RE: Boring Boyfriend...

RE: Boring Boyfriend... (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/7/2010 12:13:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ranja ... some people get lazy in the bedroom department.... some people need a desperate shake up, there is nothing wrong with trying to find a way to have more 'interesting' sex and asking for advice some people might be a bit stuck and find it very difficult to actually talk about sex... sometimes these people still do the deed though... sometimes people can change things for the better by adjusting their attitude or reaction to situations without having to talk about the matter Des i think your advice to this 1st time poster stinks Your opinion duly noted and ignored. As you ignored the op's attitude about her boyfriend. It stank of selfishness and do-me. Not attractive at all. Just look at how she titled the thread, putting him down. Yeah, that's a really submissive trait, not! There was nothing said about wanting to improve things for him also, all about her and to hell with him.

divi -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/7/2010 12:21:01 PM)
I agree I think calling her boyfriend boring is a little mean. And ranja I don't think your advice was so great either. So serioulsy you shouldnt be judging anyones posts.

osf -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/7/2010 1:42:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: spankthesub25 How do I tell my boyfirend to be more dominant and creative in the bedroom? I have been with him for three years and don't want to hurt his feelings! I have already tried, pulling his hair, thrusting him deeper inside of me, biting his neck, going down on him while he watches his favorite TV shows, etc... Please Help! If he was he would be.

ranja -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 3:01:08 AM)
divi, as you can see Des is perfectly capable of speaking for herself, nonsense as it is at times. Calling her boyfriend boring is a little mean? oh poohee... how disrespectful!! Granted she could have phrased the whole thing better, but obviously she is not very skilled in manipulating... or she would not have to come to the boards for advice. And if my advice is no good to her she might try other things like couple counselling or something

heartcream -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 3:10:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven First off, have you tried telling him in plain English? Second, you knew he was vanilla when you began with him. He's had three years of feeling comfortable with vanilla sex. Telling him that you want him to suddenly change to being a Dom will confuse him. It's worth a try to convert him. But I don't give it much hope. Then maybe third off telling him in complicated French?

DesFIP -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 4:47:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ranja divi, as you can see Des is perfectly capable of speaking for herself, nonsense as it is at times. Calling her boyfriend boring is a little mean? oh poohee... how disrespectful!! Granted she could have phrased the whole thing better, but obviously she is not very skilled in manipulating... or she would not have to come to the boards for advice. And if my advice is no good to her she might try other things like couple counselling or something So you promote underhanded behavior like manipulation? What happened to honesty and respect? Talk behind your boyfriend's back, complain to everyone how he's so boring in the bedroom, and then wonder with that kind of attitude why he doesn't want to extend himself to please you. Yeah, that's a great relationship skill, not!

commercialbody -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 4:55:51 AM)
Well surely all she needs to do is suggest some new things. Just try talking to your b/f and see if he has ever wanted to try something. It should be a 2 way thing. he should be willing to try something she wants, and she should be the same. Make sure you try everything before you decide you don't like it as well.

ranja -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 6:37:37 AM)
DesFip said: So you promote underhanded behavior like manipulation? What happened to honesty and respect? Talk behind your boyfriend's back, complain to everyone how he's so boring in the bedroom, and then wonder with that kind of attitude why he doesn't want to extend himself to please you. Yeah, that's a great relationship skill, not! i say: You need to lighten up woman yes i promote manipulation... and not mean underhand manipulative bitch type of manipulation, but skillful flirting and pleasantly asking for what you need (it might get you much further) is manipulating nevertheless You might not know this Des but a person can be honest and respectful and manipulative all at the same time... and yes it is a GREAT relationship skill. your idea of her talking about him behind his back in such an awful way is way off imo... so she calls him boring cos he is not quite doing it for her in bed... she asks for some advice... she does not want to hurt his feelings... as i said: lighten up woman

domiguy -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 6:51:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: commercialbody Well surely all she needs to do is suggest some new things. Just try talking to your b/f and see if he has ever wanted to try something. It should be a 2 way thing. he should be willing to try something she wants, and she should be the same. Make sure you try everything before you decide you don't like it as well. Commercial body... It's nice to see you two up and posting. Hey, Great cock shot!!!

commercialbody -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 6:54:29 AM)
well thank you. its the female part of the couple here. I will let the male side know you liked his cock pic. i have got to put some on of myself later.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 7:11:42 AM)
No one likes to hear criticism about how they are lacking in the sexual arena. In fact, harping on it (no matter how kindly or gently you do so) can have undesired outcomes - not the least of which being dysfunction. Quite frankly, how would you feel if he told you that the reason he isn't more creative during sex is he finds YOU boring and uninspiring? I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying that after 3 years, he might be very surprised to know that he isn't getting the job done for you. I lived with a Vanilla guy for two years. We haven't lived together in 6 years and recently he told me, "I really miss our kinky sex." Imagine MY surprise to find out our sex was kinky, [8\|]! For ME, it was vanilla. Ok, the time I brought home that girl he'd been drooling over and told him "Merry Christmas" might have been considered slightly kinky, but still. For the most part, the guy was pretty tame on the kink meter scale of WIITWD. To sum it up, I've no idea how to offer you advise about how to broach the subject with him. Pretty much any way you go about it, could be taken as criticsm. And lets face it, if your communication skills are represented in your post, you pretty much suck at it. I know what I did, to spice things up with the guy I lived with. But, honestly, not every man likes waking up to a woman giving him a blow job and simultaneously fucking him in the ass with a dildo. And yes, as it turns out, you can bring a man to the point of orgasm while he sleeps.....interesting bit of trivia there, not really all that relevant but a fun fact all the same. Good luck and best wishes. WinD

January -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 8:27:15 AM)
quote: so she calls him boring cos he is not quite doing it for her in bed... she asks for some advice... she does not want to hurt his feelings... ranja, The way the OP tried to solve the boring boyfriends problem was crude and self-centered. The OP's post calling her boyfriend boring was also crude and self-centered. I agree with you, one can be a skillful, pleasant manipulator without being underhanded and bitchy. However, a person like the OP would likely not understand the subtlety. I agree with you, it is surely a valuable social skill. It's a skill much like reading a post you don't agree with--and NOT telling the poster to "lighten up." But I suppose the honest and respectful communication you're advocating is reserved just for sub and Dominant talk? In your world, sub/sub conversations don't require such niceties, evidently. January

domiguy -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 8:32:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: commercialbody well thank you. its the female part of the couple here. I will let the male side know you liked his cock pic. i have got to put some on of myself later. Please tell you other half that his cock is grand. Can't wait to see your photos!!! Yay!

domiguy -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 8:34:58 AM)
What I did to spice things up was to fuck someone else. Then I gave my boring girlfriend the ol' Van Der Sloot and was on my way..

Missokyst -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 8:50:09 AM)
You have pulled his hair.. forced him deeper inside you, bit his neck.. I am not even going to comment on bj's with tv. I am curious how you find that submissive. So far you have called the shots. It seems to me like this would give him cues you want to be the top, IF he ever has kinky thoughts. You can't make someone become kinky, they have to have it in them. At 3 yrs most people hit a need for a change, either by moving on or getting more creative. But what I see from your post so far is that you think he is boring and don't want to let him know that.. why.. fear of not having someone? In general I think if you call your boyfriend boring you probably do not think of him with much respect. quote: ORIGINAL: spankthesub25 How do I tell my boyfirend to be more dominant and creative in the bedroom? I have been with him for three years and don't want to hurt his feelings! I have already tried, pulling his hair, thrusting him deeper inside of me, biting his neck, going down on him while he watches his favorite TV shows, etc... Please Help!

sexyred1 -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 9:10:41 AM)
I know nothing about the OP since her profile is hidden. However, I think someone hit it on the head earlier when they said she seemed to be wanting rough or wilder sex rather than have the boyfriend become dominant. I advocate being open and honest about sharing fantasies; that has always worked for me. But then again, I would not wait till 3 years into a relationship to state what my desires in sex were about. This is not a Dom/sub thing either; anyone in any relationship can figure out a way to discuss sexual desires and fantasies. I understand what the OP was doing when she bit him, etc. I think she was probably just trying to show him what she liked non verbally and hoped he would just do it without having to broach the subject. P.S. if you are giving someone a blow job while they are watching TV and they keep watching TV, something is very wrong. :)

heartcream -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 9:22:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 I know nothing about the OP since her profile is hidden. However, I think someone hit it on the head earlier when they said she seemed to be wanting rough or wilder sex rather than have the boyfriend become dominant. I advocate being open and honest about sharing fantasies; that has always worked for me. But then again, I would not wait till 3 years into a relationship to state what my desires in sex were about. This is not a Dom/sub thing either; anyone in any relationship can figure out a way to discuss sexual desires and fantasies. I understand what the OP was doing when she bit him, etc. I think she was probably just trying to show him what she liked non verbally and hoped he would just do it without having to broach the subject. P.S. if you are giving someone a blow job while they are watching TV and they keep watching TV, something is very wrong. :) Not neccessarily or am I wrong. I think it is hot. Is there something wrong with me?[8\|]

sexyred1 -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 9:24:09 AM)
I would not know if something was wrong with you not. I was stating only my opinion on the blow job/TV situation. It would not be something that would ever enter my mind or any partner of mine to be watching TV while getting a blow job.

SaschaMarie -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 9:46:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 I would not know if something was wrong with you not. I was stating only my opinion on the blow job/TV situation. It would not be something that would ever enter my mind or any partner of mine to be watching TV while getting a blow job. I used to get blokins whyle i was reading on the toilet after work. -Sascha

commercialbody -> RE: Boring Boyfriend... (6/8/2010 9:46:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy quote: ORIGINAL: commercialbody well thank you. its the female part of the couple here. I will let the male side know you liked his cock pic. i have got to put some on of myself later. Please tell you other half that his cock is grand. Can't wait to see your photos!!! Yay! well i have put a few photo's up. hope you like them. Why don't the girl just sit down with her partner and start a conversation and ask what he would like to try, or if he would try. all relationships need spice or they get a routine, and that leads to boredom.

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