RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (Full Version)

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porcelaine -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/4/2010 10:34:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bondmaid123

I'm not a fan of "Story of O" style submission where the brain no longer engages... but hey... if that's somebody's thing, well...


I'm curious why you believe the brain become disengaged merely because the individual yields in a manner you find unappealing. Perhaps you'd care to enlighten me.

~porcelaine



sexylady2010 -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 2:10:59 AM)

Hi there, I read your post and I'm saying drop him, you're a grown woman and there are other Dom's out there who won't order you to risk your reputation and safety. I'm 51 years old and I had a long distance Dom, I'm married so it was only online and he would try and push me to do things that would have risked my reputation, my marriage and my family, so I asked him to release me. Are you afraid you won't find another Dom? Do you like taking these risks? If you don't want to do what he tells you then leave him, you'll find someone better than him any day.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 4:55:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GraciousLady


quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Funny thing, there is no mention of being owned in your profile, just one long punishment fantasy, why is that? In fact your profile states you are looking.

Interesting. You wouldn't by any chance be pulling a fast one on us, would you?



The profile does not look like a womans at all IMO.


I'm not sure about that but it is nothing more than one long punishment fantasy which leads me to wonder if the OP is one big fantasy geared towards getting her off. What strengthens my suspicion is the fact that her profile states she is looking for a Dom/Master.



subsfaith -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 5:52:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bondmaid123

Hey, some people get off on dating asshats. Hooray. Pot meets lid. Yay for them.


I agree, some do. However, we are just getting one side of the story... and quite frankly, I don't buy it.  I think this is a case where the OP is being asked to do things that are out of her comfort zone, and everyone shouts asshat... hang on... she consented to this, how does that make him the bad one?

Whereas I can see you buy it all.  Demonstrating that we are all different.  What is an asshat to you, isn't to me.

Just to be clear I have broken the law and been asked to break the law within our dynamic, from consenting to a very dodgy case of assault to parking illegally while he popped to the bank. 

What are we actually talking about here... some public humiliation? Some exhibitionism?  People play with these all the time, does it make them an asshat... of course not!  The only thing I can see if some foolishness on both their parts in the first place for not discussing this, setting limits and getting on the same page. 



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 6:12:06 AM)

quote:

As to the legal, my ex owner ordered me to whore for him and it was not legal where we lived. Oh well. He owned my ass, I whored, he used my money, he was marvelous


You do realise that you were his prostitute right?  It's nothing to do with D/s or M/s it's prostitution plain and simple which imo is a whole nother thing from being ordered to have sex with other men the difference being money in exchange for sex.



LadyCimarron -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 6:48:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

There is difference in a partner enjoying his or her partner willingly doing an activity and a Dom ordering a sub to do something that is illegal and that the sub clearly does not want to do


Are we now saying a master is an idiot because he orders a slave to do something she clearly doesn't want to do? Let's go ahead and take that off the table because that's clearly irrelevant and idiotic.

As to the legal, my ex owner ordered me to whore for him and it was not legal where we lived. Oh well. He owned my ass, I whored, he used my money, he was marvelous.

This is where the chorus of "Oh you don't know how abused you were and how wrong he was" starts in- in other words "feel free to make your own relationship and consent to what you want UNTIL you reach the point we decide we aren't comfortable with, and then you're doing it wrong."


I never called anyone an idiot so let's not go there. I merely said it was different. (a master and slave ENJOYING an activity that they both want to do is different than a Master ORDERING a slave to engage in an activity. Not better- not worse but different) 
I was only noting that you did not pretend that someone MADE you do anything. You said he enjoyed you being with other partners. That's not MAKING you do it. I asked for clarity.

That being said, you did not whore because you were ordered to. You whored because you wanted to and him telling you to gave you the freedom to do that. As a grown woman you took on the legal risk and if you had gotten caught, you would (and should) have been arrested and jailed. If you chose to take that risk don't say you did it because you were ordered. You did it because it was your choice to do it.
I stated on another thread that a Master or Mistress cannot turn a slave or make them do anything. They can only bring out what is already there. But if one is a slave and is going to engage in illegal actions they should own that. Not complain that "my master makes me do illegal stuff" as the original poster did. Just own it.



laurell3 -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:20:09 AM)

wow this thread is out of control.

Everyone has their own version of risks that they will accept. It seems to me the OP is hesitant about the risks that her Dom is directing and he's not listening. In my opinion, yes, that makes him an idiot. However, I would not be in any dynamic where someone could direct such a thing to begin with and I am VERY clear up front about the risks I will and will not take. Trusting him to make decisions for me does yes, in fact mean they can't be idiotic decisions for me. And yes, when they are, I ain't following. And no, it is NOT necessarily true that "by definition a sub does what is required/told/asked." There is no one definition, period, and we have NO idea what the OP's definition is or what their overall agreement is or if they ever discussed it.

However, should she choose to take those risks, who cares? That's her choice.

It's not something I would personally ever do. The third party factor + possible arrest = well-defined, clearly expressed hard limit for me. But I certainly take risks as do most of us. Hers aren't mine, nor anyone else's. I really don't see anyone saying that here either.

And yes bear, imo the whoring thing CAN BE d/s if two parties agree on it, just like anything else.



xxblushesxx -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:30:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: subsfaith



What are we actually talking about here... some public humiliation? Some exhibitionism?  People play with these all the time, does it make them an asshat... of course not! 



If they are involving people into their kink on a non-consensual basis then yes. It does make them asshats.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:35:02 AM)

quote:

And yes bear, imo the whoring thing CAN BE d/s if two parties agree on it, just like anything else


How is that different from a prostitute agreeing to be a pimp's ho?



Jeffff -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:35:50 AM)

Seems to be a whole lot of sublier than thou stuff here.



laurell3 -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:37:10 AM)

Does it have to be different?






thishereboi -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:40:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

There is difference in a partner enjoying his or her partner willingly doing an activity and a Dom ordering a sub to do something that is illegal and that the sub clearly does not want to do


Are we now saying a master is an idiot because he orders a slave to do something she clearly doesn't want to do? Let's go ahead and take that off the table because that's clearly irrelevant and idiotic.

As to the legal, my ex owner ordered me to whore for him and it was not legal where we lived. Oh well. He owned my ass, I whored, he used my money, he was marvelous.

This is where the chorus of "Oh you don't know how abused you were and how wrong he was" starts in- in other words "feel free to make your own relationship and consent to what you want UNTIL you reach the point we decide we aren't comfortable with, and then you're doing it wrong."


Why would anyone say you were being abused. I am guessing you were an adult at the time, right? You made the decision to do what he said and you would have had to live with the consequences had you been caught. If you hadn't wanted to do it, you could have always left.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:41:46 AM)

If the pimp is presenting himself as a Dom/Master - and I'm not saying this is the case with LadyAlbatross - SHOULDN'T it be?



Jeffff -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:44:57 AM)

I have a thought here.... really...:)

A while ago we had the, " would you get naked in a restaurant if your master demanded it" thread.

Quite a few said, "without question".

If there is a difference here, it is one of degree.

And Zephy?..... I have ALWAYS liked you...... take a look at your second tag line.

DO you have a line you would not cross?



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:52:06 AM)

quote:

And Zephy?..... I have ALWAYS liked you...... take a look at your second tag line.

DO you have a line you would not cross?


I've always liked you too Jeffffffff [:)]

If my Master decided to pimp me out or some such thing you can bet your sweet anteater ass I would be out the door. His will is not things that would harm me so yes there is a line I wouldn't cross and he was well aware of that line before we hooked up. To tie in with the OP that includes things which are illegal and could get me arrested or seriously harmed physically or mentally.



Jeffff -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:53:29 AM)

I agree completely.



laurell3 -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 7:53:37 AM)

Yeah me too, but can you accept that isn't the case for everyone? or that they wouldn't find the pimping thing to be harmful for them?



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 8:04:49 AM)

Of course I can though I can't help but wonder how many of them are fooling themselves and if so how long it took for the dynamic to fall apart.



LadyCimarron -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 8:11:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Of course I can though I can't help but wonder how many of them are fooling themselves and if so how long it took for the dynamic to fall apart.


My guess is that it fell apart as soon as the door to the county jail cell slammed shut.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Why is it distant Dom's always insist on giving... (6/5/2010 8:44:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Of course I can though I can't help but wonder how many of them are fooling themselves and if so how long it took for the dynamic to fall apart.


My guess is that it fell apart as soon as the door to the county jail cell slammed shut.


That or however long it took for her to be (very unconsentually) raped or beat to a pulp because she was sent off to have sex with some strange man.



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