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Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 12:00:40 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

If your Master or Mistress requires you to keep a daily journal, is it private or does She read it?

If it is private, how likely are you to actually do the journaling you are instructed to do? Are you more likely to just list the day's events, or do you find yourself expounding on your thoughts and feelings?

If S/He reads your journal, how honest are you? Do you find that you edit your thoughts, not writing down what you don't want read by another? Or are you more likely to write down things that you have a problem with, in the hopes that in reading it, your M. would address it?

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

Post #: 1

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 12:06:15 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I think females in general really like journaling- it lets them say "lookit me!" without actually having to say it.

But I think too often submissives become dependent on the journal, RATHER than using it as a launchpad into more meaningful and direct contact. If the dom doesn't take the impetus to bring up issues in person, I find that the issue doesn't really get raised at all- leading the sub to think that the dom doesn't care or isn't interested, rather than simply directly bringing it up.

I also feel it raises too many expectations- if a dom misses a reading or doesn't give some feedback on it, subs often begin to feel let down or insecure.

I think encouraging someone to express themselves through writing is a fabulous idea. But it should not become a crutch or substitute for actual discussion of issues, and should not become a burden or symbol of attention for the dominant to take on.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 2

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 12:07:44 PM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline

quote:

If your Master or Mistress requires you to keep a daily journal, is it private or does She read it?

If it is private, how likely are you to actually do the journaling you are instructed to do? Are you more likely to just list the day's events, or do you find yourself expounding on your thoughts and feelings?

If S/He reads your journal, how honest are you? Do you find that you edit your thoughts, not writing down what you don't want read by another? Or are you more likely to write down things that you have a problem with, in the hopes that in reading it, your M. would address it?

good day Ma'am ....... while girl does not yet have a Master, she does have a Protector, and He has had her write daily in her blog. He reads it sometimes and when He does He comes to her asking her questions as she does not believe in hiding anything from Anyone as she knows that if she does They can't help her when she needs the help.

girl is not big on speaking her feelings when something is bothering her or if she is just having a bad day, this stems from her being brought up in home where love was not shown very often.

when girl writes in her journal/blog she always asks if her Protector has read it and if not then she drops the subject. when girl did have a Master she wrote in her journal daily and He asked if He could read it, girl was more than happy to share her thoughts, feelings, concerns, questions and dreams with Him.

girl feels that by not hiding things it makes A/all happy and she can get the help she may be afraid to ask for.

hope this helps You Ma'am and that You are keeping well.

Blessed Be

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 3

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 1:46:35 PM

petcerina

Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

i am required to write in a journal daily and it has three settings: public, friends only and private. He was recently (a few months ago) given my password to my journal so journal entries that were made private, He could have access to. This was done not because i wouldn't show Him, but to cut down on the hassle of copying and pasting. i do not believe in hiding anything from my Master, either good or bad. If i did not do it, i would still tell Him even if He couldn't see it. my journal is a mix of a whole bunch of things. Sometimes it is a list of the day's events (journal entries i tend to loathe the most), exploring myself and my actions, cute quizzes i find, and erotic stories. my Master does read my journal on occasion and i am always honest in it. i do edit my thoughts depending on if it is a friends only or public entry, but i don't edit things from Him. i find sometimes i can put things in the journal that i would normally be too worried about telling Him in person at that very moment. If this is the case, i bring the journal entry to His immediate attention and either read from it, or copy and paste it to Him within 24 hours. There you go. Probably more than you possibly needed to know :P.

(in reply to cariad)

Post #: 4

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 1:57:55 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

If your Master or Mistress requires you to keep a daily journal, is it private or does She read it?

If it is private, how likely are you to actually do the journaling you are instructed to do? Are you more likely to just list the day's events, or do you find yourself expounding on your thoughts and feelings?

If S/He reads your journal, how honest are you? Do you find that you edit your thoughts, not writing down what you don't want read by another? Or are you more likely to write down things that you have a problem with, in the hopes that in reading it, your M. would address it?

I am required to journal daily, but it's something I would do anyway as I've kept a diary since I was very young. I just like to write and I put everything into my journal, the good, the bad and the ugly.

I have one private journal which is for our eyes only and the public blog I write on collarme which has things I don't care if others read. There is nothing I ever put into my journal that I wouldn't share via the spoken word with Himself, but as I often stay up much later than he does, it allows me the chance to get things down so I don't forget them later. If there is something which is important, I won't wait until Himself has a chance to read it in my journal, I bring it to his attention at the earliest available opportunity. I edit my public blog but my private journal is written as train of thought, although I do try to punctuate so it's not difficult to read. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 5

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 2:07:08 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

i am not required to journal. i have my nilla blog, and another i created so spew all my thoughts/scares/stories/events etc. i know He reads it, but never comments on it. i never lie, deny or edit my feelings. it was created because i have many nilla friends and seeing as how i have just entered the 24/7 realm, i had many many things i had to get off my chest. it makes me feel a lot better, and i am sure it reassures Him that i love what we are doing. anyone here is free to go look at it, on LJ, same screename.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 6

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 2:11:02 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I journal every day. My Dom is the only one who reads it. Sometimes I have "assignments", sometimes it's just general life stuff. I usually try to write about what is on my mind, or I select a theme. Sometimes I use my journal to process things that are going on in my submission. It was been a useful tool for me. And yes, I am always honest in it, otherwise, what's the use of putting it out there for your Dom to read and comment on?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 7

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 2:27:06 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Master had me write a daily journal everyday before we were together. Sometimes I didnt know what to write as I felt it became repetitive..they would have been the times that I slacked off and didnt write anything. At other times he would give me a subject to write about which helped in the process of getting to know one another. I know I expressed a lot of frustration in the journal, basically because starting a relationship on the internet almost drove me mad, I was really aware he was reading my frustrations surrounding that subject....and part of me did know that expressing my frustrations so openly in my journal was about giving him a sense of security surroundng my genuine intentions of meeting RL....so in that way my journal was orchestrated with the *reader* in mind, rather than how I would usually express myself, (Im not really a person to reveal my frustrations at the drop of a hat...Im more a person to go inside myself and process rather than spewing out verbal vomit everywhere).

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 8

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 2:38:51 PM

collegebeauty

Posts: 41
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline

I journal all the time, in a diary that noone (sometimes not even me) knows where it is. I also have recently started keeping a blog on lj (same screenname if your interested, but ya have to be a friend, 'cause I don't want 12 year olds reading about my kinks, but send me a quick message here and I'll add ya as one) that I'll allow anyone access to if they ask. I had a Dom at one point who would give me writing assignments on various topics when I was having a hard time expressing what I wanted in words. Often they would include going out into the wide world of the internet and find information on a particular topic (erotic humiliation was the longest and most difficult one) and then reacting to what I saw. That way, I could see what appalled me and what kinda gave me a bit of a tingle. It was an extremely effective tool.

_____________________________

Beauty

"I am always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them." - Pablo Picasso

"Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you." - Richard Bach

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 9

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 2:39:18 PM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

The Owner reads the journal. He is the only person who can read it.

I am completely open and honest when I write in my journal. I am more likely to write down things I am having a problem with. It is much easier for me to express myself clearly in this manner. The Owner addresses everything he reads in the journal. I want our relationship to be a success so I have to open up and not hide things from him.

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 10

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 3:29:46 PM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
Status: offline

I had my little one keep a journal in the beginning or our relationship. It helped her open up and stop and think about what was happening, how she was feeling, her thoughts and expectations. She sent it to me to read daily and I would respond with my thoughts. It was useful and needed at that point, now we have grown past the point where the journal matters and she is no longer required to keep it.

K

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 11

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 5:30:13 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

i journal to him daily but it is not a "formal" journal. i write my thoughts to him in emails throughout the day. This may be one really long email, or several smaller emails, or a combination, or whatever. i never journaled before this, except when i was a late teen or in my early 20s. i never felt they were "safe."

Regardless, i am completely open in my journaling to him. How else can he manage me and best run me and make the best decisions possible if he does not know everything? Yes, this includes the uglies, the humiliating things, the embarrassments, and the things i am ashamed of. He knows any important thought and feeling that runs through me. During some extreme growth periods when i was really really struggling, he had me keep a Word document open and every time any thought regarding the situation i was going through popped into my head, i was to write it down, and then send him the document at the end of the day.

To be dishonest in my journal, by way of omission or by way of avoiding the truth out of fear, would do neither of us any good. i know my heart is safe with him. i know that while he may not like where my head is, he can not help change my course if he does not know. And if he's out there making decisions based on false information, we're both in trouble. The thing is, i learned over time, it is SAFE to tell him anything. And so i do.

my journals to him are not sent with any expectation other than that he will read them if and when he chooses to. my feelings do not get hurt if he doesn't comment on them. Sometimes he comments, sometimes he doesn't. If there is something i wrote that he wishes to discuss with me, he will discuss it. If there is something he wishes to comment on, positively or negatively, he will do so. If i do not hear from him about it, but i am interested in his thoughts, i will ask about them. He will then answer or not as he chooses.

These journals serve two purposes - for me to get better in touch with myself, and for him to learn me. i am grateful that he is so interested. i am grateful that his decisions reflect his keen knowledge of me, gained by reading what i write.

Great question :)

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 12

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 6:09:25 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

If your Master or Mistress requires you to keep a daily journal, is it private or does She read it?

My owners did request that i keep a journal, not daily, just when something popped into my head, Master reads it, i believe he discusses the pertinent parts with Mistress, though he does so sporadically.

quote:

If it is private, how likely are you to actually do the journaling you are instructed to do? Are you more likely to just list the day's events, or do you find yourself expounding on your thoughts and feelings?

I tend to write when the mood strikes sometimes pages a day sometimes days with one liners, sometimes weeks of nothing.
As far as what i write, i write down anything and everything from i love you to great scene to bad day to my hearts wildest desires.

quote:

If S/He reads your journal, how honest are you? Do you find that you edit your thoughts, not writing down what you don't want read by another? Or are you more likely to write down things that you have a problem with, in the hopes that in reading it, your M. would address it?

Honestly i write whatever comes to me. Since i do not edit what i would say to them ever, i do not feel the need to edit what i write. Communication is a must, and in this house i may always talk freely with my owners. When there is a problem i never feel restrained about speaking with them, it being a rare occurrence there is one. I may also write about it but normally only to get my thoughts focused.

To be quite honest both are so in tune with me they generally know when something, if not actually what, is an issue and come to me.

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 4/11/2006 6:10:41 PM >

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 13

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 6:28:31 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

He has had me write journals many times. Sometimes to express my thoughts on a certain subject and other times in more general terms. I try very hard to just write and not edit my thoughts. I of course know he is going to read it and I am sure that clouds it somewhat, but for the most part he is always getting exactly what I am thinking and feeling at the time I write it.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 14

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/11/2006 6:42:35 PM

fullofgrace

Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline

i keep a couple of journals, but it is more for myself/as a therapy technique; it's not something He requires of me. i think it would be nice to have that method of communication with Him, but i also know i would be likely to edit things out when i write if someone else were to read it, even Him...i'm trying to get to a space where i don't have that insecurity, but i'm not there yet. i have a paper journal (only i read), a couple of workbooks/journalling guides i'm using (either along with or as prompts for the paper journal - right now i'm focusing on "there is nothing wrong with you" by cheri huber, "training with miss abernathy" by christina abernathy, and maitri libellule's wabi-sabi writing classes), a merit book (a paper journal where i write down positive things i've done each day), and a livejournal (more informal...i only post from time to time and occasionally discuss my lifestyle of D/s but not in grave detail. i write Him emails every day...sometimes i include thoughts on certain things in a journal/rambly type fashion, sometimes not. He also occasionally orders me to write Him on specific topics.

< Message edited by fullofgrace -- 4/11/2006 6:43:59 PM >

_____________________________

i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 15

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/12/2006 5:35:33 AM

ProperMaleMaid

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

In reference to your questions regarding journaling, the journaling technique I was instructed in requires in depth soul searching, thoughts actions acts positive and negative responses to given stimuli and defining that stimuli in detail. Journaling for me took two to three hours every evening and I looked forward to completing it. However, when finding the woman I was forwarding my journal to had been sharing its content with another, I immediately began misleading…fabricating and guiding them down the proverbial primrose path. Her betrayal of my confidence offered a glaring light into the content of her character and/or lack thereof.
Regardless, a joural should be honest open detailed and a guide to ones mental emotional refrence response center.

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 16

RE: Journaling for subs - 4/12/2006 7:48:09 AM

MyCaptainsPet

Posts: 219
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

i have an online blog that i write in constantly, sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. It's private and only he has access. i pour my heart and soul, good, bad and ugly into it. i don't know if he reads it, but i know he used to. Same thing with these forums. i know he's been here once or twice, but i don't know if he's actually read anything i've said in a long time.

i do find that since i don't know IF he is anymore, i tend to dump a lot more into it and let a lot of things out that i wouldn't normally. Nothing of major importance, but just things that i think about or feel. Most of the time when i'm writing i feel as tho i'm talking to him anyway.. simply because he is the only other person with access to it.

i don't hide anything from him and he can access that blog any time he chooses. Some of my thoughts would embarass me if he did read them but they are there for him to see if he so chooses.

< Message edited by MyCaptainsPet -- 4/12/2006 7:50:58 AM >

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 17

RE: Journaling for subs - 6/16/2006 5:57:44 AM

littlelostbunny

Posts: 141
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

If your Master or Mistress requires you to keep a daily journal, is it private or does She read it?

If it is private, how likely are you to actually do the journaling you are instructed to do? Are you more likely to just list the day's events, or do you find yourself expounding on your thoughts and feelings?

If S/He reads your journal, how honest are you? Do you find that you edit your thoughts, not writing down what you don't want read by another? Or are you more likely to write down things that you have a problem with, in the hopes that in reading it, your M. would address it?

I'm not required to keep a journal; I thought it was a good idea, so I went ahead and did it. I've been using LiveJournal under different names for years, so I figured another, devoted to all things sexual and kinky, wouldn't hurt. As far as I know, no one really reads it, since there've never been any comments on it. Most of the entries are public. I have a handful of friends-only posts (I don't have any friends listed), and maybe one or two private posts.

In this particular journal, I do not list the day's events. I mostly write about my thoughts on the lifestyle, or snippets of articles and other useful things I might want to come back to later. I do my best not to edit my thoughts. If I write something that makes me squirm having it public, I put it on friends-only or private.

I would like to have someone read and comment. As LuckyAlbatross said, journalling, at least for me, is a way of saying, "Look at me!" without really saying it.

If anyone is interested: http://littlelostbunny.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 18

RE: Journaling for subs - 6/16/2006 6:18:50 AM

kiska

Posts: 160
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Oh I love my journal ...

I don't keep it for anyone in particular though. I started it around the time I met my current ... signifigant other (for lack of a better term, sorry) ... Literally within days of meeting him so a lot of it currently charts the progress of our relationship but there's also a lot about how I've been dealing with SI, PTSD, my endeavors as a phone sex operator, my artistic endeavors and just lately my efforts to become a medical coding specialist.

I do not edit myself ...

At one point my signifigant other demanded that I make the entire thing private and I did for about a week but the more I thought about it the more I realized I don't just write for myself anymore. I have gotten a lot of comments, mostly in emails, from other people who are dealing with SI and PTSD and they've thanked me for being so blunt and honest about myself.

I know that sounds kind of arrogant. Its not meant to be. My journal started out as something just for me and its grown a bit since then. As to whether or not I'd want a dom to read it; I honestly don't care one way or the other. There's no topic I would broach in a journal that I wouldn't mention in an actual conversation. If there was something I wanted to say to him and wanted him to actually discuss with me, I think I'd have better luck simply emailing him.

_____________________________

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue ...

(in reply to littlelostbunny)

Post #: 19

RE: Journaling for subs - 6/16/2006 6:29:30 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

they've thanked me for being so blunt and honest about myself.
I know that sounds kind of arrogant. Its not meant to be.

Actually it's not arrogant. Be grateful that you are open enough to share and help others.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to kiska)

Post #: 20

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