Andalusite
Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lally2
yes, i think he's interested in switching otherwise he wouldn't be looking for a switch - if all he wants is the submissive why would he want the switch side of the submissive only, he'd just leave it as looking for a sub.
I just got out of a 1 year M/s relationship, and was in a 3 year D/s relationship before that, and I didn't switch with either of them. In the longer one, I didn't play with anyone else, and I also had a 5 year relationship before that in which I was exclusively Dominant. It's like my being bisexual - I don't need to date both a man and a woman, or exclusively transgendered people who are in the process of transitioning, I can be very happy with either.  In the M/s relationship, he allowed me to have a femsub playpartner, and he enjoyed watching us, and occasionally co-topping her along with me. He felt it was really hot to see that side of me, but wasn't at all masochistic or submissive himself. I think that many people are more focused on whether the individual person fits their needs than what specific label the person uses to define themselves. There generally aren't so many submissive women who are potential matches that they are so swamped that they need to rule out all switches to narrow the field. I've so far never felt both dominant and submissive toward the same person, although I wouldn't object to topping someone who was in authority over me, if he wanted me to. I didn't feel I was "denying an element of myself." Most people don't inspire dominance or submission in me, but the ones who have, only drew out one or the other, not both. I'm neither dominant nor submissive in a vacuum, only in the context of an interaction with a specific person. I've actually had more compatibility issues in that regard with other switches than with dominants or submissives, as some of them feel the need to be both dominant and submissive at different times. It all comes down to compatibility with the individual person.
Syrox, while I enjoy some physical force play and playfighting, I'm not defiant or disobedient if I react submissively toward someone. Resisting someone who pushes my buttons that way, or even the thought of doing so, makes me horridly upset and guilty, even if what they wanted from me was something I clearly wasn't ready for. Instead, when my previous Master or Dominant wanted something of me that I wasn't ready for, we would brainstorm how to take baby steps to get to where they wanted me to go, address any concerns I had, and yes, sometimes suck it up and just do it even if I was a bit uncomfortable. Some things I just couldn't cope with for whatever reason, but those things weren't important to either of them, so it didn't become a problem for us.
Level, not to invalidate your experiences at all, but I happen to lean a bit more dominant than submissive in relationships, by default. I don't prefer one or the other, I'm open to either, depending on how I feel toward the person in question. 
< Message edited by Andalusite -- 6/5/2010 11:54:55 AM >
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RE: CM Profile: Actively Seeking... - 
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