RE: Being Happy...

RE: Being Happy... (Full Version)

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lucylucy -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 4:14:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious Do you view a partner as a convenience that enhances your life... or as an intregal part of your happiness? I think I'm having trouble with the "convenience" part. I want to answer "yes" to both parts of your question, but without "convenience" in there. Yes, my partner enhances my life, and yes, he is an integral part of my happiness. However, I also know that I can be very happy without a partner. I was extremely happy when I was single and I loved dating. I was also very happy for long stretches of my marriage, even when my marriage was falling apart. I'm generally a happy person. I'm no happier now with my partner than I was before I met him. I'm more contented, more relaxed, more satisfied, but not more happy. My life is very full and rewarding without a partner. This probably all sounds very contradictory (resisting the urge to add "maybe I'm full of shit").

pahunkboy -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 4:15:31 PM)
At times tho- people want what they cant have. If only this- if only that.

Icarys -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 4:22:52 PM)
Hate to sound cliche but in this it works..Happiness comes from the inside..from the person. I see others have said this already..I do not find this to be subjective. The convenience part is a little disturbing.

Icarys -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 4:25:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lucylucy quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious Do you view a partner as a convenience that enhances your life... or as an intregal part of your happiness? I think I'm having trouble with the "convenience" part. I want to answer "yes" to both parts of your question, but without "convenience" in there. Yes, my partner enhances my life, and yes, he is an integral part of my happiness. However, I also know that I can be very happy without a partner. I was extremely happy when I was single and I loved dating. I was also very happy for long stretches of my marriage, even when my marriage was falling apart. I'm generally a happy person. I'm no happier now with my partner than I was before I met him. I'm more contented, more relaxed, more satisfied, but not more happy. My life is very full and rewarding without a partner. This probably all sounds very contradictory (resisting the urge to add "maybe I'm full of shit"). I don't think you are in this case but I'm sure people will get all semantically panic-like with the comments...more satisfied, more relaxed and so on.

DarlingSavage -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 4:29:04 PM)
Happiness comes from helping others.

LittleBroken -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 4:33:21 PM)
I've made the mistake of hanging all my happiness on another person and I'm still trying to recover from building my whole world around them. Having this experience under my belt I can't advocate abdicating responsibility for your own happiness. This is even harder to do when in a submissive mindset. It can be darn hard to assert yourself and ask for what you want and outline what you don't want. As I said earlier I still struggle with this very thing.

jbcurious -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 4:39:36 PM)
This thread was to keep another thread from being hijacked... In the other thread the poster said that happiness came from within ...that if you derived happiness from an outside source such as a new car or girl your value system was bankrupt... they went on to say that a partner was like A/C in a room it made it more comfortable... Hence my use of the word convenience. Sorry I don't have cut and paste. I disagreed with what was said and created this thread to continue the conversation. I think that the reason the comments struck me the way they did is that it wasn't that long ago that I viewed relationships from how they were of benefit to me...rather then how much more fulfilling and to what greater degree you can experience happiness by also being of benefit to another. I think this need we have to be completly self sufficent in our happiness limits how open and vulnerable we are to others.

heartcream -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 4:43:35 PM)
Right now I am open to meeting whomever interests me. I am open to seeing how I respond to them and what they bring out in me. I do have my close friends who make me extremely happy. I feel entirely blessed to be loved the way I am by some of the most interesting people I have ever met. If I met a boy who wanted to be with me and I wanted to be with him that would make me super happy. For now though I am open to seeing who is out there, who wants to try me on and who I want to wear around me. Checking out the fit. I am a fairly happy single person sorting myself out. My favorite people make me beyond happy.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 4:44:06 PM)
Wow. He makes me incredibly happy. My children make me incredibly happy. My family makes me incredibly happy (sometimes). I can live without material things. People I cannot live without. It's people that make things worthwhile for me. Dogs and cats and guinea pigs and hamsters too.... I absolutely rely on others to bring joy to my life. I rely on myself as much, but it would be pointless to not be able to share that with those I love around me. I do not like being alone. I like alone time. That's completely different. But I do not like being alone. Being in love and loving those close to me is a key component to my happiness. I am happier since I've been with him. He enhances my life and I'm so lucky for that. Rambling....

DarlingSavage -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 4:45:23 PM)
Yes, you are and no you're not.

Icarys -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 5:04:58 PM)
quote: In the other thread the poster said that happiness came from within ...that if you derived happiness from an outside source such as a new car or girl your value system was bankrupt... they went on to say that a partner was like A/C in a room it made it more comfortable... Hence my use of the word convenience. Not to put people down but I think he/she may be onto something. I've seen a lot of people scurrying around collecting all manner of things that they do find happiness in but it's usually fleeting and seems less fulfilling than that of good company/friends and that seems less fulfilling than the contentedness I feel just being me. Alone with myself. How could I not be okay with that knowing I have plans to move to a remote land where the nearest person may be 100 miles away and may be spending the rest of my days like that. No rush feeling that I need someone to go with me. I love electronics. I get enjoyment from working on them and using them but they do not make me happy. I am happy that I have access to them and am able to do the things I want with them but that isn't the same as being happy with who you are..without anything whatsoever there to be happy about other than you. Maybe I haven't explained it to the depth it could be explained.I may not be the best at expressing my thoughts in type. I'm feeling a Zen moment while typing this.[:D]

jbcurious -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 5:23:33 PM)
As to material possesions... I completly agree that these are things which may bring convenience or pleasure to our lives and have a difficult time relating to those who derive happiness from aquiring them...but I honestly don't see how one puts relationships and people into the same category as material possesions.

Icarys -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 5:27:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious As to material possesions... I completly agree that these are things which may bring convenience or pleasure to our lives...but I honestly don't see how you put relationships and people into the same category as material possesions. I didn't..If you'll notice the tier structure?

jbcurious -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 5:33:13 PM)
Sorry that was a general "you" not personal...

Icarys -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 5:37:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious Sorry that was a general "you" not personal... No problem. Not sure how they'd implement it but I wish they didn't have our names in the next persons post linking back to us. "In reply to..(whoever)"

Aileen1968 -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 5:40:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious As to material possesions... I completly agree that these are things which may bring convenience or pleasure to our lives and have a difficult time relating to those who derive happiness from aquiring them...but I honestly don't see how one puts relationships and people into the same category as material possesions. A lot of people on this planet do just this...

Icarys -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 5:47:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious As to material possesions... I completly agree that these are things which may bring convenience or pleasure to our lives and have a difficult time relating to those who derive happiness from aquiring them...but I honestly don't see how one puts relationships and people into the same category as material possesions. A lot of people on this planet do just this... And the world is full of people who are about as self-aware as a turnip so what's your point?[:D]

Aileen1968 -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 5:54:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious As to material possesions... I completly agree that these are things which may bring convenience or pleasure to our lives and have a difficult time relating to those who derive happiness from aquiring them...but I honestly don't see how one puts relationships and people into the same category as material possesions. A lot of people on this planet do just this... And the world is full of people who are about as self-aware as a turnip so what's your point?[:D] She seemed a bit unaware that there were materialistic people...or at least unable to relate. Just thought I'd point out that there are a lot of people that equate happiness to having lots of stuff. Whether or not they're successful or not in finding happiness through those means is a whole other thread. [:D] right back at you.

Icarys -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 6:07:11 PM)
quote: She seemed a bit unaware that there were materialistic people...or at least unable to relate. Just thought I'd point out that there are a lot of people that equate happiness to having lots of stuff. Whether or not they're successful or not in finding happiness through those means is a whole other thread. right back at you. "Catches it in mid-air" Awwww so sweet!

DesFIP -> RE: Being Happy... (6/3/2010 6:11:53 PM)
Do you view a partner as a convenience that enhances your life... or as an integral part of your happiness? Both. Not a convenience but someone who enhances my life. If he didn't enhance it, how could he be an integral part of it? I was content before, but I'm a lot happier with him.

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