Dom learning

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Casperhere -> Dom learning (6/3/2010 1:08:33 PM)
Hello I am new to the BDSM scene. I am looking to learn how to be a better dom. I live in Calgary. I would like some one on one training. I am not looking to be dominated myself. I am looking to learn by watching. I am looking for serious replies only. Thank you, Casper

LadyPact -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 1:13:47 PM)
Why not join your local BDSM community?

SailingBum -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 1:22:58 PM)
The only leadership schools Im aware of are the military. BadOne

mistoferin -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 1:25:15 PM)
LadyPact is right, that is the best way. Get out, meet your local kinksters, go to a munch(just a dinner at a restaurant), they should be able to direct you to local parties or clubs where you can observe and talk to other folks who would be willing to "show you the ropes" so to speak.

mistoferin -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 1:42:30 PM)
This might be a good place to start... Calgary munches, events and gatherings

Casperhere -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 1:49:08 PM)
Thank you greatly. Casper

mistoferin -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 2:45:16 PM)
You're welcome. Just an FYI, when I put "Calgary" into the search box on there it came back with 42 related groups and over 2,000 kinksters who are from that area. You may want to do that and see if there is anything that better suits you as I'm not familiar at all with the area.

Casperhere -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 2:47:04 PM)
I appreciate that. I am a little apprehensive but eager to learn.

mistoferin -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 2:56:14 PM)
Well seriously, once you find a group and you have your first munch or party behind you, you will wonder why you were ever apprehensive in the first place. Everyone pretty much goes through it though.

Focus50 -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 3:24:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum The only leadership schools Im aware of are the military. Except that he expressly stated that he wasn't looking to be dominated, himself.... Focus.

Casperhere -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 3:27:16 PM)
Correct. I have no interest in joining the military. I took the comment by Sailing Bum to be meant to be funny.

Focus50 -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 3:40:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Casperhere Hello I am new to the BDSM scene. I am looking to learn how to be a better dom. I live in Calgary. I would like some one on one training. I am not looking to be dominated myself. I am looking to learn by watching. I am looking for serious replies only. Thank you, Casper I think one of the problems you're gonna find is that there are many things in life that simply can't be taught or learnt. Learning to be Dominant is akin to "learning" to be hetero (or gay), for eg.... Can't be done; you is or you isn't - end of story. OK, you're asking about being a better dom. But what does that mean? You mean technique, such as tying knots or using floggers etc? Because if you mean about D/s dynamics; of presentation; of setting standards and behavioural parameters etc, the only place you can learn that is with and from a submissive. Mostly what you'll learn from observing others is a few tricks and snappy lines that hit your individual buttons. Now your own submissive, even a first day newbie, is a whole other level of "teacher". THAT'S when D/s makes sense, that's what inspires and feeds your hunger to be "better". Go get yourself a girl.... Focus.

Focus50 -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 3:43:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Casperhere I took the comment by Sailing Bum to be meant to be funny. Lol, you really are new here.... Focus.

Casperhere -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 3:51:19 PM)
Great advice. I appreciate it. I was more concerned with the technique. She wanted to be flogged in a way that does not leave any sign that she had been flogged as she is married. I am not sure that this is possible. I will have to learn by trial and error. Once again, I appreciate the advice and the pep talk.

afkarr -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 5:11:34 PM)
http://www.seekers.org.uk/sitemap.htm#tech The above links tot he D/s seekers uk site techniques section, may be helpful. There are also discussion groups on every kinky/BDSM topic under the sun and then some at fetlife.

Andalusite -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 5:26:10 PM)
There are a lot of things you can do that will leave no or minimal markings, but it's hard to guarantee that you won't mark her. Bondage (unless done very tightly), hoods, nipple play, violet wands, mouth play (gags, clamps on the tongue), hand spanking (unless done very hard) and certain types of floggers such as bunny fur or hair extensions don't tend to bruise or otherwise leave any visible signs. There are probably classes in your area, both on topping (technique) and ideas and tools you can use to improve or develop a D/s or M/s dynamic. If she is married and cheating, I think you'd do better to try to find a different partner, rather than share in her dishonesty. My femsub playpartner is married, but I have met her husband a few times, and we stay within the boundaries that he has expressed. He has no problem with it if I happen to leave marks on her. Some of the books here may be useful to you, and "Two Knotty Boys" and some other S/M and bondage experts have short how-to video clips up.

Pyramus -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 6:17:12 PM)
I think the munches and dungeons are great ideas. Out here there are SOJ classes which you might be able to find way out there.

Andalusite -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 7:11:51 PM)
I think SOJ (Society of Janus) is based only in the SF Bay Area, but there are probably similar groups in Calgary. If you check out their calendar, they mention events from other groups and locations as well.

osf -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 7:16:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: Casperhere Hello I am new to the BDSM scene. I am looking to learn how to be a better dom. I live in Calgary. I would like some one on one training. I am not looking to be dominated myself. I am looking to learn by watching. I am looking for serious replies only. Thank you, Casper I think one of the problems you're gonna find is that there are many things in life that simply can't be taught or learnt. Learning to be Dominant is akin to "learning" to be hetero (or gay), for eg.... Can't be done; you is or you isn't - end of story. OK, you're asking about being a better dom. But what does that mean? You mean technique, such as tying knots or using floggers etc? Because if you mean about D/s dynamics; of presentation; of setting standards and behavioural parameters etc, the only place you can learn that is with and from a submissive. Mostly what you'll learn from observing others is a few tricks and snappy lines that hit your individual buttons. Now your own submissive, even a first day newbie, is a whole other level of "teacher". THAT'S when D/s makes sense, that's what inspires and feeds your hunger to be "better". Go get yourself a girl.... Focus. after a failed relationship or two you'll either learn or not, during this the best you can hope for is not to fuck the poor girl/s up too much and there ought to be a law no one should be allowed to learn to be a dom before thirty

DreamyLadySnow -> RE: Dom learning (6/3/2010 8:33:23 PM)
Caspherhere, there are several active groups in cgy, including play parties, munches and workshops. If you go to FetLife, there are a couple forums dedicated to Stampede City. You should be able to meet up with lots of locals.

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