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Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 2:40:47 PM   
togaininsight


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/7/2010
Status: offline 		I'm not "new" to the lifestyle, but have a question I'd like to ask annomonusly if I may.

What does the term "Under Consideration" mean to you? Does it mean a sort of equivilant to dating (in the nilla world).. or something more? How many of your "rules" do you put on a sub/slave that's Under Consideration? What benifets (if any) does the sub/slave gain? What limits are pushed? Punishments, etc?

I know each relationship is unique, but there has to be some sort of "standard" that is considered "the norm."

Thank you for your input.

Respectfully,
to gain insight
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 2:43:12 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

You know what, I never understood the entire under consideration thing, either, to tell the truth.

MS

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to togaininsight)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 3:22:48 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Under consideration, to me, isnt even an engagement ring. Its more like the football jacket girls used to wear when they dated a guy in highschool.

In the BDSM world, it means, basically...

"I own you, for the moment. I can get my kicks by telling you what to do, when to do it, how to do it... and you cant argue."

In reality, when you come under consideration to someone else, they can treat you like property without any of the responsibilities, still play the field while keeping you tied close to their heels.

you have become their option while they have become your priority.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to togaininsight)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 3:33:43 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		For me, the term under consideration is like a test for a sub for service of a non personal nature in my household. If they do ok through simple instruction then I accept them for service. This period usualy lasts a few weeks and I don't care if they are seeing others or "considering" other Dominants. If accepted I then own them and they have all the rights and care a submissive is due. For personal relationships I'm more concerned with how we get along so would never "consider" them.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 3:34:52 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		To me, and this is just my very personal take on Under Consideration, it's nonsense.   To the Dominant involved it often means I don't want you to talk to or see anyone else.  I want you to present yourself as mine.  However, as the Dominant I can keep looking to see if I can find something better than you.  To the submissive being Under Consideration is often seen as finally belonging to someone who cares and wants a relationship. 

Now, if the two agree on what the Under Consideration means, then there is no problem.  The problems occur when one thinks it means one thing, and the other thinks it means something entirely different.  Then we get submissives writing to the forum, confused because they are under consideration and it's not what they thought it would be.  Questions that the forum is often asked are:

1.  He told me to say on my profile that I am under his protection and consideration.  His profile says that he is still looking.  Is that (insert word here)? 

2.  He put me under consideration.  Now he won't talk to me online or on the phone.  Is that (insert word here)?

3.  He put me under consideration.  He was going to punish me for something by not emailing or talking on phone to him until he thinks I have learned my lesson.  That was 6 weeks ago?  Is this (insert word here)?  

4.  I am under consideration to a wonderful Dominant.  He wants me to get a cam so he can make sure I am doing what he tells me to do.  Is this (insert word here)?

Inserted words could be fair, normal, usual, right.

By the way, I am using the term he for the Dominant in my examples.  It could easily be she.  Just used he because it seems that most of the questions we get about under consideration are from male Dominant/female submissive couples. 



< Message edited by peppermint -- 6/7/2010 3:38:58 PM >

(in reply to togaininsight)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 3:35:32 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		I think that is the difference, GL. I was referring more to the on line use of the word. You are referring to the off line usage.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to GraciousLady)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 4:08:11 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: togaininsight

I'm not "new" to the lifestyle, but have a question I'd like to ask annomonusly if I may.

What does the term "Under Consideration" mean to you?


I don't have a running definition for the term for several reasons. First of all I'm not the person putting anyone under consideration. Therefore, my association may be incorrect or out of context. It would behoove me to ask the dominant what is being considered, its definition, and what he hopes to gain/discern during the consideration period. I'd also ask for its duration and if it would lead into something more or is merely a way for him to examine the girl a little closer for suitability purposes. Again, as with most things your mileage may vary and when in doubt ask the dominant directly.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 4:08:21 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		fr

As usual, it will mean exactly what the people involved agree that it means. There is no *standard*, no right and no wrong to it. If you are comfortable with what it means to you, go for it.. use it to your hearts content and if you want to be under consideration for a day, a week, a month, a lifetime.. it's no one business but yours .. and if you are not comfortable with it, feel free to toss it in the trash. Either way, some other way.. as long as it works for you and yours that's all that matters ... really.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 4:36:41 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Tongue in cheek:

It means, "I'm interested enough to piss on your leg and mark you as mine, but I don't know you well enough to know if you'll still be a good fuck six months down the road."

Honestly, We feel that's what it means for the bulk of the people using it. For the rest, We feel it amounts to a "trial period" where some energy is invested into building a relationship, some exclusivity is expected and important elements are observed or attempted to be developed.

Having used this kind of collar in the past, We can honestly say We used it both ways.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to togaininsight)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 5:03:56 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

What does the term "Under Consideration" mean to you?

In our household, "under consideration" means we've gone past the "dating" point, and this person is being considered as a full member of the household.
quote:

Does it mean a sort of equivalent to dating (in the nilla world).. or something more?

It's definitely "something more" for us. Dating is the meeting over coffee and the meetups at events to suss one another out, and the early discussions about how our household runs and what the person's expectations are. "Dating"-type stuff, for us, also includes casual play encounters like the folks with whom I'll do play-piercing stuff, etc. "Under consideration" implies that this person has already passed muster, and both sides are ready to start seeing how xhe'll do under actual in-house conditions.

quote:

How many of your "rules" do you put on a sub/slave that's Under Consideration?

Someone under consideration with us would have all the same rules and responsibilities as xhe'd have once xhe was accepted, however, either party can end the relationship "without prejudice" at any point with a simple discussion with at least two of the house Keepers and a house Arbiter (in the event that a simple re-negotiation of terms will resolve an issue). A servant "under consideration" has the least level of responsibility, and answers to all House members.

quote:

What benefits (if any) does the sub/slave gain?

The servant has all of the benefits of a member of the House, except that xhe cannot vote or participate in voting on any House business.
quote:

What limits are pushed? Punishments, etc?
Limits and punishments are solely determined by the terms under which a servant would be working with us. This is true whether xhe's under consideration or a full member.

Calla


< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 6/7/2010 5:07:40 PM >

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 5:09:50 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

snip
Inserted words could be fair, normal, usual, right.

snip

fucking bullshit could also be inserted words in all of those instances.  or fucking insanity......just sayin....

_____________________________

yep

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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 5:14:53 PM   
reynardfox


Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline 		Under consideration is but the prelude to the truly nauseating "Now I am whole, I am His and He has come into my life, once I was in darkness and stank of fish but He has come and freshened me up with the scent of lemons, I am the sole to his shoe, the cream in his coffee the little gritty bits in his kiwi fruit, He is my God, my jailer, my therapist, my chiropracter, my one and only HIM!!!
I yearn for Him, adore Him, draw crayon pictures of my little pony being sodomised by tellytubbies for Him, I swallow doughnuts dunked in Chanel for Him.
I am truly and utterly owned, I am collared and branded and digitally coded and on register with the dog pound with a secret sonic code for Him.
Which is also but the prelude to the "We have now parted but remain friends"
Then comes the "Fake doms and what they do" post.
Under considerations means that the potential relationship has the staying power of a chocolate cock ring.
Doms don't consider, they take.

(in reply to togaininsight)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 7:29:07 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
i think "Under Consideration" means whatever the Dom/me wants it to mean, and if the sub/slave doesn't agree with that, then don't agree to it. But there have been a gazillion threads on it, so the Search function would bring up the whole gazillion i'd think.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 7:41:05 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		For me, it was those few weeks when we agreed to focus on talking just to each other, to seriously determine if we were sufficiently compatible enough to move on to the next step. We agreed not to talk to others during those two/three weeks. There were guys who checked back a couple of weeks later hoping it hadn't worked out and that I would be available to talk to them. But in the meantime, they knew I wasn't going to answer.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 7:48:13 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		It seems to be one of those opportunistic ploys for one party to get what they want - you off the market and away from others - while not committing themselves in the process.

(in reply to togaininsight)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 7:59:29 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I use "under consideration" as a warning sign to know which women are fucking nutjobs.

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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 8:58:47 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		LOL. Agreed.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 9:01:12 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		In our household it means you have been duped.

_____________________________



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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 9:06:52 PM   
LadyCimarron


Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline 		For a female sub it means she will be giving a lot of blow jobs.

For a male sub it means the Domme has not finished maxing out your credit card.

(in reply to togaininsight)
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RE: Under Consideration...? - 6/7/2010 9:13:18 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

For me, it was those few weeks when we agreed to focus on talking just to each other, to seriously determine if we were sufficiently compatible enough to move on to the next step. We agreed not to talk to others during those two/three weeks.

In a previous thread on this subject, someone (I think it was NZ) suggested the term 'happily distracted' for the above situation. I liked it, so that's what I use to avoid confusion... or some D thinking I'm a fucking nutjob
*waits to see if he goes for the obvious line*



_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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