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Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 1:02:50 AM

HarshReality

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

Hello All,

I could not leave without saying goodbye to all of you who were most helpful when I was feeling down, Ms DiannaVesta, I followed your advice to the letter.
very special thanks to you, Ms Smythe, Thank you for your kind words. JJC, Much thanks to you for trying to get me to stay. Ms Kalina Thorne a very wonderful good hearted woman. This forum has proven to be full of hate and contempt toward single black men, this is why we are so few here. The women I have listed here WILL ALWAYS HAVE A VERY SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART. They have tried there very best to make me feel welcomed. I have decided to move on, leaving the BDSM community for good; but I will always remember the few friends I did have here. Many Thanks. I wish you all well.

Harsh Reality

Post #: 1

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 1:22:19 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Dear harshreality,

I just read your good-bye post on the boards. Please do not leave! I am a Domme of mixed ethnic/racial heritage Myself and do not let cowards win. Stay and share with those who appreciate you for yourself.

-Vendaval-

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to HarshReality)

Post #: 2

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 1:45:47 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greeeting

I am a black domme I never had anyone but those who
tell me that they are into black woman say anything wrong
that is their opinion. I wish to know what happen to make you
want to leave. Are you a submissive? There are many black
Doms here. You should never let anyone run you away! I am so sorrry
someone has made you feel less then what you truly are. I had my
bad times too when I first came to the Bdsm and I learn to not
let anyone hurt me or say something to make me leave I use to go
to a chat room one man who Ispoke to for years when a subject
came up his true color came ou! I just never spoke to him again you need to
stay I have not found a better web site then this one. There are too many
people here for you to let a few dumbies do anything to make you leave.
I hope you change your mind not everything white is bad I know this I
find friends all over here RIGHT LADIES

please takecare and be well

mons/jane

(in reply to HarshReality)

Post #: 3

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 5:17:45 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

Why the sudden about face? Just a while back, you were saying in all caps that you "found no foes" here.

I'd really like some links to the posts that show people here are racially biased. It's just so contrary to what I've seen in the forums. Frankly, I can remember only one individual, a while back, who showed she was a bigot, and she got a lot of opposing posts.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to HarshReality)

Post #: 4

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 5:53:50 AM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

It seems you have only been a member of this website for one month. Many of us struggle with being able to find the right person. In My experience, this community seems to be less judgemental or 'hating' than our society as a whole. I have been contacted by several black males, and none of them were weeded out due to the color of their skin, or their ethnic backgrounds.

Ignorant people exist all over the world; leaving the bdsm community won't keep you from encountering them. Perhaps there is more to your story, and and if go you must, then I wish you the best of luck in finding what will complete you.

(in reply to HarshReality)

Post #: 5

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 6:06:27 AM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Maybe I missed something , I remember reading only once that someone brought up any racial comments that were discussing the use of words in a negative meeting ...And I remember the back lash of comments made to that person for bringing up his opionion.. If anything this site has offered acceptance to many who could not speak frankly to their family and friends ... In any case I wish you the best in your search for happyness

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

Post #: 6

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 6:06:56 AM

Real0ne

Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline

Wait! Before you leave you owe it to yourself to read some of the responses to my posts if you want to see some hate and discontent. heh heh

Predjudice sucks but it exists both in and out of the bdsm community. To bow out of the bdsm community because of a few rotten apples to me is not to much different than bowing out of the world because of them.

You just need to develope a thicker skin. remember their predudice is really hurting them way more than it can ever hurt you.

My advice is to hang out point it out! Start threads about it and put it up in everyones face to look at as you have here. Change never comes without a price.

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to HarshReality)

Post #: 7

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 6:19:04 AM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

There's a lot of hate and prejudice toward overweight women here, too. Basically, some people just use the anonymity they have here to be RUDE and to ignore the basics of decent manners (assuming they were ever taught any). Don't leave... by doing so, you let them WIN! By staying, you'll confound them, and prove them wrong, too :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

It seems you have only been a member of this website for one month. Many of us struggle with being able to find the right person. In My experience, this community seems to be less judgemental or 'hating' than our society as a whole. I have been contacted by several black males, and none of them were weeded out due to the color of their skin, or their ethnic backgrounds.

Ignorant people exist all over the world; leaving the bdsm community won't keep you from encountering them. Perhaps there is more to your story, and and if go you must, then I wish you the best of luck in finding what will complete you.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

Post #: 8

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 6:29:55 AM

nursemary

Posts: 8
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

The sad fact is.. all of the ugliness that is sometimes a part of our society will also be present at times in all communities.. Though it sounds very corny.. our only option is to rise above it and not be beaten down by it.

mary

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 9

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 6:37:03 AM

BlkTXDom2004

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/31/2004
Status: offline

As a Dominant Black Male, I can relate to what the people in this thread are saying about and explaining racial predjudice. I have received messages from those that applaud me, boost my morale, and those that TRY to bring me down.

Those that are negative have NO PLACE in my life. As an example, I use the profiles of people that say "they don't want to meet a Dominant Black man." There are those that do crave...and those that have no preference as well. What got me steamed were the people that specifically state what they want...and someone demeans them.

Black men like myself are getting negative vibes from people who should worry about their behavior. (In my opinion, I noticed the Black men and women that ARE NOT players and fakes, are being categorized as such.)

I simply ignored negative replies, and surprisingly...got more positive responses. It is simply how you project yourself. There will be a LOT of bad apples, but I climbed higher for the better ones.

(in reply to Real0ne)

Post #: 10

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 6:51:12 AM

Real0ne

Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

There's a lot of hate and prejudice toward overweight women here, too. Basically, some people just use the anonymity they have here to be RUDE and to ignore the basics of decent manners (assuming they were ever taught any). Don't leave... by doing so, you let them WIN! By staying, you'll confound them, and prove them wrong, too :)

yeh how can we forget nyudders?

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 11

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 7:50:19 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I've seen a few stupid comments in the forums that were probably prejudiced, but, more often than not, other people have exposed them for what they are. I don't believe the majority of CM users condone racism.

(in reply to HarshReality)

Post #: 12

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 8:43:54 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

**Shakes head wondering what it is that she missed**
I also see that you have only been a member a very short while and have made 18 posts.
I read a lot in the forums and seldom see bigotry. Admittedly I am rarely in some of the forums. I am mostly in "Mistress", "General", & "Off Topic". Am I reading in the wrong places?
If and when it does occasionally rear an ugly head, it is put down pretty quickly.
I have to wonder what you read. Or perhaps it was all in private email?
It's a shame if you feel you need to leave so quickly...not only this site, but the entire lifestyle.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 4/11/2006 8:44:36 AM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to HarshReality)

Post #: 13

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 9:02:45 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

There are ignorant people in all walks of life, if you keep running from them it is you who will miss out.

I don't find here any worse than other sites, in fact I've found it better than a lot. Maybe its how someone reads something, I try to put a positive aspect to what I read.. I've seen comments about Irish being drunks, I just say we know how to party!

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to HarshReality)

Post #: 14

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 9:50:41 AM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

You are welcome BUT I have to disagree. I have never found so many unprejudiced people as I have in BDSM. Sure everyone has their preferences and they are entitled to them. People come in all shapes, sizes and colors. We decide what we like and don’t like. You are not the only one who has challenges in finding a mate & I assure you it has nothing to do with your race. I think that if you changed your mindset, as BlkTXDom2004 suggested, you need to rise above this.

LadyMorgynn I have to say the same to you. There are plenty of large women here who have slaves. I also know many slaves/subs who prefer larger women. I’m a size 16 and very curvy, definitely not a waif or hard body. Even 30 pounds heavier I never had any problem getting males.

All of you- it’s in the attitude, really. Hold your damn head up high, fuse yourself with a swift kick in the ass and act like your shit don’t stink. Lol- ok maybe you subs should tone that part down but I know they one thing you all keep forgetting is that all relationships should start with a base. Make friends with each other no matter if they are dominant or submissive, be happy and enjoy each other. The right person will come along while you’re HAVING FUN and it will hit you like a ton of bricks.

_____________________________

(in reply to Oumae)

Post #: 15

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 10:01:32 AM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Okay, I have friends who I don't deem as prejudice who prefer to date within their own ethnic backround. I honestly don't think they're prejudice. It's a 'preference', that's what does it for them. Some of them have ended up dating outside their race, but still, their preference is too look for a long term relationship within their own race. I see nothing wrong with that. I know plenty of black women that will not consider going to bed with a 'white',oriental or hispanic person and yet have no problem sharing the same fork or spoon with them, a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It is their preference. Some people don't like redheads, there are others that look only for redheads, yet they aren't really prejudiced against the blonde because she has green eyes instead of blue, they're are just enthralled with redheads. There are those that WILL not date someone even one year older than themselves, and those that will not go over 5 years older. It's all a matter of personal preferences. We all have our ideals of what we want in a partner, then depending on that personal preference and the person who is in front of us, be it their personalities, their goodness, how they make us laugh, will depend on how much we are willing to stray from our ideals. Some peoples ideals are more/less bendable. Even those who have a person standing before them, that visually meets all of their ideals perfectly, if that person just sucks in every other aspect of their being, then it's just not happening.
I've received emails that say, "Aren't you too old for this?" >> laughing at this one..gets me laughing everytime <<
I respond, "Yep and the cut off day for doing this is ___________ < insert on line whatever age is one year younger than their age>. My point is this, I think to say the hell with a whole community based on personal affront of a few, is definately self destructive. To continue in this vein is to eventually say the hell with the whole human race.
It's your choice to do what you want to do.
The world is your oyster, you just don't always have the proper equipment to open every single oyster out there, and if you did, would you really want to bother with alot of them? Many just don't have the pearl inside that you're looking for anyway.

(in reply to Oumae)

Post #: 16

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 10:10:12 AM

Moloch

Posts: 1090
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

Harsh Reality, when I lived in Russia I had to fight people because I was part jewish, when I lived in Ukraine I had to fight people because I was part Russian, when I spent time and Poland I got shit on for all 3 of the above despite the fact that Im part Polish. Bigotry will be every where irrelivant of color of skin there will always be a difference between people, and some people wont like it. Ignore those people and keep on truckin!

(in reply to bignipples2share)

Post #: 17

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 10:26:43 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I'm sorry if you have felt your race to be a negative issue on the website. It must be a very hurtful experience.

The non-white folks I have known in the scene have told me that it can be difficult to even come out to themselves let alone be a minority in a community (of any sort).

To be honest though, until your post said you were black I had no clue -- I haven't read those threads where it was mentioned. Probably because so many other factors are important to me that far outweight race or skin color and because given the race I am, I can't honestly offer as much as I might on other issues. Perhaps that is a flaw of mine.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 18

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 10:30:30 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTXDom2004

As a Dominant Black Male, I can relate to what the people in this thread are saying about and explaining racial predjudice. I have received messages from those that applaud me, boost my morale, and those that TRY to bring me down.

Those that are negative have NO PLACE in my life. As an example, I use the profiles of people that say "they don't want to meet a Dominant Black man." There are those that do crave...and those that have no preference as well. What got me steamed were the people that specifically state what they want...and someone demeans them.

Black men like myself are getting negative vibes from people who should worry about their behavior. (In my opinion, I noticed the Black men and women that ARE NOT players and fakes, are being categorized as such.)

I simply ignored negative replies, and surprisingly...got more positive responses. It is simply how you project yourself. There will be a LOT of bad apples, but I climbed higher for the better ones.

This is such good advice for everyone -- try to ignore the negative and focus on the positive.

But it can be so difficult, too.

Sometimes things just push our individual buttons and we can so easily going flying off the handle or take things so hard and personally -- I know I do this.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to BlkTXDom2004)

Post #: 19

RE: Hate and Racial Prejudices here at CollarMe - 4/11/2006 10:39:56 AM

newdombbw

Posts: 84
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline

HarshReality:

I have been contacted by two black males (that I know of - I don't really notice race in the profiles). Both of these gentlemen ask to be treated as "old time plantation slaves". I'm sorry, I can't do that. I cannot and will not treat a sub/slave in that manner.

It's not always prejudice, but more often "differing kinks".

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 20

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