My parents do not approve, and might kick me out

My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (Full Version)

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Glasgow -> My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 6:30:43 PM)
So... anyone recall how I said I told my mom about how I was into bdsm? And that the 27 year old guy I was hanging out with was from a bdsm site? Yeah. Not going over so well. She and my father are having lots of very long talks, and it looks like it's going to boil down to either an 'us or him' situation (For the record, my father does not know about the kink factor). I believe that they (or rather, she) doesn't care so much about the kinktastic aspects, but just that they 100% do not want me with someone 9 years older than I. So I am in desperate need of a few wise comments. Jeffff, you can post too anyway. So here are some l33t pros and cons: Pros (of moving out): I am ready to move out. I'm actually a little tired of my house, which I have been living in my entire life. Also, no curfew! The Dom I'm talking to will let me move in with him, rent-free. He also lives alone in a very nice house in a good neighborhood. Being the magnificent age of 18, I'm tired of my parents telling me what to do because I know best, dammit! and I want to spread my wings, as it were. If it didn't work out with him, my parents would let me move in (as long as we weren't together anymore). I really like this guy--- quite a bit. We've hit it off very well. Cons (of moving out): I have no job (naturally, this would be helped some if I tried to get one :/) I just started at my community college, and would have to drop out if he doesn't want to pay for it (or, again, if I can't get a job). Ready for the one I'm sure you all will have the biggest problem with? ...I've only known him for about a week. And if I stayed home... I wouldn't be able to see him anymore, and would probably have to suppress the life I want to live for several years until I finish a 4-year university and become financially independent.

littlewonder -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 6:43:34 PM)
I have an 18 year old and if you were mine I would be upset too. If I was your mother I would tell you that men come and go and you're young yet. Go to college and get your degree! You'll need it. If that means living at home so mom and dad can pay for it then so be it.

ThatDaveGuy69 -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 6:44:38 PM)
I think I might try to compromise a bit. At the tender age of 18, a 9-yr difference is HUGE. Your parents see him as some drolling pervert trolling for high school girls. In your eyes he's your wun, twoo Dom. Maybe back off the whole dating thing and concentrate on your school work (gezz, I sounds like SUCH a parent!) ~Dave

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 6:46:27 PM)
And If you do move out with this perfect guy you know nothing about honestly.. Do you think your parents will adopt me, and pays several THOUSAND dollars... for college? I mean seriously, Ill not date anyone kinky ill keep curfew and be the PERFECT child

servantforuse -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 6:48:12 PM)
You need to grow up a little. Moving out with no job and no money is being immature. At your age you need to continue with your education. Have you been reading the paper and watching the news ? THERE ARE NO JOBS OUT THERE, even for college grads..

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 6:49:40 PM)
Regardless of what age you are, I don't think it's smart or wise to move in with someone you've only known a week, but who knows it could be the best thing ever to happen. <--- extremely glad my parents didn't try to dictate to me what I could and couldn't do, or who I could and couldn't date by the time I was 18.

DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 6:52:38 PM)
I think moving in with the dom is a mistake. Since you have no job you will be totally dependent on him to support you. That is not a good way to start any relationship. Plus I can tell you from personal experience that if parents on either side have a major issue it can make your relationship really difficult. In the end you may feel put in the middle and like you have to make a choice. My suggestion to you is take a break from this dom, stay in contact but keep it casual. Get a job and move out into your own place even its where you are renting a room from someone. Then pick up your relationship with this dom. If he is worth his salt he will not only understand but support you in this.

DameBruschetta -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 6:53:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Glasgow So... anyone recall how I said I told my mom about how I was into bdsm? And that the 27 year old guy I was hanging out with was from a bdsm site? Yeah. Not going over so well. She and my father are having lots of very long talks, and it looks like it's going to boil down to either an 'us or him' situation (For the record, my father does not know about the kink factor). I believe that they (or rather, she) doesn't care so much about the kinktastic aspects, but just that they 100% do not want me with someone 9 years older than I. So I am in desperate need of a few wise comments. Jeffff, you can post too anyway. So here are some l33t pros and cons: Pros (of moving out): I am ready to move out. I'm actually a little tired of my house, which I have been living in my entire life. Also, no curfew! The Dom I'm talking to will let me move in with him, rent-free. He also lives alone in a very nice house in a good neighborhood. Being the magnificent age of 18, I'm tired of my parents telling me what to do because I know best, dammit! and I want to spread my wings, as it were. If it didn't work out with him, my parents would let me move in (as long as we weren't together anymore). I really like this guy--- quite a bit. We've hit it off very well. Cons (of moving out): I have no job (naturally, this would be helped some if I tried to get one :/) I just started at my community college, and would have to drop out if he doesn't want to pay for it (or, again, if I can't get a job). Ready for the one I'm sure you all will have the biggest problem with? ...I've only known him for about a week. And if I stayed home... I wouldn't be able to see him anymore, and would probably have to suppress the life I want to live for several years until I finish a 4-year university and become financially independent. Ok, so you want to go move in with a guy you've known for about a week because your parents disapprove... because if it doesn't work out they'll let you move back in. Have you thought about how most likely having to move back in (because the odds of you two really knowing each other well enough to know if it will work in a week are slim) is going to look to them? How it will reflect back upon you when another situation similar to this occurs and they consider if you are making a wise choice? Stop trying to move hastily. Be respectful and grown up and when you're parents bring up their issues with all these be an adult and discuss it with them. Think about the reasons they bring up and discuss your own point of view in a calm logical way. Try to find a compromise. Neither of you may be right in your own views... and irregardless their more experienced point of view may help you see things you haven't realized. I would never recommend having to move in with a total stranger (and be totally dependent on another stranger) that isn't family nor someone you know very well unless you have no choice otherwise - and that is not the case here. Jumping off the deep end may accomplish nothing but shooting yourself in the foot in more ways then one. Think before you leap. Find a good solid job or focus on your education, don't throw good options away just for some dude you barely know. Relationships come and go, school, family, jobs... sometimes those chances don't come back when you'd like them too.

Mercnbeth -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 6:57:49 PM)
this slave votes for the move out option!!! spread your wings, rock your world and all that nonsense!!! perhaps when you have to move back in with your parents, you will appreciate them and what they provide for you a LOT more. [:)]

ThatDaveGuy69 -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 6:57:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DameBruschetta Jumping off the deep end may accomplish nothing but shooting yourself in the foot in more ways then one. Think before you leap. Find a good solid job or focus on your education, don't throw good options away just for some dude you barely know. Relationships come and go, school, family, jobs... sometimes those chances don't come back when you'd like them too. WOW! You can really mix those metaphors! ~Dave

DameBruschetta -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 7:00:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDaveGuy69 quote: ORIGINAL: DameBruschetta Jumping off the deep end may accomplish nothing but shooting yourself in the foot in more ways then one. Think before you leap. Find a good solid job or focus on your education, don't throw good options away just for some dude you barely know. Relationships come and go, school, family, jobs... sometimes those chances don't come back when you'd like them too. WOW! You can really mix those metaphors! ~Dave I blame it on the coffee. [:D]

juliaoceania -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 7:02:03 PM)
I am going to level with you, the fact that you are even entertaining leaving college, free rent with the parents, etc for an almost complete stranger tells me that you have a lot more growing up to do... Unfortunately, in my experience, when a young woman is thinking the way that you are, they do grow up, the VERY HARD WAY. The good news, if he ends up being an abusive prick, your mom and dad will take you back because they love you.

laurell3 -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 7:11:15 PM)
Independence is a great thing, but it means very little without income. I don't know what it's like where you are right now, but the 18-20 year olds without higher education here cannot get jobs. The laid off skilled work force is taking the jobs typically held by them. I would really investigate whether you would have any ability to support yourself before you jump. It seems like not having someone to tell you what to do is a great thing, but I have to tell you it's not all that easy to support yourself and deal with life's problems every day. Also check into what it takes for you to be considered independent for financial aid for school. If your parents are still claiming you as a tax deduction you may not qualify, but you might be able to get in a work program to pay for school and experience and work your way towards that independence that you desire. There are many programs out there, the majority of them DO look at income though and your parents income may be considered, you need to investigate them so you really know what your options are. Set 10 year goals for yourself independent of ANY guy or even your parents and do what it takes to put those in motion. The guy is not the issue in my opinion, you've known him a week and you would be completely dependent upon him, that's not even a good situation with someone you've known much longer. What do you want for yourself and how are you going to get it? That's the question you should be asking yourself. Men may not be in your life forever, you will. You can do whatever you want, but I would suggest that you should really know what your options and limitations are before you decide.

Glasgow -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 7:13:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Independence is a great thing, but it means very little without income. I don't know what it's like where you are right now, but the 18-20 year olds without higher education here cannot get jobs. The laid off skilled work force is taking the jobs typically held by them. I would really investigate whether you would have any ability to support yourself before you jump. It seems like not having someone to tell you what to do is a great thing, but I have to tell you it's not all that easy to support yourself and deal with life's problems every day. Also check into what it takes for you to be considered independent for financial aid for school. If your parents are still claiming you as a tax deduction you may not qualify, but you might be able to get in a work program to pay for school and experience and work your way towards that independence that you desire. There are many programs out there, the majority of them DO look at income though and your parents income may be considered, you need to investigate them so you really know what your options are. Set 10 year goals for yourself independent of ANY guy or even your parents and do what it takes to put those in motion. The guy is not the issue in my opinion, you've known him a week and you would be completely dependent upon him, that's not even a good situation with someone you've known much longer. What do you want for yourself and how are you going to get it? That's the question you should be asking yourself. Men may not be in your life forever, you will. You can do whatever you want, but I would suggest that you should really know what your options and limitations are before you decide. This makes sense. I knew I liked you for a reason :)

girlygurl -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 7:16:18 PM)
One question. Why in the hell would you want to move in with a guy you've only known for "about a week" ?

Glasgow -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 7:20:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: girlygurl One question. Why in the hell would you want to move in with a guy you've only known for "about a week" ? Because I'm young, stupid, and tired of living at home.

DarkSteven -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 7:20:28 PM)
Take up with a 54n year old man first. After him, a 27 year old would be welcomed by your parents... /End of commercial/ Seriously, I agree that you have a right to go out and experience. But you should earn that right. Go out and get a job. Appreciate what your parents do for you, and earn the respect from them that you feel you're missing. And I disagree with SFU. There ARE jobs out there. But they're not easy to come by. I made the mistake of graduating college with no applicable experience in my field and my career was stunted from the start.

leadership527 -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 7:28:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Glasgow Because I'm young, stupid, and tired of living at home. Well, there you have it then. It's tough to argue with that chuckles More seriously, I personally wouldn't be moving out just to dump myself into someone else's lap. If I wanted to move out, I'd be figuring a way to support myself. I honestly don't see how extending your childhood by becoming this guy's child is really going to change anything. It may well be tough. You could be looking at working 60+ hour weeks while attending school full-time. But if I were you I'd be wanting to actually be an adult when I set out on my own to.. you know.. be an adult.

Glasgow -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 7:29:13 PM)
Steve, I remember copyrighting your picture yesterday... why do you still have it up? You know I could sue, you right?

MissSepphora1 -> RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out (6/13/2010 7:30:26 PM)
are you really, honestly, thinking of doing this? i mean really? here is the bad side to all of this. if he IS an abusive prick, and really good at it, on one hand he can be an absolute angel giving you everything you think you want, which in this lifestyle could be very close to abuse. and on the other hand, tell you your parents won't want you back because you're dirty, or limit the time you see your parents because "you are his sub and he can tell you what to do". or he can make you feel so worthless with humiliation play that you don't feel worthy to do anything other than what he says. or he could put you in a cage and leave you there for a week in his nice house. there are sooo many really bad scenarios that could happen i don't want to think about all of them. but this sums up a lot. hopefully you take it to heart.

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