with a red hot cattle iron or have body parts chopped off.   But there's a whole lot to be said for good, creative, high quality interactive storytelling online as well, and not necessarily as just a substitute for face to face play. 

What I'm talking about is a whole other realm from the typical lowbrow cybersexx0rs crap, obviously.  And most people aren't going to have the interest, let alone the creative writing skills, to pull it off.  Usually you'll see stuff more like this (oh yeah, Bloodninja FTW) than what I'm describing.  But when you do have a couple of reasonably skilled creative writers playing together online, some pretty goddamn hot stuff can result.  It's not for everyone, but if you're wired to appreciate creativity, it can be remarkably gratifying to play this way with a partner.




AAkasha -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/4/2010 12:27:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer


I don't know as it would be *more* exciting, but it does open up some awesome possibilities for delving into shared fantasy realms.  In my triad, all three of us are pretty hardcore nerdly fantasy roleplaying gamers, and two of us are published authors in the industry.  We've done some interactive erotic story writing and a bit of online roleplaying here and there, and exploring creative fantasy realms together can be a really amazing amount of fun. 

Some of the specific kind of fear play that my secondary partner enjoys can't really be done without invoking some fantasy, so we do use fantasy settings and characters in real life roleplaying also.  Within the boundaries of the scene, I can threaten to do a lot more than is actually practical (or safe, or sane) to do in real life, and we both feel that suspension of disbelief works better when you're inside a fantasy character's head.  I still think it's hotter to do this kind of fantasy roleplaying in real life, with the understanding that nobody is really going to be branded on the forehead with a red hot cattle iron or have body parts chopped off.   But there's a whole lot to be said for good, creative, high quality interactive storytelling online as well, and not necessarily as just a substitute for face to face play. 

What I'm talking about is a whole other realm from the typical lowbrow cybersexx0rs crap, obviously.  And most people aren't going to have the interest, let alone the creative writing skills, to pull it off.  Usually you'll see stuff more like this (oh yeah, Bloodninja FTW) than what I'm describing.  But when you do have a couple of reasonably skilled creative writers playing together online, some pretty goddamn hot stuff can result.  It's not for everyone, but if you're wired to appreciate creativity, it can be remarkably gratifying to play this way with a partner.



Absolutely agree.  When I see people bashing any kind of "cyber" anything, whether it be email exchanges or online domination, I think many either don't get it or lack the creativity around it; I don't think cyber or online anything is a REPLACEMENT for in the flesh S&M (which is core to my happiness), but it's an awesome, awesome supplement.

But then again, I have always been a big fan of writing, imagination, fantasy and storytelling.  Still, to this day, I make partners "tell me a story" sometimes, or write me a story.  Good writers can get me pretty hot and wet with a story or the written word. 

I wonder if the backlash has to do with the demanding, instantaneous, impatience "do me do me do me now, must have erection, must get instant satisfaction" genre/culture.  I love the process of communication.  I love the evolution of words when they are exchanged; I love flirting with text (not to be confused with text messages).

I found a bunch of boxes when cleaning and one of them had hand written "love letters" from high school that I received from various boyfriends.  Every single boyfriend I had in high school I "forced" to write me letters every single day.  Hand written and delivered to my locker. I also found notebooks where we'd write stories back and forth, continuations of things.  That was pre-Internet - but it's basically the same thing as what people scoff at today as "cybersex."  It's not a replacement for intimacy or sex, it's foreplay.  Nothing more, nothing less.  If a man can't get my panties wet with the creation of an image in my mind, he's probably not cerebral enough to keep me interested in bed.

Akasha




seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/4/2010 1:23:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer


I don't know as it would be *more* exciting, but it does open up some awesome possibilities for delving into shared fantasy realms. 


Absolutely agree.  ....

I don't think cyber or online anything is a REPLACEMENT for in the flesh S&M (which is core to my happiness), but it's an awesome, awesome supplement.

I make partners "tell me a story" sometimes, or write me a story. 

{Other content deleted ... because it is not necessary to repeat it}



my hat is off to both of You on this topic. To me ... what You are both saying is an excellent technique ... and a sure fire way to get inside a man's head.

In my life ... the barely handful of Ladies, who ever made an impression ... appealed to my prolific writing ability.

And Ladies who do employ it have captivated me ... mentally, emotionally and eventually physically. (If they wanted to.)

There is nothing more enrapturing than to write a Lady.

As one is thinking of Her for a long period of time. She begins to permeate the mind ... and seduce the emotions ...

one develops a deep sense of closeness ... that makes the physical ... so much more!

And i know how vunerable i am to this technique. Extremely vunerable.

That said, i do watch the subject matter with Female Friends ... yet i know that is a defense mechanism that goes up ... when a real life relationship is out of the question.




cloudboy -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/4/2010 1:44:42 PM)

quote:

Fair enough.

So how many long term relationships have you had with someone via online domming, and how long did they last?


Nothing substantive really happened beyond IMs and Emails, but in the old days of AOL chatrooms and Yahoo Instant messenger I had some interesting times. There was a kind of radical freedom there: from gender, age, marriage, inhibitions, financial troubles, disease, body issues etc.

In the end I felt that "stuff was out there," and that other kinky people walked the earth.

I may never have known what was "real," but blessedly reality did not matter -- for it was a cyber world.

Never did CAM, that shit came along well after dial up.

-----

I would also say that "online" gets old fast and that its not particularly nourishing long run or long term.




cloudboy -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/4/2010 1:48:47 PM)

quote:

cloudboy: you make a valid point. But you must know that while most females who weighed in DO like some online play, most only engage in it with men they already have established relationships with me. For instance, I have had subs who were in the military. Of course the military has a long history of separating lovers for war, military classes, training exercises, you name it. In those instances when I was separated from someone whom I cared for, online play was very good. But most women will get nothing out of dominating a man online whom they have not met and have no real connection to.


Yes, online-relationships are a different animal; I think they could work under the right circumstances but aren't particularly competitive with F2F.




youngandjaded1 -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/4/2010 2:34:44 PM)

I have yet to meet any that actually enjoy it. Online is really second best to the real thing. If a Domme wants a male sub, she could find one online any time she wants - she doesn't have to settle for cyber if she doesn't want to.




MstrPBK -> RE: Online Dominantion: Do any lifestyle Dommes enjoy it (6/4/2010 2:38:25 PM)

the line "online domination" simply says to me how far can one fake it - in either direction.
... and do not get me going on the phrase "cash Master / slave"

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA




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