questions about mentoring

questions about mentoring (Full Version)

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cutelinygurl84 -> questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 2:51:29 PM)
Let me explain my situation to you. As many of you know I am looking for a mentor for my Dom(bf). I was talking to a Dom and he said he wants to help me and my bf. Now this is my situation he said that he wanted to meet me three time alone first. He said he wanted to form a bond with me. Wants to be friends. Now do you think he wants to be with me sexually or does he really want friendship? After the three meetings he said my bf can come and be with us. Because of heart meds my bf is on he has some erection problems and it takes him 45min to 1hr to get hard. Now this guy said he would leave the room and wait untill my bf got hard and then he would come back and help us. I dont want to be with him sexually I will not cheat on my bf. All I wanted was a mentor for my bf do you think this guy is on the level or is he trying to get thrills? Thank you for any responses to my question. Cutelinygurl84

mnottertail -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 2:56:08 PM)
21? Yeah, that seems right. So he needs to bond with you but not him. Yeah, I would say you are gonna be into more than vicarious situations........... Ron

littleone35 -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 3:08:40 PM)
Cute it sounds to me that this guy wants to play with you for maybe 2 meetings then disapper before he even meets your bf. Call me cynical but that is what it sounds like to me. Tell this Dom you just want to talk to him for the first 3 times see what he says. If he really wants to just be friends he will be ok with just talking. Just watch your step and good luck. Matt's littleone

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 3:09:15 PM)
I'm wondering why you're even asking this question? You want a mentor for HIM. Anyone who isn't primarily interested in helping HIM isn't worth your time. And yeah, I think this guy wants to enjoy some free fucking.

wytchywoman -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 3:12:16 PM)
Maybe your bf should be the one looking for his mentor rather than you. Also, why does your bf need an erection to be mentored? What does this guy intend on mentoring him on? Oops. This post was directed at the OP and not LA. :)

JohnWarren -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 3:14:54 PM)
I don't know about you but erections don't factor into "friendship" for me. If I'm mentoring someone, I want to be friends with them. Any relationship with anyone they are playing with is purely secondary. He sounds like he is more interesting in "friending" you a few times than he is in mentoring your dom. A serious bit of advice here. I know you are trying to do a good thing, but as someone who has taught a lot, I don't get a good feeling toward someone who approaches me through a third part. It kinda gives the feeling of "is he really interested?" and would make it unlikly that I'd invest the time and effort in him.

Elegant -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 3:16:23 PM)
Before you go searching for a mentor (or before your [partner searches for one) you should identify what you want to get from a mentoring relationship..goals, expectations, outcomes.

PlayfulOne -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 3:24:29 PM)
Why does he need to "bond" with you to mentor him? Isn't your boy friend the one he should be working with? what exactly does the errection have to do with this anyway, or we mentoring or having sex class? The mentor there does not need to "bond" with you to help your bf. You have a child together I think you already know how to have sex. There are things a mentor can do to help counsel and teach your bf without you even being there. A thanks but no thanks should help you get rid of the "horny mentor". I can see how hard you are tyring to work this out, but at some point the two of you need to do this together. If you want a mentor, then the two of you should be looking for one, not you finding one for him. Good luck and well wishes K

caitlyn -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 3:30:20 PM)
The quality of pickup lines in the country is really going to shit. Perhaps the Department of Homeland Security needs to look into this, in between trying to get busy with High School girls. [;)]

ladychatterley -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 3:55:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caitlyn The quality of pickup lines in the country is really going to shit. Perhaps the Department of Homeland Security needs to look into this, in between trying to get busy with High School girls. [;)] That was hilarious! I literally laughed out loud! THANK YOU! (This also made me laugh: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=31377 )

cillydom -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 4:12:52 PM)
how old and inocent are you?

SirCumsSlut -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 5:23:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84 Let me explain my situation to you. As many of you know I am looking for a mentor for my Dom(bf). I was talking to a Dom and he said he wants to help me and my bf. Now this is my situation he said that he wanted to meet me three time alone first. He said he wanted to form a bond with me. Wants to be friends. Now do you think he wants to be with me sexually or does he really want friendship? After the three meetings he said my bf can come and be with us. Because of heart meds my bf is on he has some erection problems and it takes him 45min to 1hr to get hard. Now this guy said he would leave the room and wait untill my bf got hard and then he would come back and help us. I dont want to be with him sexually I will not cheat on my bf. All I wanted was a mentor for my bf do you think this guy is on the level or is he trying to get thrills? Thank you for any responses to my question. Cutelinygurl84 If he is to mentor your boyfriend, then that is who he needs to meet with. Call me a cynic, but with the way the world is today, your inner voice should be SCREAMING.....common sense, imho, is to inform this so called "Dom" that you will not meet with him without your boyfriend present.........Remember, Safe, Sane and Consentual . Also need to ask, have you talked to your boyfriend about this.......if not you really need to because I am sure he would not want you in any danger

FelinePersuasion -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 6:51:30 PM)
typically mentorship don't involve sex with either of the mentories. he sounds up to something quote: ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84 Let me explain my situation to you. As many of you know I am looking for a mentor for my Dom(bf). I was talking to a Dom and he said he wants to help me and my bf. Now this is my situation he said that he wanted to meet me three time alone first. He said he wanted to form a bond with me. Wants to be friends. Now do you think he wants to be with me sexually or does he really want friendship? After the three meetings he said my bf can come and be with us. Because of heart meds my bf is on he has some erection problems and it takes him 45min to 1hr to get hard. Now this guy said he would leave the room and wait untill my bf got hard and then he would come back and help us. I dont want to be with him sexually I will not cheat on my bf. All I wanted was a mentor for my bf do you think this guy is on the level or is he trying to get thrills? Thank you for any responses to my question. Cutelinygurl84

sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 6:57:49 PM)
Hmmm. Keep looking sweetie. A "mentor" will have no problem meeting with both you and your bf. Also, he will want you to keep your clothes on and your bf soft.

wild1cfl -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/11/2006 7:02:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84 Let me explain my situation to you. As many of you know I am looking for a mentor for my Dom(bf). I was talking to a Dom and he said he wants to help me and my bf. Now this is my situation he said that he wanted to meet me three time alone first. He said he wanted to form a bond with me. Wants to be friends. Now do you think he wants to be with me sexually or does he really want friendship? After the three meetings he said my bf can come and be with us. Because of heart meds my bf is on he has some erection problems and it takes him 45min to 1hr to get hard. Now this guy said he would leave the room and wait untill my bf got hard and then he would come back and help us. I dont want to be with him sexually I will not cheat on my bf. All I wanted was a mentor for my bf do you think this guy is on the level or is he trying to get thrills? Thank you for any responses to my question. Cutelinygurl84 Sorry but this guy is just out for his own jollies, he doen't care about you and your boyfriend. When my wife and I mentor someone either to learn more as a submissive or as a Dominant we do not require thm to have sex with us or even play wiht us. We discuss and show but never go beyond a teacher/student type of mentalilty. Now training a slave is a different thing all together.

acctonthelook -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/12/2006 2:05:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84 All I wanted was a mentor for my bf do you think this guy is on the level or is he trying to get thrills? You already know the answer. You feel the red flag going up sky high. Always have your bf with you! He's the one who should be looking, not you!! If you are a sub, it's not your place. Move on...Be Safe.

MHOO314 -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/12/2006 3:35:17 AM)
Mentors do NOT engage in sexual or intimate activities with their students or their students "others"--its an unwritten but adhered to rule---nor is it necessary to meet with you "three meetings"alone---and straight to the bedroom? I think you know the answer already. Now if you think you need a mentor, the relationship needs to be developed with your bf not you--and if you think there are tons of wannabes out there, there are a hell of a lot more that call themselves "mentors".

acctonthelook -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/12/2006 11:59:27 AM)
Exactly, well said MHOO314! Please maintain your gut instincts. It is exceptional that you have asked for help before falling for such crap! quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 Mentors do NOT engage in sexual or intimate activities with their students or their students "others"--its an unwritten but adhered to rule---nor is it necessary to meet with you "three meetings"alone---and straight to the bedroom? Now if you think you need a mentor, the relationship needs to be developed with your bf not you--and if you think there are tons of wannabes out there, there are a hell of a lot more that call themselves "mentors".

cutelinygurl84 -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/12/2006 4:17:31 PM)
Thank you everyone for your help. I definatly dont think I will ever be meeting this guy alone. To me something did sound a bit odd. I mean get with me before he helps my bf I could not understand why he wanted it that way. Now I just see all he wanted was to play us and have his way with me. I mean I knew he was going to help my bf but he kept telling me not till we meet 3 times a lone first. Its not like I am dumb. I had a feeling about what all the people on here were going to say. I am trying to get him off the idea of us meeting 3 times alone before I bring my bf. I just dont feel safe being alone with him without my bf there. Plus I told him a number of times I dont cheat on my bf unless he oks it first. So I really feel he does not respect my wishes. Cutelinygurl84

FelinePersuasion -> RE: questions about mentoring (4/12/2006 5:11:35 PM)
then say youre not what we want and stop talking to him

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