Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Being my masters secret


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Being my masters secret Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 11:02:53 AM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		A point of view and a comment
Sometimes people enter and or not knowingly enter into a situation like yours. YES many lie here (this IS the internet).Perhaps somepeople continue since it will NEVER REALLY BE 24/7 just parttime play. I play often, it is a totally different situation than REAL LIFE OWNERSHIP. On a weekand it can be TOTAL DOMINATION AND SEX (sex IF that  part is wanted also). However in real life it is NOT ALL WHIPS AND CHAINS and wall to wall sex (again IF wanted). That is the difficult part that many do not see when going from a parttime thing to 24/7( the same with POLY, but that is a whole different story!!) 
It often makes me wonder  when soooooooo many girls get caught up in lies( their is no perfect dom), hence ALL THE BAD STORIES.The part that bothers me is accepting that fact OR start to LIE and get girls that way! So far in my previous life here on collarme TRUTH was best and I will continue that, but I did miss out on a few that went  to liars (those girls probably will never learn) who had their way with them and scared tham for life. 

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 11:18:30 AM   
lesliee


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/5/2005
Status: offline 		I was in this situation when i first went out into the real world with my BDSM interests. i stayed for years with this man. People told me all the time i should get out but i didn't listen. i had to figure it out for myself which i did eventually. We are still friends and i will always care about him. However, i knew that with me being single and even when he became single it would not work for us. my suggestion is to listen to what everyone here is saying, take things to heart, and weigh out the good and bad. Make a list. Look deep inside yourself and see what you truly seek. be well

Always,
leslie

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 11:20:17 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babyblues

i'm curious...i know several submissives who have struggled for years with the steps involved in becoming a slave - the complete giving up of one's self  to another is not an easy thing to do....how have you reached such a deep committed place so easily and quickly? or....do you even know what's involved in a Master/slave relationship?


It can take many years and at times merely moments to have a desire fully realized. Some find the path through natural propensity and some are forcibly forged, while yet still others arrive through a kink vocation or sorts.

It's quite possible this girl naturally likes to be used and taught in this way, and I feel it is well if she does. It's quite possible the male she serves is using her strictly for his own private pleasure, and it is well that he does.

(in reply to babyblues)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 11:38:35 AM   
babyblues


Posts: 80
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		Amayos...perhaps i am coming from a different place - a 24/7 TPE  relationship that is going on 20 years....every day is still a discovery to me and being His slave is something i am quietly proud of...and being the best slave i can be is something that i still constantly work at....
 
to me it seems that NJsubgirl is describing herself as more of a sexual bottom, so i was wondering what she considers a Master/slave relationship...i'm not going to tap into the whole morality issue - we all have our own moral compasses to follow, or not follow, as the case may be....

< Message edited by babyblues -- 4/11/2006 11:39:51 AM >

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 1:21:58 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babyblues

Amayos...perhaps i am coming from a different place - a 24/7 TPE  relationship that is going on 20 years....every day is still a discovery to me and being His slave is something i am quietly proud of...and being the best slave i can be is something that i still constantly work at...

to me it seems that NJsubgirl is describing herself as more of a sexual bottom, so i was wondering what she considers a Master/slave relationship...i'm not going to tap into the whole morality issue - we all have our own moral compasses to follow, or not follow, as the case may be....


An understandable point of view. It is good to know one's terms. I suppose I mean to convey that we all start somewhere on our journey, even if at first in unbridled want or tumbling, fumbling imperfection. You convey it well, in fact: no matter how much experience we attempt to cram into our brains, we all are still learning, and will do so until death.


(in reply to babyblues)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 7:28:12 PM   
sweetbbwsub31


Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		No heat from me.  i don't want to judge you. i have done it too. Let me just say that from my personal experience there is nothing more wonderful than playing with full disclosure to all involved. It feels good to be honest and not have to sneek around.
 
Be careful. When it ends it will hurt far more than any vanilla relationship ever has and he will have parts of you that you can't get back.

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 7:41:21 PM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		First of all I want to thank each and everone one of you for taking time out to respond to my post. As I posted I am new to this... DO i completely know the whole slave/master relationship? No i do not... Never said i did... but it has intrigued me my whole life... I have found someone that has introduced me to this, which is rare, and willing to teach me and Im willing to be taught. It is a shame he has a g/f... And to all that asked, No she does not know... She is NOT into the whole scene. And to all that think Im looking for him to leave his g/f... NO I am not thinking that either. Lets just say I have a very strong interior where I can have a sexual relation without getting my heart involved. IM NOT promising that this will NOT happen... but that is NOT my intent at all!
As one posted, I am going to take from this and grow.  I am now consumed with the role that I am in... wether it be a sub or a slave, Im still not sure.... Like I said... Im new to this.
Ive never been so sexually free ... And trust me, Im a very sexual person! I wish it wasnt this way that he has  a girl, but Im addicted to the sexual things we do and I dont know where else to find it.
I want you all to think back to the first time you experienced all this...
I dont know about you... but this has been the most amazing two weeks of my life!
Im sorry if i have upset some people with my situation...
I just needed some advice
OH and
whats vanilla mean??? lol

(in reply to sweetbbwsub31)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 7:51:27 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		NJ:

Vanilla is the term used to non BDSM folks... you know the regular folks in the world.

You asked to think back on the fisr time I experienced my submissiveness... I first became aware of my submissiveness long before I entered any sexual aspect of it. For me, it is a part of who I am, not about how I have sex. I have had some pretty freaking kinky sex with vanilla men, but that did not intitiate or complete my submissiveness.
                            mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 7:55:54 PM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		And its NOT just about the submissive "sex" that turns me on...

its the mental that im so attracted to...

I never thought someone could have this kind of control over me

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 8:18:13 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NJSubGirl

And its NOT just about the submissive "sex" that turns me on...

its the mental that im so attracted to...

I never thought someone could have this kind of control over me


Sorry if I offended you, you have given little to work with, most of your references to this relationship are about the fabulous sex. That's not a bad thing, mind you.

I may sound a little jaded, but you have no choice but to give him all the control. When you are the other woman, whether it be vanilla or BDSM, you have absolutoly no control at all. He holds all the cards. That is a part of being the " little secret".

Clarification: for the purpose of this thread " other woman" means unknown to wife or GF.

                       mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 8:20:54 PM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		YOU did not offend me in any way and im sorry you think that...

Im up for any constructive critism ... good or bad
thank you for the reply

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 8:23:31 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Two weeks and you have a 'Master'?

I think you have more than just infidelity, lying and cheating to worry about.


Thank you!  I was reading through this thread and thinking the exact same thing.  Two weeks isn't long enough to learn anything about this man you've selected as "master."

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 8:24:48 PM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		point well taken

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 8:31:14 PM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		It's not like she doesn't know he's lying to his girlfriend and cheating on her.  I mean, this is someone who doesn't give a damn about other people; it's all about her.   NJSG, I mean, not the clueless g/f who's unlucky enough to have to be living with this guy.  This isn't about BDSM, this is about hot monkey sex and some kink with their coffee <rolling eyes>

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

quote:

Two weeks and you have a 'Master'?

I think you have more than just infidelity, lying and cheating to worry about.


Thank you!  I was reading through this thread and thinking the exact same thing.  Two weeks isn't long enough to learn anything about this man you've selected as "master."


_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/11/2006 8:34:49 PM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		im sorry u feel that way...
but i accept your critism and understand where you are comming from

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/12/2006 12:27:59 AM   
acctonthelook


Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline 		I just don't know what to say...I have had only one affair with a married man.  We had the so called agreement too.  You know 'friends with benefits' thing...Hmmm after about 2 breaks up, taking him back, my having moral issues about his poor wife, getting all crazed over how great it was between us...Guess what?
 
No more 'friendship' within the 'benefit' package.  No more calls, no one to talk with, wouldn't even pick me up at the car dealership. Nights, weekends, so often alone. But yes always got the call for Saturday mornings or late afternoons for a 'visit' though.  I could always count on that.
 
I decided no matter how thick skinned he made me, it was really because he wanted to 'train' me to be a great secret for him. He never had my heart. He TOOK (and I allowed it) a part of me that "I" could not get back. 
 
My self respect.  I ended it.

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/12/2006 12:36:43 AM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		thank you for your post.. and im sorry you went thru that :(

I understand your pain

(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/12/2006 2:35:59 AM   
shewontsayplease


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NJSubGirl

thank you for your post.. and im sorry you went thru that :(

I understand your pain


You seem like a rational person, and so I will give my bit of advice in the hopes you might consider it as you have previous responses.

Find someone else to explore with. You mentioned previously that it is rare that you have found someone to experiment with, and you wouldn't know where else to look.

Well, I say you have had your taste and you have already entered on this community full of people. It's only a few more steps to trying to find another willing, more healthy and available teacher. I can't say that your current one will, but he may be "teaching" you subtly the wrong lessons that you will carry into other relationships when this current setup collapses.

In my limited experience, kinky people attract kinky people. I certainly did not intend to be dating my current boyfriend, but it just so happens that he's not only interested in the scene, but has been far more into it than I.  He's shown me things I never even dreamed I'd be into.

Get back out into the world and see some people, and test the waters early on to see if they might be interested in D/s. You know now for certain that you are.

You will find someone else better for you. I'm not saying stop seeing your current guy, but do not call him your Master in your heart.

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/12/2006 3:49:47 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		The words Submissive and slave are not synonymous with "doormat".
 
I agree with JonhWarren---IF all three parties know and agree, then no harm done---but when its a "dirty little secret", then its just that and nothing more---oh and I wouldn't ask him if the Gf knows, I'd ask her.
 
My bet is he panics---liars, cheats and bad judgement abound, in or out of the life.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Being my masters secret - 4/12/2006 4:38:09 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		 
Why don't you ask him how many sub/slaves has he had before you. I doubt you are the first or will be the last. Just remember what little regard you have  for his g/f and what you are helping him do to her. She knows nothing of his decit and keep that in mind when he does it to you.

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Being my masters secret Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078