Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Public or Private Displays.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Public or Private Displays. Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 11:58:37 AM   
DommeKeliDallas


Posts: 311
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		I would like to know how people feel about public or private play.

I feel very strongly that what goes on between 2 people should remain private.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 12:06:39 PM   
LadyCimarron


Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline 		I agree. Either keep it at home or in public dungeons and clubs especially made for that kind of play.

(in reply to DommeKeliDallas)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 12:07:54 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Interesting question. Understand that I am about as vanilla as they come aside from the whole M/s thing. My sensibilities generally conform to the vanilla world. I don't "play".

All that being said, I'm a huge believer in "When in Rome, wear a toga". If I went to some place were it was socially acceptable to play in public and I had the inclination to play, then I would. In other words, I think "what is and is not acceptable" is an interaction between myself and the social norms of the environment I find myself in.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DommeKeliDallas)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 12:10:43 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Ayep to both. For me there is some areas I am happy to be involved in "Publicly" (I.E. Dungeons of Play Parties) others I am a very private  (and shy) person. Also it depends on the crowd there too, with some groups of folks I know, I'd not want to expose any slave of mine to the carping hypercritical back biting.

"Warning: the surgeon general has determined that bothering me

before my first cup of coffee is hazardous to your health"


< Message edited by IronBear -- 6/7/2010 12:11:30 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LadyCimarron)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 12:29:03 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I feel very strongly that what goes on between 2 people should remain private.


You really need to qualify that.  Should two people not be allowed to hold hands?  Is that "too private?"  Are they allowed to say "Yes sir?"  Are they allowed to wear what their owners told them to wear?

90% of the world doesn't care or doesn't matter, you could practically light yourself on fire and they wouldn't notice.

5% of the world cares but doesn't matter

5% of the world cares and matters- those are the ones you actually have to think about

Where I draw the line is actively pushing myself into others space- and amazingly this works identically for "vanilla" as it does for "non vanilla!"  Loud phone call?  Rude.  Loud whip cracking inside?  Rude.

Having my darling boy kneel before me to put a new shoe to try on and prance for him is a fun lovely afternoon- it does no harm, impacts no one and is of zero consequence.

But I dislike someone who would put a girl kneeling inside the door of a club with a sign that says "I am being punished" because I don't want your stupid negative energy clouding up my space and involving me in your personal relationship issues.

So, again, for me what matters is "Am I pushing myself into others space and interfering with their own attention?"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 12:32:20 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Define "play." 
 
If you mean flogging someone on a public street or taking a guy to Victoria's Secret to buy lingerie for his cross-dressing fantsy, then I'm not in favor of it.  If you mean going shopping with my girl and having her open doors for me, carry all the packages, and I order lunch for her, then I have no problem with it at all.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 2:14:21 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Count Me in with you being too vague.

Define play.

For that matter, define public.

There are a heck of a lot more things that I'll do at a BDSM club than I will on main street.  If you can't handle Me flogging My sub, or leading him on a leash, or sticking needles in him, I suggest you stay 'in private' because that's what you're going to see.

I curtail My activities so that I don't expose people who didn't particularly consent to seeing them.  More often than not, I'll even keep edgier scenes or those that I know are more likely to offend at home.  I'm fully aware of how to conduct Myself and have a conservative enough view of My activities.  I do, however, think those who believe all BDSM should be done in private to be a bit unrealistic.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 2:34:28 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

snip
Having my darling boy kneel before me to put a new shoe to try on and prance for him is a fun lovely afternoon- it does no harm, impacts no one and is of zero consequence.

But I dislike someone who would put a girl kneeling inside the door of a club with a sign that says "I am being punished" because I don't want your stupid negative energy clouding up my space and involving me in your personal relationship issues.

So, again, for me what matters is "Am I pushing myself into others space and interfering with their own attention?"
You really can not know that no one is impacted by the bolded behavior.  It might not get someone screaming and calling 911,  afraid that you are being hurt or abused, but you have no way of knowing that no one is noticing and thinking ewwwwww.

I dont even like seeing folks swap spit in public, so I admit to being a prude about PDA's.  Sure, it might turn on 6 of ten folks watching, 3 not care, but 1 getting squicked by something that could be done in private is the one I try to have the respect for.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 2:37:17 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

but you have no way of knowing that no one is noticing and thinking ewwwwww.


And because of that, this is their issue, not mine.  If someone chooses to take a passive personal act and make it into their issue, that's on them.

The same could happen if a vegan saw me eating a hamburger, that doesn't make loving my meat in any way inappropriate.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 2:39:18 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Some how I don't think LA was referring to public displays of genitals or public demonstrations of wanking, but hey if that's what the public need lets have at them....

Gather round the biscuit and jerk off. Last one to cum gets to eat the soggy biscuit (cracker for those in the US)..



_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 2:45:29 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Yes I rather enjoyed the double entendre my analogy opened, hence my choice to word it exactly that way. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 2:46:43 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

but you have no way of knowing that no one is noticing and thinking ewwwwww.


And because of that, this is their issue, not mine.  If someone chooses to take a passive personal act and make it into their issue, that's on them.

The same could happen if a vegan saw me eating a hamburger, that doesn't make loving my meat in any way inappropriate.
I dont see it as a passive act.  If *I* saw a guy kneeling and putting on a ladies shoes for her, and he did not have a name tag on indicating he worked there, I would go ewww.  But, like I said, I admit to being a prude about some things.

quote:

  Some how I don't think LA was referring to public displays of genitals or public demonstrations of wanking, but hey if that's what the public need lets have at them....

Gather round the biscuit and jerk off. Last one to cum gets to eat the soggy biscuit (cracker for those in the US)..

Ha!  I hope I did not make the impression I thought LA was indicating any action except the one I bolded.  If so, my apologies.

Now, let me make note.....never eat the crackers at IronBears house....


_____________________________

yep

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 2:55:46 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Ahh but you see lass, the hook is that many who read that post of mine and some time later make a salad on a cracker with mayonnaise on it of even mayonnaise on anything will remember and be unable to eat the mayo....... Wonder why I am called an evil bastard... 

We don't serve crackers at Bruin Cottage but we do serve Gourmet Dinners and snacks.. (without mayonnaise).


< Message edited by IronBear -- 6/7/2010 2:57:18 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 3:09:49 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
I dont see it as a passive act.  If *I* saw a guy kneeling and putting on a ladies shoes for her, and he did not have a name tag on indicating he worked there, I would go ewww.  But, like I said, I admit to being a prude about some things.

Yeah, on that one, you probably are being a bit of a prude.  This one has not a thing to do with BDSM.  It does have something to do with the cute little sandals that I like to wear and the darn little buckles that have stems so small that a number of folks can't see if they are sitting straight up.  Yes, My husband has been known to help Me put them on in public.  I don't think anybody has had an issue with it.  If they do, it's easy enough to explain that My eyes aren't what they used to be.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 6/7/2010 3:10:21 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 3:30:49 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
I dont see it as a passive act.  If *I* saw a guy kneeling and putting on a ladies shoes for her, and he did not have a name tag on indicating he worked there, I would go ewww.  But, like I said, I admit to being a prude about some things.

Yeah, on that one, you probably are being a bit of a prude.  This one has not a thing to do with BDSM.  It does have something to do with the cute little sandals that I like to wear and the darn little buckles that have stems so small that a number of folks can't see if they are sitting straight up.  Yes, My husband has been known to help Me put them on in public.  I don't think anybody has had an issue with it.  If they do, it's easy enough to explain that My eyes aren't what they used to be.
I know LP.  I am good with being a prude.  It is my one fault...(pause for the vomit to go back down my throat that typing that lie brought up).

In many ways, I do  not care what others think of me, but in some I am too damn careful about being sure to not offend others. 

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 3:50:20 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I used to worry a lot about how people viewed me and what I looked like or did. Just don't have the energy to deal with that stuff anymore. Most people don't give a rat's ass what I'm doing. Those who do either don't matter or love me regardless so it really doesn't matter.

re: the OP. You'd really have to define your question a lot better. Are you discussing overt sexuality in a public situation (like the grocery store)? Or are you discussing "play" at a play party?  I am one who can separate "play" from sex so I can play at a play party without any problem but I can't imagine being overtly sexual in a public arena (ie the grocery store).

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 4:04:49 PM   
MissBeautiful2U


Posts: 98
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline 		Personally, I think it comes down to what would offend a reasonable person in a particular setting... lol and now let's define a "reasonable person".  Good luck with that.  I think we all pretty much have a pretty good idea what would and would not be acceptable to most people.  Having a guy help put on shoes seems perfectly acceptable.  Having him suck toes in a shoe store would be unacceptable.  To me seeing a couple hold hands in a mall is perfectly normal.  Seeing them give a quick kiss is normal.  Seeing them kissing in a very intimate, deep way, while arousing to me, would be inappropriate to the setting and therefore I would not approve of it.

I have no issues with someone playing at public play parties, dungeons, etc.  Those places set acceptable standards of conduct.  I'm sure there are some that allow more than others.

Personally, I like very discreet public play... things that would not be obviously sexual  to anyone who was not aware that there was something else going on.  Such as the example that SylvereApLeanan gave of having their sub open doors, carry packages and ordering for them.  Personally, I have no issues with a guy who is CD going into Victoria's Secret and shopping for underwear, provided they aren't making a scene.  At my local mall, guys go in their all the time shopping with their gf's or wives.  Who would know the difference?  Perhaps the clerk would have some suspicions based on the size and the fact that it is not that uncommon of a fetish but it could equally be a gift for a very good friend who was getting married or whatever.  Other discreet public play might be having a boy where a chastity device when we go out.  NOBODY could tell just looking at his outward appearance.  So it is "public play" that does not affect those who have not consented to being a part of the scene.

Just my thoughts.
Miss Robin

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 4:13:28 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		We're really not big on public displays of "affection" but there is a time and place for everything. One doesn't have to be overt to do things in public.

(in reply to MissBeautiful2U)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 4:17:48 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas

I would like to know how people feel about public or private play.




I'm an advocate.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to DommeKeliDallas)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Public or Private Displays. - 6/7/2010 4:33:14 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		I'll add another vote for your question being too vague. I think people have a reasonable right and expectation not to be exposed to someone being flogged at the bus stop. Public play in a suitable venue like a dungeon or play party? It's not my thing but to each his or her own. For me the flesh is a private celebration but that's only for me.




_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to DommeKeliDallas)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Public or Private Displays. Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.093