TakenPet
Posts: 147
Joined: 1/12/2007 Status: offline
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I journal everyday upon Masters orders, but now its like a debriefing for me. I find it helpful to me, to actually look at the things I have accomplished throughout the day and what I plan to accomplish. I find it helps Master as well because we cannot be together right now. My journal is not a way for me to curb issues, we still talk about them because he is part of my life and I want him to know about them, good or bad, I trust him implicitly and I enjoy sharing thoughts, feelings and emotions with Master. I have no idea if Master reads them or not, it can only be assumed, and there is not and probably never will be any feedback as to what is written in my journals. I ultimately find the journal cathartic, I am totally honest, I share exactly how I feel and I do not edit myself, I write in my journal like I am talking to my best friend. I also talk to Master about what is in my journal, not because I don't think he reads them, I dont' know if he does, I tell him because I want him to know, and there are issues that I write about that I may not feel a need to talk to Master about. There are important things that happen in my life that he should be privy to and there are things that I want him to be included in. Its a way for me to express myself to myself and to Master when he cannot always be with me. In my case, I write it all down, truthful, hurtful, angry, upset, denial, elation, whatever I am feeling I write it down, and the first chance I get, I talk it over with Master. Now as far as how likely am I to do it, it is assumed that Master reads it, but I do knopw that he checks to see that they are sent, I do it via email and its easy for Master to know when it was sent and so on. I have a deadline for it each day. I think the journal for Master allows him the insight to my life, that he can't always see or be a part of, the part of me that is considered professional and it also allows him to share in my moods and learn about me in a different way. He can tell by my voice how I feel, and if I am lying or hiding something. Which is obvious in my face, I can't lie(I go red). This is an opportunity for Master to see a different side of me, a side that is not always easy to display even to myself, one that I am not always in touch with. I also feel this is a good exercise for me to get in touch with that side of myself .
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