warlock1935
Posts: 66
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Sorry about that - It's the name given in an FE Campbell novel for this concept: in a M/s relationship, a slave, however well behaved, may still have the Vanilla mindset underneath; she's still Suburban Sue, not really a slave. In this case, for example, my new slave said something which I can't recall exactly; but it was a statement that "we" were "of course" going to do something. It was a Vanilla Girl Friend sort of statement, along the lines of: "And then, of course, we'll move in together and get some new furniture." As it happened, I had in mind to do what she was talking about already; but it isn't the place of a slave to be telling her Master what they were going to do. I knew, of course, she had just spoken thoughtlessly. But in my view of the M/s relationship, however unintentionally, she'd committed two very serious offenses: Disrespect, and Usurping her Master's Prerogative.
And what that meant was that she was in at least some ways playing the role of slave while underneath her thought patterns were still Vanilla Girl Friend. My personal belief is that the Vanilla, or Suburban Sue Housewife attitudes and habits of thought, if not changed, will crop up later when the newness of the relationship wears off; and then the same offenses will be intentional, since her Master by inaction has given her permission to continue to think like Suburban Sue. Disrespect in particular, if not dealt with strictly, tends to grow and poison the dynamic and balance of the Master/slave relationship. The Suburban Sue in a submissive has to be suppressed before a submissive can truly think like a slave, truly become a slave.
In this case, I gave her The Stern Look for a few seconds and told her to think about what she'd just said. While I was saying that I turned her around, hooked her wrist cuffs together, took hold of her hair and guided her face down onto the couch with a pillow under her hips, and hit her bottom with a cane five times, as hard as I could and very fast. The whole thing probably took about thirty seconds; when she'd recovered and was apologizing tearfully, I took her in my arms and gently told her she was forgiven. Later I explained in detail what the problem was, and we discussed what we were going to do about it.
To put this in perspective, I'm strict and I expect a lot, but I'm not brutal; my usual correction is a little ritual where slaves say what they did wrong, and ask me to punish them; I give them three hand spanks, they thank me, and that's all I have to do to get excellent behavior. Sometimes years go by without my seeing this kind of problem and having to give a slave a more serious punishment.
In this case, what I did worked; it was a revelation to her, and she worked very hard at practicing slave attitudes and slave thoughts, and I never had to do it again. She'd never been in a D/s relationship, let alone an M/s one, but she really wanted to transform herself, and she became a superb and devoted slave.
In my case, I'd been worrying that I'd wuss out if she did something seriously wrong, because I was madly in love with her. But when it actually happened, that didn't even occur to me; I didn't worry or hesitate, I just knew what needed to be done and did it. It all happened so fast that she was writhing and crying on the couch and I was soothing her before it occurred to me that I'd just done something I'd been afraid I wouldn't be able to do at all. And believe me, THAT was a relief.
I hope that makes sense?
I'm not certain what a "Suburban Sue" is but it sounds hott where can I get one?
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Isn't a suburban sue a lawsuit that originates in the suburbs? 
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RE: Love in M/s and D/s relationships - 
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