RE: Journaling for subs

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kittyinpink -> RE: Journaling for subs (10/11/2007 10:49:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpankMuhButt I kept a diary from elementry school till HS. and one day I came home from school to my room trashed. My mom always claimed i was sneaky (pffftt) she thought i was doing drugs or so she said (which i never did) so she trashed my room and found my diary and read it. One night i was drunk and gave a guy a handjob.........i babbled on and on about this in my diary, and my mom went ballistic and punished me. i was 17 i remember this brawl like it was yesterday. i also remember arguing she could not punish me for what she read in my diary. she said she damn well could and did. i remember my dad comming home and him asking why i was punished and my mother told him she read my diary (mind you she was/is so uptight i got a little thrill wondering how she was gonna tell him what the main reason for my punishment was) "well hun your daughter jerked off some guy lol" but she told him i was sneaking out to bars. i was also quite thankful at that point she didnt give him details....this was my daddy lol. Till this day now (me and mom are the best of friends now) I feel she had no right to read it and she feels as my mother it was her right.................and to a point I agree. i dont think i shouldve been punished for giving a handjob though lol. so till this day writting for me is a fear. and I have been givin assignments by my current Dom in the beginning but nothing lately and i am thankful to some extent cause it really is a fear to have to put things into words...but then there is also this part of me that wonders why that we met now are there no more assignments..........ahhh well we shall see. and that in itself is another issue lol I thought I'd share a quote from Kurt after someone stole of his journals. "The most violating thing i've felt this year is not the media exaggerations or the catty gossip, but the rape of my personal thoughts....Ripped out of pages from my stay in hospitals and aeroplane rides, hotel stays etc...I feel compelled to say "fck you"...Fck you to those of you who have absolutely no regard for me as a person...You have raped me harder than you'll ever know" I've been journaling in notebooks since I was 12 and during my freshman year of highschool a boyfriend snuck into my room and went through them. It's so hard to explain how painful that sort of thing is. I'm sure it seems like a gross exageration, but it really does feel like rape. On another note, when you write and post it for others to read, the same feeling doesnt' apply.

TakenPet -> RE: Journaling for subs (10/12/2007 8:32:46 PM)
I journal everyday upon Masters orders, but now its like a debriefing for me. I find it helpful to me, to actually look at the things I have accomplished throughout the day and what I plan to accomplish. I find it helps Master as well because we cannot be together right now. My journal is not a way for me to curb issues, we still talk about them because he is part of my life and I want him to know about them, good or bad, I trust him implicitly and I enjoy sharing thoughts, feelings and emotions with Master. I have no idea if Master reads them or not, it can only be assumed, and there is not and probably never will be any feedback as to what is written in my journals. I ultimately find the journal cathartic, I am totally honest, I share exactly how I feel and I do not edit myself, I write in my journal like I am talking to my best friend. I also talk to Master about what is in my journal, not because I don't think he reads them, I dont' know if he does, I tell him because I want him to know, and there are issues that I write about that I may not feel a need to talk to Master about. There are important things that happen in my life that he should be privy to and there are things that I want him to be included in. Its a way for me to express myself to myself and to Master when he cannot always be with me. In my case, I write it all down, truthful, hurtful, angry, upset, denial, elation, whatever I am feeling I write it down, and the first chance I get, I talk it over with Master. Now as far as how likely am I to do it, it is assumed that Master reads it, but I do knopw that he checks to see that they are sent, I do it via email and its easy for Master to know when it was sent and so on. I have a deadline for it each day. I think the journal for Master allows him the insight to my life, that he can't always see or be a part of, the part of me that is considered professional and it also allows him to share in my moods and learn about me in a different way. He can tell by my voice how I feel, and if I am lying or hiding something. Which is obvious in my face, I can't lie(I go red). This is an opportunity for Master to see a different side of me, a side that is not always easy to display even to myself, one that I am not always in touch with. I also feel this is a good exercise for me to get in touch with that side of myself .

sweetcreeangel -> RE: Journaling for subs (10/12/2007 9:09:53 PM)
with my former Dom He asked me to keep a journal never asking to read it but wanting to mark down my thoughts and feelings about Him or the world in general....its based all on trust and there fore it is important for You to trust your Dom/me regradless of what you right you may have a bad day where you hate your Dom/me then write it down ten to one the only time they will read your journal is when they ask for you to send them a certain page/s of whatever day They ask for............well idk about other Dom/mes but that is how mine was with me hope this helps be well

gentlestarZR -> RE: Journaling for subs (10/12/2007 9:21:45 PM)
my journal entries are sent in an email every night to my Master and yes i am very honest .. 100% thats what all relationships need .. every doubt , fear .. every joke i hear at work to how my day was .. just every thought no matter how silly i write down .. so master pretty much knows all my thoughts because i dont want to hide anything .. he has to know me inside and out if he can Master me :} and well he does a wonderful job doing that .. but this way he knows me to my core..

kittyinpink -> RE: Journaling for subs (10/17/2007 5:44:32 PM)
Anyone get punished for things they write in their journals?

laurell3 -> RE: Journaling for subs (10/17/2007 11:53:56 PM)
kitty this thread's been around for awhile, but that would be a good topic for a new one and everyone would be more likely to respond to it if you were the OP. I'd like to hear it personally.

alittlebent -> RE: Journaling for subs (10/18/2007 4:48:23 AM)
i have not read all that has been posted but i am going to describe how my situaton is. i am a submissive male and Mistress requires that i journal at least once a week, more if i like. it is a place where i can express my thoughts and feelings and nothing will be held against me. It is a place for me to vent, not only about our D/s relationship but work, family anything. it is only available for Mistress to read and my very closest female submissive friend. i find it to be very liberating.

chndnbound4u -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/23/2009 4:59:35 AM)
hello all, i have decided that i would like to start journaling so i have couple of questions if you do not mind helping me out. i saw a couple of posters mention LJ or lj. What is this? When you are writing a daily journal do you write in a book or do you find it easier to do an electronic journal. i find myself it is easier to write something longhand than type at times but that is because i am dyslexic and when im writing something from my thoughts on paper i don't the superimposing of letters that i do when im typing. i dont know why... last question if you do write long hand such as in a diary - notebook etc do you copy it over to an electronic form? and if you do, do you find you tend to write word for word or do you sometimes skip or condense things? or translate electronic to written - as for myself i tend to get lazy i like to write my thoughts down weither it be electronic or on paper but if i do a paper form i could maybe see myself transferring it over for a while but then getting to the point where i would not do it after a while and just have 2 forms of writing electronic and paper.

Gwynssoftandshy -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/23/2009 5:23:44 AM)
i keep a journal, although i'm not obligated to, and my lady does pick it up and read it on occasion. Actually, it's quite motivational because if i've written something that i think may draw her attention or upset her, i will generally wind up asking to speak to her about it before she reads about it. My journal holds raw feelings and "heading her off" gives me a chance to phrase things in a way that sounds better or less emotional. ~smiles~ Of course, she knows me well enough by now to ask for the journal and review that also after our discussion.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/23/2009 9:06:23 AM)
A thread started in 2006...revived by a ......crayon in 2007 and now by another extremely bright crayon in 2009?[>:]

kuriouswitch -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/23/2009 9:22:29 AM)
I write in a journal, I started it long before I met Master and he's read all the way back to when I first started looking into D/s. I don't always write in it, and Master doesn't always read it. If I've written something important I'll ask him to read it. Usually I use the journal to sort out my thoughts and feelings about a situation or experience. There's been a few times when I've been given a writing task but usually Master lets me write whatever I want in the journal without fear of punishment as long as I'm respectful. I have a habit of sorting my thoughts in my journal and then bringing the matter up in conversation if Master hasn't already read my journal and brings it up himself.

oceanwinds -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/23/2009 9:43:20 AM)
i never been told to journal, most likely because i have been an avid journaler for decades. Journaling is a place where i compare to sacred space, where my thoughts can be written without fear of being ridiculed. It is also something i can go back to and read be it a few months, years etc, and see where my head was then and how i resolved it. i do not hide my journals from Sir, and he doesnt really read them either. Chndnbound, welcome to the boards. Please do not let people's grumpiness get to you. Good to see you did search and wanted to discuss further. oceanwinds

DesFIP -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/23/2009 2:55:51 PM)
He talked about journals in the beginning but they don't really work for me. I've never kept one, never felt the need. Instead I just wrote him emails about everything from what I was feeling, what I was interested in, to what was happening in my daily life. I prefer to get comments back.

ibelongtoKaiel -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/25/2009 6:57:19 AM)
My Mistress requires me to Journal everyday and i have come to relish the task - it is generally the first thing i do in the morning. I find it a very healthy and quiet time to reflect and to report feelings honestly without recriminations - Ma'am always reads the journals and W/we speak about things as She feels the need....Even as I continually strive to be more open and communicative, i still find that some topics are easier for me to address via the journal...the journal also gives me time to reflect and collect my thoughts before communicating and sometimes the time between the initial emotion/feeling and writing help me better understand my feelings and let me better articulate them for my Ma'am to read....I think the journal is a form of therapy for me too as i have very limited opportunity to express my true nature and devotion and submission to my Ma'am in day to day life and the journal lets me focus on my core feelings and that is a very comfortable place to be....I find the jounral not only enjoyable, but i know it strengthens O/our relationship and gives me a much needed outlet to express feelings and reflect on wide ranging life issues, feelings, and emotions.

unownedbunny -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/28/2009 5:57:21 PM)
Still in the beginning stages of a new relationship and not yet gone 24/7, my Dom asked that I email Him each night. He did not ask for anything specific, no particular topic, no real format....just me, expressing my thoughts. I adore this and think that it benefits the both of us. I think it helps in a few ways. 1.) It just builds on the communicaion. 2.) Writing it down helps me work through any issue or problem I might be having. 3.) It gives Him insight into my thought process and the way my brain works, because as verbal as I am I do tend to express more in written format. As of yet, He has not commented on anything that I wrote. However, everyday he does however make a point of saying..."Thank you for the email this morning"

littlewonder -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/28/2009 7:19:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittyinpink Anyone get punished for things they write in their journals? Yup, in my last relationship. After awhile I just stopped writing much of anything except one line boring sentences just so I wouldn't have to endure it anymore and I lost all interest in writing and my self confidence. These days I can't write for shit and I no longer have any interest in writing in a journal and thankfully my current Master doesn't require it.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/28/2009 7:25:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kittyinpink Anyone get punished for things they write in their journals? Actually...in a recent relationship...I even got punished for things I'd never said, never thought of and wouldn't even have ever considered. (Cain't win 'em all I always say).

whis31 -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/28/2009 8:49:27 PM)
Master requires a daily journal from this slave. Master has a special email account set up for this slave's daily journals. Master does read them all the time. This slave is to write about anything and everthing in her journal. i have used it to address items that are bothering me, and if it is something that is upsetting me Master either responds with an email or a phone call or a visit in person to help me deal with my issues. My journal is also this slaves chance to say anything she whats with getting in trouble. So if i want to tell Master off this is the place to do it!!! not going to happen. yes i have on more then one account read what i wrote and deleted it and started over. i detest myself when i whine in my journals so those end up getting deleted and re written, which is good for this slave because i then really need to think about the words i'm using to let my Master know how and why. sorry it's a long post.

Gaulthierdewin -> RE: Journaling for subs (5/30/2009 11:45:43 PM)
The American historian David McCullough and author of the biography John Adams, once said something to the affect that anyone who keeps a journal writes with an eye on posterity. He goes on to say that one of the remarkable things about John Adams' journal was how honest he was about his hopes, fears and aspirations. My former slave, Denise, from ten years ago and my current submissive, Deana, both keep and kept journals. I provided both with a small leather bound journal. Denise's journal at first was dramatic, grandiose and all over the place, but as our relationship matured she found her voice and her writing style became more honest and revealing and even intimate. I am finding the same thing is happening with Deana. As she settles into her life as my submissive and keeps journaling she seems to be finding her voice as well. I did and do enjoy giving writing assignments both to have them think and reflect about a recent experience. And I do enjoy perusing their journals from time to time. Denise and I part ways sometime ago but I have kept her journal. I did have her write passages "to the slave who comes after me" as we did have the intention of having another join us as her sister in bondage. I have allowed my crrent submissive to read Denise's journal. Deana enjoys reading these passages and reads them as if they were written to her and indeed they were written with her in mind. Denise would write vivid and graphic passages about certain fantasies that she had (e.g., kidnapping fantasies, rape fantasies, forced bisexuality and so on). Deana finds these lively entries very arousing. Personally, I think that journaling for submissives is a wonderful and powerful tool.

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